| McCormick: God's gift to Allison Hall |
| (3/23)Nick needs to grow up Guest Columnist Ariel Alexovich All right, all right, so my plan of believing in the home team ended up biting me in the ass. I was just a girl with a dream. And in personal vendettas, I have to say that that quote from Anand Murthy posted on this site was unneccesarily mean-spirited. Who the hell are you, Anand? Have I even met you? Would I even like you if I met you? I didn't think so. I understand Nick Collins' animosity towards me, for we all know that his gruff exterior is nothing more than a sad attempt to cover an innate tendency to cry. Why he compares the mehoops/wohoops duo's picks, I'm not really sure. NEWSFLASH moron � this is a bracket about YOUR SPORT! You know, the one you covered for three months? Men's basketball? That one. If Sam and I were beating you, with our respective hockey and tennis � and WOMEN'S basketball knowledge between us, that would only solidify your one-way ticket to Homoville even further. There's no need to take out your inner insecurity on me or Sam. All I'm really concerned with here is David Sterrett not hating me for my poor picks. Sterrett, you're the real one I always try to impress, and if you win, no doubt you'll get an extra-special reward. |
| (3/21)What Stupid, Stupid Picks You All Made guest analyst Nicholas A. Collins I wouldn't have guessed it, but Ariel has the biggest balls of the bunch. The little mermaid didn't pick a single No. 1 seed to go to New Orleans, proving she's got some real hair on her chest. AND she picked the lowest seed � No. 5 Wisconsin � to get through two weekends. Too bad her champ won't overcome the pencil-fucking it took from the committee. Illinois at a four is just too tough in the West. Buckeyes for respecting the Big Ten with the Illini and Badgers � too bad buckeyes are worthless and those two picks are as smart as Jim is sexually satisfied. And Jim, I'd really thought you'd know better than to have Self and Co. coming out of that bracket. Did you learn nothing this season? If Davor can score more than 10 points against your third string water boys, you're in for trouble. Big boo's for Bobby, Gary and Leo who took all four top seeds. And Nampia, I'd say I was surprised, but after all, the Yankees... You three characters should be ashamed, that's not fun and not profitable. See Oklahoma's third round exit. And everyone else who picked three No. 1's... That's pushing it. Especially Mark, where's the heart? Damn poser. Half a buckeye each for Dave, Alok, Rich and myself for at least pretending we're tough, with one No. 1 team a piece. Sonia had just one as well, but she gets 10 buckeyes because she has blueberries on her sexy ass. Ms. Wengerhoff's bracket could be looking as good as her, except for theBlue Devils. You know it's a bad sign when Seedro is the only person agree to with you � and it's even worse when it's about basketball. Can you name a player in the ACC Adam? Don't worry about my initial standing guys, the Demon Deacons will pull me up. Jon and Ariel are the only other two with Wake. Ariel has already taken care of herself, and the Cardinal will take care of Jon. Look out for anyone with the X-factor, the Muskies have the makings of a surprise national champion. |
| (3/22) Ariel/Sam need to do better guest analyst Nicholas A. Collins My esteemed colleague, Matthew P. Cozza, took a dig at my skills developed while writing the Northwestern men�s basketball beat. I�d like to examine a little side contest, between the men�s and women�s basketball writers. Jim and I are doing alright, I�ve made a furious charge up the standings, and Jim is holding his own. The Hong/Mermaid tandem simply makes the baby Jesus cry. Sam is being a very, very gracious host, letting everyone else win (except those that are really sad�) 22nd, serves you Canadians right. That�s something to boo about. And then we have Ariel. Her champ dumps her, and she almost loses a 2nd Final Four pick in the same day (damn Owens). I guess she just wanted her ship to go under, probably so she could sing with little lobsters. Maybe now she has time to make cupcakes for her and Sam, I hear it�s a good meal to lose by. And then there's the men's writers. I�m going to win, and Jim�s shortcomings are understandable. We spent so much time watching bad Big Ten basketball this year that Jim must�ve been confused about which Wildcats the Illini beat up. I told you buddy� Davor. Maybe the next Croatian sensation can teach Dee how to drive and MAKE a layup. Damn it. I think Sam and Ariel paid too much attention to June, that or they spent too much time watching the porn they made together on their road trips. Both ugly and unfit for human observance. Teal suits...*shudder* At least Sammy is silky smooth... Now if we could only find Ariel a chest razor. |
