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MY EXCELLENT PAGE |
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By James W - Established Since April 2000 |
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www.jimbad.com |
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If u r a bit like this fella above, this page is 4 u!! |
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WELCOME TO AGONY UNCLE - THA CARING DIKHED |
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If u have been unforunate recently, then u r gutted. if u have any questions u would like to have answered by proffesionals then leave a message in the message board @ the home [press back] the question should be answered on this page ASAP [when i aint busy]. I will answered questions related to all topics [preferably your personal crisises] such as money probs or permanant cheesy nobs. remember tha jingle when u in trouble - ASK THE UNKLE. u luzar... |
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me |
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Hello A. Hipposnifer AKA Cyril Googleepetter [see msg 13 in msg board],
Thank U for being the 1st person to write in, your problem is very common. ppl usually avoid lookin @ the prices b4 actually purchasin tickets or even dodge train fares [like i once did b4 in St Albans [no joke!]. Try askin this bloke behind the window thing or the one where hes got a badge on him/her sayin "staff" or something familiar, he/she mite tell u the price.
hope this has helped and made your life easier. Love Uncle
PS- typhoid is nasty stuff |
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Dear Mr. Tibbles [msg no.14],
I hear U r actually dead, anyway i hope u will actally recieve this msg. Firstlee, eatin your grandmother is not murder, stabbing her with a knife is. and secondlee, i thought i was your only uncle? unless my missis has been up 2 summink... Any way, eatin susan is probably a bit too late. i dont actually have a solution 4 for your problem except tears!! [hahaha....dyin down]. Sorry it aint helped. Hate from uncle u dead piece of shit. |
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Dear Mizz Pumpiddlewoopsididdle [msg.15]
U r an idiot, do wot i do... leave a set of spare keys under your doormat and always put all the fish food in the fish bowl so it isnt necessary to put any more in for the rest of the month. Am i talkin sense or what. Alternativelee u could put a large chunk of beef in the bowl, it should eventually decay so u wont need to clean out the bowl. By the way, try climbin throgh the opened patio window. hope its helped u. love uncle. god bless. |
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Dear Dirty Mcsquirty [msg 16], u r so weird i will not reply to u [bastard] and also it fits nicely @ this area. |
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Dear Jesus [msg 17], although i may sound a bit blasamous a will go ahead and say it - arent u a vegetarian 4 god's sake |
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Dear Shy Pubes[msg 18], i suggest u 2 use masking tape. although u get bad results, it is painless. |
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Dear Fishy Bob [msg 20] is there a point of writing in. Now u will get bullied @ school. u turdfisher. your name is flourished wit tremendous irony. God bless your tired arse u total poncey bitch. plz dont complane and say that i am homophobik. |
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Dear Tim Tiddler, [msg 19]
thanks 4 that, now i will have to change my identity but i cant be arsed. Insted i will havce to kick your penis and lick your toenails. [no, i didnt understand that either] God bless your mum. |
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Hello an Hipposniffer, [msg no26], Hello paul, suggest u should shoot yourself in the head using a peashooter, after proceedin that u cannot die, therefore it is very safe. A bit too late now innit? @ the moment u r @ sports day u athletic barsed. Hope it has helped u marginally. |
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Dear Olga [msg no 23], so i here that u have the ocasionally sexual desire with certain furniture. Lets hope that tha table could get wood. hahaha. I shouldnt really be larfin. England beat germany yesterday [1-0] which is a bit of a disapointment 4 ya. Anyway, theres nothing wrong with shagging tables, i prefer televisions personally. Good luck with your hobbies, dont let any one stop ya. Can u plz send in a pic of youself shagging a table. thank. god bless your fanny. |
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