My Final Growl
October 1999, the day I found out what my status in the university was. From the Math Faculty Room, I walked through the hallways of the 3rd floor of the main building. I stopped on Room 329 where the class had a presentation for English3. Unknowingly, tears were flowing down my eyes. I suddenly went back into my senses when my then classmates approached me, asking me if things were all good. I went on by assuring them that I was doing fine. I went back in class and tried to deliver my speech for English3. I went through the day pretending.
When I got home that night, I just couldn’t help myself but cry myself down to sleep. I was hoping that when I wake up, things have changed and that I was just dreaming. When I woke up the next day, things definitely changed. Yesterday changed me. It wasn’t a dream. Reality it was.
November 1999, classes resumed. It was going to be my last sem. I attended school and did everything to make me stay in the university. When things went clear and it seemed like there was really nothing I can do to change their minds, I was desperate. So far this has been the most difficult part of my life that I went through. I was beginning to lose my interest in school. The sem ended and I still flunked subjects.
I’ve realized it was my fault all along. I regret I still messed up on my last sem. It was my final growl and I should’ve done better and I should’ve proven myself to make them realize what they are just about to let go.
The day came when I finally had to say goodbye. The day I dreaded most. I bid my friends goodbye, the people I have been with for two years. Two years of struggles, regrets and ‘what might have been’s". And as I walked down the grand stairs, I looked into the future, the path where all this is leading to. I bid the university farewell, the university that changed me.