And immeadiatey i replied with a dramatic and loudly voice, " Yeah, innit"
Actually I made that all up [for the build up of dramatic tension]
I then go "yes u gave me an idea, which is good."
He then goes "yes."
So i decided to give some tips to all those good writer wannabeez cos u know u r a rite retard.
1) Verbs has to agree with their subjects
2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3) And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5) Avoid cliches like the plague. They are old hat.
6) And Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7) Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8) Parenthetical remarks (however relevent) are (usually) unnecessary.
9) Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
10) One should never generalise.
11) Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
13) The passive voice is to be avoided.
14) Eliminate commas, that are not necessarry.
15) Never use a big word when a dimulitive one will suffice.
16) Understatement is always the absolute best wat to put forth earthshaking ideas.
17) Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
18) Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emersion said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
19) Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailded.
20) Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatment.
21) Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
[Actually, that was a lie. I found it the other '17/06/00' day while looking through the Times and was actually written by a bloke named "John" I think.]
Hope the useful tips have helped. If u get your book published tell me immeadiately.