| Nice try, the both of you Guest Analyst Seung Lim Bobby, I read your nice retaliation letter, and I must say that you reaffirmed my decision to award you the award for �Biggest Pansy of the Year.� I thought you were going to come back at me with fighting comments or insults because that is what men with balls usually do when someone outright slaps them in the face with trash talk. However, proving that you lack any trace of manhood, you proceeded to digress from our situation and start talking about your great tourney picks and how you are �raping� the standings. I really commend you on your great insights about the Big 10. As far as Alice is concerned, I will not even discuss your article. The very fact that you are a woman automatically makes you inferior, and it would be degrading for me to even talk about you. But I will say this: No male participant in this pool has objected to my comments about women. Thus, I must conclude, that the only time a woman should be on top of a man is when the kitchen is upstairs. |
| (3/24)A view from above Daily 1835 co-editor Sam Hong It's been a great four days, hasn't it? Bobby Nampiaparampil has risen out of the melee and has a commanding hold of first place amid all the complaining about his "uncreative" selections, especially when it came down to the final four. In second is Matt Cozza, who is only entered in this pool because his annoying roommate forced him to. And of course, no top Five in an NCAA pool would be complete without know-nothings Adam Sedrowski, Auvrey Refuerzo and Mike McCormick. But back to Bobby. Much has been made about his picking all four No. 1 seeds as his final four selections. That's why he's in first, according to several angry complainers who are struggling to keep up with him in the standings. But take a look at Leopold Chang, who has adopted the same strategy as Bobby. Leo is 16 points behind and locked in the cellar. Do i hear any complaints about Leo (except concerning his down-to-earth good looks)? No. If you're all going to complain about Bobby, complain about something personal that annoys you about him-- like his long last name. I can not stress to you how much these long last names made the logistics of this pool a pain. Wengerhoff, Napiaparampil, Romankiewicz. Give me a break. Then there's Nick vs. everyone-else-in-the-pool, one of the many squabbles that has broken out amongst pool participants making me feel as if I'm supervising a Kindergarten class. Why does Nick insist on starting quarrels with everybody in a futile attempt to gain attention? He mocks my Canadian citizenship and then makes fun of Ariel's chest hair problem. Now whether or not Ariel has this problem under control, Nick should realize Aubrey is kicking his ass in the standings. Then there is the matter with Seung, whose sexist column drew hearty laughter from the males, and cries of outrage from the females. I say his column was the funniest thing ever posted on this website (which says nothing) and commend him fully. |
| (3/22) Shut up, Nick Daily 1835 co-editor Matthew P. Cozza I have no idea what I was thinking. Like some of you, I picked Dayton to advance to the second round and then to the Sweet Sixteen, somehow forgetting the fact that they are from Ohio. Had I realized this last Tuesday, and picked Tulsa over Dayton (by default since Dayton is from Ohio and therefore not good) my name would be bolded next to Nampiaparampil�s and the girls would be holding the 3rd and 4th place spots. But I�m sure everyone has their regrets and decisions they are now kicking themselves over (See: Martinho, Arican, Wengerhoffer, and especially Chang), and I�m sure there would be a lot of pissed off people tonight if Wake Forest would have lost and given a few people Final Four �1 tags (See: Collins, Alexovich, Roman). Nick is probably pissed off anyway, because, although no longer in last (that Daily Sports Men�s Basketball beat is really paying off), his girlfriend is still 3 points ahead of him with a flawless Sweet Sixteen. Hopefully tomorrow treats me well and doesn�t expose me for what I am (clueless), but I should be ok since I don�t have any more Ohio teams winning� Fuck. Xavier is from Ohio which explains why they are in Nick�s Final Four. I guess he�ll never learn to just leave Cincinnati teams alone. I should stop talking though, because I�m getting this feeling that my luck is going to run out very soon. Really, what it comes down to is, I can talk shit like this because I don�t pride myself upon following this stuff or act like I know what I�m doing. Before the tournament, the only college basketball games I saw this year were NU games, the two games I actually attended. Shit, before Thursday, I had never been to ESPN.com for anything other than soccer. So you guys can make fun of my picks all you want. I�m only in this because Sam made me do it. |
