| Hill was last seen leaving port at Land's End last Thursday, and left the nation mystified when he failed to return. Three weeks later, he was found embedded in the clutches of the deep waters. One of his feet had become entrapped in the sea bed. He managed to stay alive by tearing out and eating one of his own eyeballs. In an interview, from his beloved boat SSS Clitoris, Hill admitted, "this could be a career-threatening situation. I can no longer do all the things I once did. I have a new responsibility. God has entrapped me in the sea, for reasons best known unto Himself, and I must live with this. My eye is gone, which is why I scrunch up my face so. However, being a comedian, I look on the bright side of even the darkest situations. I have been plagued by barnacles. I never know when the tide might come in and drown my sorry ass. I live life one tide at a time. It is a tragic irony that both of my feet have been lodged like this." With a sly grin and a cheeky wink, Hill proceeded to lift one foot out of the murky waters. "Not really, but the power of suggestion!" |
