Love Crap

 

 

            All’s been said and written about love. I may not be that expert on this topic but I’ve had experiences too. I’ve been to relationships before, relationships that never worked out, that at one point something always seemed to have gone wrong. And because of this, questions came into me and at the end, I found the answers as well.

           

            Why does one get into relationships when there is never an assurance that it’s gonna last for a lifetime? Is there ever a way to find out that that person is the right one for you? And sometimes, why is love being replaced with bitterness and pain? Is it because it wasn’t love we felt afterall? Is it because we didn’t really love at all? And why do they say that letting go is a proof of our love? Aren’t we supposed to hang on if we really love the person? Inspite of the other’s flaws, why do we insist to understand and bear the hardship it inflicts on us? Why do we have to pretend that everything’s fine?

 

            We get into a relationship because that is our feeling for the moment. The other brings us such good feelings and we just wanted to live that moment. It really is a good feeling at first, but when we get to know the other better, things get complicated, things get worse, and problems start to set in. It’s really how one handles such problems, if we are to let it affect us either negatively like having to break up or positively like making us grow stronger. There will never be an instant way to find out that that person is the right one for us. And that is the risk of loving. Finding out if that person is the one for us doesn’t just grow overnight. It takes time, such a long time. To know that he is the one for us, we have to get through a lot of things first. We first have to encounter problems and complexities. It takes trust and a lot of understanding. And if we have struggled our way through all that, if a single mistake doesn’t make the feelings change, then MAYBE we can say that he is the one for us.

 

            When one gets hurt, all the love is replaced by pain and bitterness. There is really no one to blame for this. And if this happens, it doesn’t necessarily mean we didn’t love afterall. It ain’t right to say that it ain’t love at all. There is pain and bitterness for we have loved too much. Too much that it is hard for us to accept that he’s been gone. There is pain and bitterness because we are hurt realizing that all our efforts did not pay off.

 

            Letting go is a proof of our love because the happiness of the other means to us. Holding on and trying to save the relationship is a good try. But what’s the use of holding on, if the other has already given up? What’s the use of holding on if the other ain’t feeling the same no more? So if we truly love the other, we have to learn to let him go instead of forcing him to stay when he is not happy with us no more.

 

            Loving someone means having to love his flaws as well. We should never expect our love to be reciprocated all the time. For when we love someone, we have to love him unconditionally.  We have to love him for what he is and never try to change him for what we want him to be. It’s not really pretending that everything is fine. But it is our way of working out things. We just have to truly understand that no one could ever be so perfect. We bear the hardship his flaws bring rather than the hardship of losing him.

 

            No one could ever perfectly define what love truly is. It’s not just about caring for one person. It’s just not about understanding and trust. It’s not just about companionship or company. It’s far beyond than that and much more. It’s all about the decisions we make and never having to regret anything about it. It is such a profound word. We cannot really define it even though we think it is what we really feel. It is just so complex and always full of ironies. But I’m sure about one thing; it is such a great feeling. Who would ever disagree to that?

 

9 July 2002