| (3/25)Clueless Seung needs to watch his mouth Guest analyst Alice M. Muratani I'd just like to know who this Seung Lim character is, bashing on other people's picks as if he actually knew what he were doing. I guarantee to you that the majority of people in this tournament, including Seung, have not been following college basketball that closely and did go off rankings and standings to pick who would pull through, putting in a few upsets here and there... why? Because teams are not randomly given a number in rankings... they actually mean a little something. And if Seung is telling me that he did follow college basketball that closely then I'd have to say that he's got too much time on his hands to be screwing around watching games all the time and reading up on the current standings, rankings, and stats. Furthermore, I don't want to hear his crap about girls. First Seung talks about people being pansies for going off rankings, and then gives crap to girls that don't go off rankings -- and are ranked below him right now. So congratulations on contradicting yourself. You've proven to be full of talk and will only reinforce that when you do not win the pool. And if you do, let's not forget that it will be because you picked #1 ranked Kentucky to win. Real "creative." |
| (3/25) Major losers: Seung Lim and the Big Ten Guest Analyst Robert G. Nampiaparampil I was wondering when someone would start crying about my domination in the early rounds, and Seung Lim quickly answered the call. Nonetheless while we're still only in second round action, Seung clearly voices me out, when there were a couple others who did the same as I did. Those others, unfortunately, they're not raping the standings as I currently am. The thing is, Seung, we all know that it really comes down on the finals picks and the champion pick ultimately. Nice job on not basing your picks on rankings by not picking Kentucky, the overwhelming favorite by every sports broadcaster, to come away in this tournament as the champion. Oh, my bad, you did� Clearly, also, I can't be solely basing it on rankings, as there have been a few upsets, and I wouldn't have this many points if I didn't call some of them. Additionally, the amount of Big 10 pride at NU is too much, in my opinion. Clearly, Illinois was going to lose sooner or later. People having them going to final four and beyond were unable to separate personal favoritism from pool choices, which can be a big problem (just as big as Nick picking Cincinnati last year). It�s also a thing called hedging your bets. I realized entering this pool that being from the Big 10, and knowing NU people, most people would have Illinois going way too far into the tournament. Wisconsin remains our final source of conference pride, but we all know their luck will run out against Kentucky. That should eliminate all Big 10 teams from the tournament, I believe. Not to say that is a good thing, but clearly they didn�t stand a chance against the other conferences. I don�t have much else to say, other than good luck to 'Zona, as they probably had that test (against Gonzaga) every national championship team needs on their way to glory. |
| Yesterday Screwed Me, Today Screwed You Daily 1835 Co-Editor Matthew P. Cozza Yesterday, I went 1 for 4 on Elite 8 picks after getting all 4 on Thursday. UCONN let me down, and I fell to my lowest standing of the tournament: 6th place. But thanks to Marquette and Kansas, I'm back on top, tied with Lori. My friend Brandon has been following the action and has been saying for the past week: "I'm telling you, Fradkin is your sleeper." He was right, and I am scared. Yes, Seung, scared of a girl. She has a chance to rack in points from 3 Final Four teams, whereas I have to rely on 2. One thing is clear- Texas has to lose. The SOONER the better. Michigan State is a thug Big Ten team, and, if Sam wears his shorts tomorrow, hopefully they can play scrappy enough to edge out Texas, who would have lost to UCONN if the ball didn't get stuck between the rim and the backboard. Watch UCONN next year if Okafor (soph) stays Anyways, you guys probably don't care what I have to say. Chances are, you are pissed that your champ is gone. Two more of you are going to be out of luck tomorrow, because Carmello Anthony can't beat Oklahoma by himself. He's no Dwayne Wade. And I'm no Sam Hong, so I'll stop. |
| We sat down with NCAA pool finalist Mike McCormick for a frank discussion on his deepest thoughts 1835: How do you think you got to be a fianlist for this pool? MM: I think it all starts with the brains that I've got up in this head. You see, I'm also a lot smarter than everyone else in this pool. 1835: I see...now everyone knows about your alcohol problem. There's also speculation that you have a gambling |
| problem. Is this true? MM: It's only a 'problem' when you lose. 1835: So...is that a yes? MM: yes 1835: I see..a grizzly bear versus 40 midgets with six-inch knives...who wins? MM: I do. 1835: That wasn't an answer choice MM: I don't care 1835: No, really. Who wins? MM: I guess 40 midgets 1835: why? |
