| Karaoke Everyone dreams of being famous, we all sing in the shower or along to the Stereo. What makes us want to sing in public? Why do we have to share these vocal talents with the rest of the world? Two answers - We live in hope of being spotted by a talent scout (yeah, very likely!), and drinking too much beer! Scotty's, Daggers, Gav & Kitch's attempt at singing Hey Jude was in a word, different! One microphone didn't work (thank you God), and Daggers' yelling of the chorus was passionate if not in tune. (Lindley & Marsh) The next offering was in Shipley, another Beatles song Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. Scotty and Daggers on the mic, and they gave the massive crowd a treat they will never forget! It was sung with a thick Yorkshire accent, think Ilkley Moor Bah'Tat! The latest delight came courtesy of Gav & Scotty in Low Moor, again a Beatles song (there's a theme developing here) She Loves You. Gav took the lead and Scotty did the Yeah Yeah Yeah. The old couple in the corner obviously enjoyed it, as they both had their fingers in their ears!!! Also amongst the remembered include Gav, Kitch, Scotty and Stu in Halifax, decked out in Shakin' Stevens outfits singing Daydream Believer, but the overall classic was when Scotty sang a solo to a packed pub in Queensbury. The song was Last Train to Clarkesville, however Scotty didn't even know the tune! |
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| Tales from the Bar |
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| You're Nicked Our first ever stopover on the crawls took us to the historical town of Newark-on-Trent. Our lodgings for the night was a Pub which was situated in the centre of the town. On the Sunday morning, after recovering from the night before, we went for a walk to sober up (Daggers' driving is bad enough, without still being drunk!) . Whilst walking through the town we noticed hundreds of railings everywhere. We thought "How Strange" as these railings stretched all the way around the perimeter of the town. We started to panic. After realising what was happening - a massive cycling festival and our car was parked in the middle of the course! We attempted to find a way out. Half an hour passed as we tried to get out of Newark, no luck. As we were now getting narked off and starting to use some choice language, we thought we'd talk to two patrolling "boys in blue" to see if they would help. We were just in time. With one policeman walking infront of us and one walking behind us we set off to try to find a way out of the maze (much to the amusement of the gathering crowd). the policeman then made an opening for us and they escorted us to the main road. Unfortunately we haven't the photos to prove it. Damn those pesky bicycles!! |
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| Rock On, Seth! You know what it's like, you've had a few too many pints and it always seems a good idea to go to a nightclub. We ended up in Rio's, a heavy metal club in Bradford. Seth found his way to the middle of the dancefloor, surounded by mulletts and air guitars! A group of women took a shine to seth, and a "dance off" started involving the women, Stu and Daggers. Each person took it in turn to dance over, under or around Seth. It all started off pretty mildly, just the general silly dancing and limbo movements. Then Daggers decided to higher the stakes with his unique attempt at 'break dancing' (looked more like someone having a fit!!!) Trying to beat this amazing show of ahem... dancing was the final challenger, up she stepped. She hitched her skirt up to panty level and proceded to slowly maneuver her hips backwards and forwards over Seth. The poor little man didn't know where to place his walking stick and she ended up with a big smile on her face! |
| You said it! With these crawls spanning over three years, it has given us the opportunity to see many places, different pubs and we have met various characters. Many of these characters have given us many a laugh with the comments they have made. Take our crawl in Ossett for example. When we went out in an operation gown, rubber gloves and hairnets, we thought we looked like doctors or at least a patient. But no, how stupid of us! As a group of intoxicated youngsters walked past us, imagine how surprised we were when one of them shouted, "Oi. Are you in crew cuts gang? Kitch and Gav looked at each other puzzled. Then it dawned on us, he meant "Klu Klux Klan!" One of the funniest "one liners" happened in Undercliffe. Coincedently we had a theme again. This time the attire was farmer's clothes. Surprisingly, despite being dressed in full costume and the lack of farms in the area, the fancy dress seemed to pass unnoticed, apart from one rather loud, young female in the Junction pub. On approaching Daggers, the woman asked. "What are you dressed as?" "What do I look like? replied Daggers. "You look like a tosser!" quipped the rather polite woman. How right she was! |
| "My sisters a big bloke!" |
| "You should really be dead!" |
| A drunk on the first alternative Bradford crawl. |
| The ever subtle Kitch when talking to an old man explaining his war wounds. |