| ANAHEIM, Cali. (AP)_ Some insist that it is the happiest place on earth. But Coach Sam insists that DIsneyland is the "crappiest" place on earth and refuses to take his players there during its off-season training camp located in Orange County, California. "I have to adhere to a strict time schedule here," Coach Sam Hong said. "I don't have time to take Zack and Slater to see Mickey Mouse." Team Sam players are distraught by their coach's refusal to go to the world-famous amusement park, and several players are threatening to quit the team if their demands are not met. "Seriously, all this 'training camp' entails is sleeping 10 hours, playing Madden 2003 all day and occasionally reading a Stephen King book," Team Sam defenseman Gentle Ben said. "At least Team Cozza gets to watch film. I didn't leave the circus for this crap, ok?" Many are concerned about Team Sam's preparedness for the upcoming Winter Season set to begin on January 6. According to local sources, Coach Sam Hong is also becoming eccentric and displaying unordinary behavior - among other things, he has begun talking to imaginary "friends" and refuses to eat or talk to anyone before noon or after 9 PM. "This is why I'm not a human," Ben said. "Stupid things...always walking on two legs." |
| (12/25) Team Wants to go to Disneyland, Coach Says No |
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