Britney Spears
Yes, I realize that she is an easy target. In more ways than one. Still, like mom always said, and by “mom” I mean the other geeks in Latin class, “Semper ubi sub ubi.” Of course, anyone who goes out clubbing with Paris Hilton as part of a PR blitz to show how responsible and mature she is... actually, by comparison to Paris just about anyone seems mature, so good strategy, Brit!
Anyway, I want to be clear, as clear as if I were Britney’s undies (a fantasy for many, no doubt, though mine is to be her talent in order to contemplate the void.): at least it wasn’t Paris. Everyone who wants to has already seen that, most of them in person. If she ever got her own sign, MacDonald’s would feel less successful about its total number served.
True the Big Mac is just as hot and tastes just as bad as Paris, but it weighs more and has a larger vocabulary. Not that this is a secret. Even the Hilton family says that Nikki is the smart one. Ouch.
So returning to Ms. Spears, it was a wise jettisoning of unnecessary ballast to seek the dissolution of her union, but how much can unmentionables contribute to lightening the load? (For Britney’s benefit I’ll rephrase that - divorcing K-Fed: good. Going commando: not good.) In fact, one might argue that had she kept them on more often it might have helped avoid acquiring the tremendous dead weight that is Kevin Federline. Why on earth would anyone want to associate with such a classless, vocally inept.... Hmm, by comparison he makes just about anyone seem brilliant and talented. I sense a pattern.
I recommend that Britney start hanging out with people on her own level. I hear Debbie Gibson is free this year. And every year. But at least she wrote her own songs. Wait. Is that good or bad?
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