Failure…

            Doesn’t mean I have to give up.

It means I have to go on and do better.

            Doesn’t mean I’m stupid,

I was just careless.

            Doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of being a person.

                        It’s just that I disappointed people and I’m sorry for that.

            Doesn’t mean you have to be ashamed of me.

                        I just need you to help me face the world again.

 

21 October 1999

 

 

In Silence

I look right through your bright eyes,

Hoping it glows for me.

I saw your soul and read your thoughts,

Knowing it ain’t for me.

I listen attentively to your sweet voice,

Hoping it speaks of me.

I heard your every word,

And not even one spoke of me.

 

All these years, I have loved thee.

Waiting for you to fall for me.

I’ve waited for so long.

And it hurts to know that

Your heart belongs to someone else.

The courage I have now to tell how I feel

For after this, I again have to suffer

The pain of loving you in silence.

 

April 2001

 

 

I've Risen

Happy days are here again,
I've risen from my fall
And the sun has stopped the rain
The tears have gone dry
My mind thinks whole again
I've gone through the worst
Now i know that i'll be able
When it all again comes out to burst.

June 2000

 

LiFe

Anguish in my heart.
Confusion in my mind.
What am i to do?
Where am i to start?
Picking up the pieces
Of this messed up life.

Oh, give me a reason
Why life has to be this hard
Why the road has to be rough
And circumstances be tough
Why we need to feel pain?
And shed a tear in each eye.

A thousand times i've thought
Should i just give up or not?
For i can no longer bear it.
Clinging here, hanging on.
And as i reach the end of my rope,
I think i would just have to let go.

But a voice in me says
That i must move on and live by
Never give up and just try.
For in the end i will be better.
And i've proven them wrong.
And realize life is still sweet afterall

28 May 2000

 

Not you

 

Your face I see when I sleep

Your voice I hear amidst the silence

Your touch I feel in the gentle breeze

Tell me, are you for real?

 

The happiness I feel I can’t explain

Everytime I spend a moment with you.

I know with all these I have nothing to gain

Cos I know what I see is not the real you.

           

18 May 2001

 

 

PAIN

 

The burdens of the past

Relived through the memories,

Piercing through my heart,

Stabbing me like a knife.

 

My tears that fall

Is  like the river that flows.

A never-ending gush it goes

All I wish is for it to halt.

 

August 2001

 

 

The Fool

 

A fool I’ve been for loving so deep

To a player that was you.

A fool I’ve been for believin’

To a liar that was you.

A fool I’ve been for not seein’

The pretenses that lie from within you.

A fool I’ve been for I did not feel

What you really mean.

But I got back into my senses

And the fool I’ve been no longer exists.

 

15 August 2001

 

 

WHY

 

Alone, I whisper your name

Then the gentle wind gets into my senses,

Images of you form into the air,

Memories come flashing back into my mind.

This is the agony I suffer

For loving you so deeply

Why aren’t we together?

Didn’t you feel my sincerity?

 

Such feelings, such pains

Pure intentions my heart sings

But why is it you I cannot have?

Haven’t I done enough?

Or have I proven you otherwise?

Tell me what’s with you

Why I can’t forget the past,

And why I still love you?

 

18 July 2001

 

 

Without You

I never knew what love meant
Until you came like heaven sent.
You showered me with sweet words.
But in the end they all felt like piercing swords.
Is this what to me is due?
Surviving a life without you?
You are all i need.
Please hear this call i heed
You made me so complete and
Without you, i can never be me again

19 Dec 2000

 

Pretenses

 

Happiness in my eyes you see

The sound of joy in my voice you hear

But what is it that you really can’t see?

And what is it that you really can’t hear?
It’s the agony I feel from within,

The pain that lies in my being.

 

17 Sept 2001

 

 

Real Love

 

Lonely and empty is what it may seem

When I’m here alone waiting for thee.

People may be right when they say

That it’s just joy and not love that we feel.

But no, cos I’m still here holding on

And wanting to prove them all wrong.

I may not look you in your eyes

To know that your intentions are true.

But I can feel from within you

To know that it’s love all right.

You searched my soul when it was lost.

You loved me with your eyes closed.

You brought me feelings no one has made me feel

And with all these, I know that your love is for real.

 

13 March 2002

 

 

Moved

 

What the hell is wrong with me?

To be me I just can’t be.

You gave me a wonderful feeling

Which suddenly made up my whole being.

 

I dream about you all the time,

Wishing your body next to mine.

I’m dying here waiting for that night

When I could hold you near with all my might.

 

I don’t care with what they say about us.

You’re the only one I’ll trust.

I won’t give you up for what they say

Instead, I’ll love you more day by day.

 

In a thousand ways you moved me,

The meaning of life you made me see,

You gave me enough reason to live.

It’s your love, the reason why I breathe.

           

4 March 2002

 

 

 

Masked

 

Trapped inside are lies

Piercing my whole being

Stabbing me deep within.

The feelings I need to hide

To stick up to my pride.

Tell me when can I be freed

From all the pretenses

That make up the whole of me.

 

Unmask my soul is what I should do

And let you know the real me.

It’s not to gain your sympathy,

But to let you know of my agony

For one day I might just be gone

And no one would ever know

That such pains have made me felt this low

And I am hurting and dying so slow.

 

25 June 2002