"Beware of sharply dressed men"

He never was the ladies' man. His approach to the opposite sex never quite worked. The "I wrote you something" line never worked because the girls didn't understand a word that came out of his mouth, which faced the floor and then ran off with the rest of the body. It was a time in his life when he was feeling down at the fact that he was still a virgin at the age of twenty. It wasn't because he chose to be one, but that fate did. He never came close to his goal, so this made matters worse.

He finally took the trip down to 82nd street after he found out where all the hookers were. They were inside the very building he passed every nigHe entered with fifty dollars in one hand and his coat in the other. He climbed the tall steep stairs until he reached a landing. There a colorfully dressed man asked him "What's your pleasure man?" At that question Cesar responded "A hooker." The man then asked "What kind of strumpet plays your trumpet?" Cesar didn't quite understand and this was evident to the sharply dressed man. He then asked "You know, what floats your boat? Your type of girl." Cesar didn't know what to ask for so he said "Anything you got." The man lead him to a door at the end of the hall and gave him the keys. The key chain had a box and rabbit's foot on it. The box held the condom and the rabbit's foot was for luck.ht from work. The door was always closed, but this night it was wide open.

He stuck the key in the door and turned the knob. He waited for a few minutes, and then she existed the bathroom. She was a coco brown delight. Her hair was in a slight Afro and her lips were full and crimson red. She told him "To hold on for the ride of his life and to fasten his seat belt for protection. She then danced for him like a stripper, and for the final act crawled toward him. He got ready, but she had to buckle his seat belt because his hands shook too much. The thought entered his head, besides the obvious, was that he got a non skanky hoe and she looked good. She then told him she was going to be right back. She had to use the bathroom and so he waited. He was on the stained mattress while other clients could be heard in the background.

She came back just as she left, in her thong and pumps. The lights were turned down as the sheets arose. She gracefully removed her thong to revile a twelve-inch shlong. He didn't find out until he felt something robbing on his right thigh. He jumped up and ran for the door. It was locked so he flipped on the lights and found his hermaphrodite standing next to the bed. He then ran to a corner asIt was time to schicobb the quivering client in the corner. He screamed, but no one came to his rescue. He held his hands up to his ears in hopes that he wouldn't be schicobbed. As he did this he recognized the hermaphrodite, but it was too late. The purchase attached a point to it's dick, which tore through poor Cesar's hands and head. He died instantly.

The cops didn't arrive to the crime scene until two days later. His family reported that he left on Sunday night for a walk and never came back. After talking to neighbors and friends the cops decided to check out 82nd street, but not because of what was said, but because they got a call that something was smelling funky.

They arrived to find the sharply dressed man in a wig and pumps. He tried to run, but fell down the stairs. The cops arrested him and questioned him on the whereabouts of the smell. He said "I don't know anything that smells except for the pigs in this room." One detective searched every room and found crime, but not what he was looking for. He noticed that in one of the rooms the closet was corked shut. He ordered a team to open it. When the door was popped open there was Cesar's body crunched over with his hands over his ears. It didn't take long for the cops to figure out what happened because the sharply dressed man was wearing the murder weapon and was in drag. As they looked further, they saw that he was a hermaphrodite and had Cesar's coat on. He was arrested with murder and carried away. Cesar's body was also carried away, but to a different place, the morgue.

Down at the station, the sharply dressed man confessed to the murder and told the cops this story: "He wanted something he never had before and didn't know what that was, so I took it upon myself to show him a good time. I let him have the keys to open the door and I knew it would take him awhile to open the door because it gets stuck. Meanwhile I entered through a secret door that leads to the bathroom and changed into my custom. I entered the room to find him. I didn't think he would notice until the end, but being well endowed gave me away. It's not always a good thing, you know. When he found out, he freaked and I didn't know what to do, so I impaled him with my dick. I'm sorry, but I don't like yelling." The cops then asked him if he had ever done this before and he said yes.

I guess the lesson is that if it's too good to be true, it is. And don't fiddle with complete strangers because that is just what they are. Beware of sharply dressed men/women!