| MM: Well the bear can't attack much more then a couple of them at the same time and the rest of them will be killing him with their 6 inch knives, which are actually quite large 1835: How about if was 39 midgets plus you? What then? MM: Then the bear stands no chance at all 1835: You're awfully cocky, I feel like disqualifying you from the pool. |
| (4/6) Sorry Guys Ladies First Matthew Cozza, Daily 1835 Co-Editor To the dismay of mysogynists everywhere, Syracuse and Kansas won tonight, and that means that no man will walk away from the Daily 1835 tournament pool with the first place prize money. In fact, if Syracuse beats Kansas on Monday night, the most a male can win is five dollars, unfortunately that male is Mike McCormick, who already swims in the profits of his lucrative croquet fairgrounds. Who would have thought that Syracuse's zone and freshman standout could carry them this far? I didn't. It's obvious by now that they have a decent team, but, I still hate them. Actually, I don't care. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this column, because I didn't actually see the games today and the only reason I'm writing this is because Sam isn't around to. Anyways, guys, since we are all out of the tournament running, we can finally get back to the things that really matter like video games... |
| (4/8)Girl Power? guest analyst Lori Fradkin To my fellow competitors - So I've been silent this whole tournament, but don't think I haven't been watching. After seeing my beloved Longhorns get eliminated, I was devastated, but my hope lingered on the other Big 12 school in the championship. Unfortunately, those damn Orangement (who chooses pumpkins for their mascot anyway?) came up victorious. Congrats to Sonia on a hard fought victory. Clearly, she was the real sleeper in this pool. Don't share the money with your boyfriend: if he can't pick 'em right and can't have the foresight to make a deal with you, he doesn't deserve it. And by the way, Ariel, enjoy your $6.50. But, more importantly, I would like to give a shout-out to the very vocal Seung... How does it feel to have girls place first and second? I would say, next time, put your money where your mouth is, but you already did... and Sonia, Ariel, and I have it. Hook 'em horns. |
| Matthew Cozza, Daily 1835 Co-Editor Well, this tournament didn't turn out so well. I picked one of the finalists, which was good, but no consolation for 5th place after being at the top for most of the run. Bobby has even more reason to be upset. Upset. That's what Sonia's victory was. She was hiding in the middle of the ranks the entire tournament, sometimes dipping into the bottom five. But she still came out on top despite it being nearly impossible. The games all went in her favor since the final four. Sam will return and make some type of extravagant tournament review page that I am not capable of because I have run out of things to say. |
| MM: I'll destroy you 1835: OK, well, anyways. People have been telling me all you're good for as a human being is spitting out recycled movie quotes at the most inappropriate times, especially lines from "Rounders," a movie you have reportedly watched 72 times. My question is, do you consider yourself God's gift to Allison Hall? MM: I'm Bad News Bears, baby |
| (3/23)Women have no place in this pool Guest Columnist Seung Lim As the NCAA tournament shifts into gear, I�ve sat back and listened to the pathetic discussions between Matt and Nick. Basically, Matt is mad at Nick because he won�t go out with him. On another note, Bobby Nampiaparampil gets my award for biggest pansy of the year. Showing no balls whatsoever, he bases his picks solely on rankings and used little creative thinking in his picks. But I guess that�s the kind of actions you can expect from a pansy school like Northwestern that allows girls to participate in the men�s NCAA tournament pool. It serves them right that they are at the bottom of the list and about to be eliminated (if not already, i.e. Ariel). Listen ladies, the women�s NCAA tournament just started, see if you can still join that tournament pool. |
| Look out for Aubrey Daily 1835 co-editor Sam Hong With anti-bobbyism being the sign of the times, I think I should bring something up. I suggest you all look out for Aubrey Refuerzo. Along with Craig Saltzman, she is the only person to have Kentucky and Oklahoma in the final. The way things are going right now, that appears to be a very possible scenario -- maybe even probable. Seeing as how Aubrey has a 7-point edge on Craig, people should shift their attention away from Bobby (I know it's hard) and to Aubrey, Time for Nick to convince her to withdraw from the pool. I have drawn some fire for endorsing Seung's sexist comments that suggested that the five women in this pool go join the women's bracket. Well, compared to what he said in today's column.....yeah. So there you go. |