Ok, I made a little boo boo. When I wrote my piece about the biggest lie in BDSM folks sort of
got the idea that I was against switching.
Nothing could be more wrong.
I’ve even done it myself. What
I’m against is the notion that people HAVE to do something.
Switches have an advantage over pure tops and bottoms in
that they are not locked into one role.
It enables them to experience a full range of things and enjoy
them. The problem with it comes from
people feeling that they have to live up to an image and are afraid that they
will lose face if that image changes.
And let us be honest, the Structuralist swine (may Allah grow fleas in
their groin) for the most part really frown on switching because it screws up
the social system they base everything on.
They don’t know where to put switches, so they put the onus on them,
saying that they are, “confused,” when what they really are is honest and it is
the Structuralists (may Allah feed them to the dogs) who are the confused ones,
confused about where the switches fit in their neat system.
I’m having a bit of fun here, like I often do, but it
really steams me when people try to dictate to other people how they should put
their relationships together.
Now you must understand that switching, like everything
else in BDSM, has no rules. Some people
switch from top to bottom, some from Dom to Sub and vice versa in both cases,
some keep to their normally defined roles and just do something the opposite
for the sake of the experience. In my
case, I don’t merely top from the bottom, I DOM from the bottom. Just because I can’t move doesn’t mean I’m
giving up control. I’m merely giving up
mobility and some dignity (which isn’t something I value much anyway).
Now, switching can be a
bit of a touchy thing in some ways.
Just because someone who normally tops is bottoming does not mean that
they want the same thing they do to their victims. In my own case, I have no pain tolerance at all so there is no
way I’m going to allow someone to use a flogger on me, much less my cattle
prod. This is something the top in that
case really has to be aware of because otherwise really bad things can happen.
Another thing is that if people are not used to seeing
someone who normally tops bottom it can occasionally create a rather, well,
peculiar reaction. (The opposite,
bottoms topping does not seem to create that kind of response.) There is the
story of the well-known Domme who bottomed at a party and one of her subs came
in to see her naked, tied down over the horse, getting flogged and he just
could not handle it and had to leave.
That reaction is a rather rare occurrence in Transgressionist (may Allah
bless and keep them) communities but in the more structured ones (may Allah
heal them and lead them to the truth) it can be a bit of a problem. But even in a loose one such as ours the
surprise factor can be something. I’ll
never forget the time I was visiting a pro domme friend of mine some years ago
and I was helping her practice her rope work (which I did on rather regular
basis because she really started off baaaad).
She had me tied to a rather elaborate chair and in came one of her girls
who only knew me as a dom and she was absolutely flabbergasted. She just sat down across the room and
watched as her boss and I talked about the weather (it was colder than a
politician’s heart that day) and something on the news. The look on her face was priceless! But
the best was the first time I bottomed at a CDG party and the club president
nearly died! (Or at least so I was told because I was blindfolded at the time.)
But what she did not know was that every few years I had the urge to do that
and it just happened to land again.
Hell, back in our artist days we were always tying everyone up and
didn’t think about roles at all.
So if you have the urge, go ahead and scratch it. No one will think the less of you for it and
you will have the joy of breaking another rule.