WHY I DON’T WEAR THE BDSM
SYMBOL
This is going to take a bit of explaining, because I really don’t want to be misunderstood here. I have no objection whatever to the appearance of the symbol itself. It’s pretty, it looks nice, it’s inoffensive (well, ok, I may object to that part because I like offending people) and it goes with just about anything. In fact, its creator has written that it is intended to be open-ended and universal. All very well and good. But, as with all symbols, there is a subtext. Using the symbol implies membership in a community, almost a freemasonry. And as such implies that the person wearing it will submit to the will of the community and its perceived interests.
Ok, maybe I’m sounding a bit esoteric here, but think about this for a minute. One thing we have learned from hard experience is that just because the creator of something involving BDSM may have a set of ideas attached to that creation (witness the SSC disaster) does not mean that others will attach the same meaning to it or even be aware of the original concepts. They will inevitably attach their own meanings to it and, being the type of people we are, will assume that everyone else uses the same interpretation and get mad when they don’t. So, let us say that the person sees the three limbs of the trefoil as standing for Safe, Sane and Consensual, that person will assume that anyone wearing the symbol will also ascribe to SSC. And we know what that can lead to!
What is much more disturbing to me as a practicing individualist is the unwritten but clearly implied concept of subordination to a community. Now, the creator of the symbol was probably not thinking of this at all and would probably be horrified at the implication, but the wearing of the BDSM symbol implies that one is not merely a member of the “community” but also willing to submit to the judgement of the “community” in all things. This is inherint in the nature of group symbols. A person can look at the individual wearing the symbol and say, “If you wear that symbol then you must stand for such and so and this behavior is not in keeping with that.” It is very much like saying you follow SSC. The wearer of the symbol is giving everyone else who uses it the right to judge his behavior by their standards.
This has very real practical implications. Communities have perceived interests and often these interests are at variance with the perceived interests of individuals who are involved with them. When such conflicts occur, the communitarian will expect the individual to subordinate his interests to that of the community. If the individual has proclaimed his membership in the community and is wearing a symbol indicative of that membership, then the expectation is justified. But if the individual does not wear the symbol, he may then, in all reasonableness, respond that he is a member of the community only insofar as the community’s interests and his coincide but is not going to subordinate himself or his interests to the community. This will naturally cause great annoyance to the good communitarian, but the individual will have clearly stated his position and the communitarian cannot then expect a submission to the interests of the community. On the contrary, the individual has proclaimed his unwillingness to be dictated to. Now, in a closed community, this would be serious step for the individualist to make because the communitarians could then simply throw him out. But in an open community, this risk is not present. On the contrary, there will be as many who applaud his position as those who condemn it. If you wear the symbol of a community, you must conform to that community even when your own interests are threatened. To do otherwise is to show disrespect to the symbol.
So that is why I won’t wear the BDSM symbol. Daggerism is not communitarian, it is individualist, it supports the interests and desires of the individual over that of any community, including our own. We’ll keep the secrets that are entrusted to us, aid those who deserve it and support that which is likewise deserving, but we will never allow a community to dictate to us.