I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now A small Dark Elf stared into the clear water of the stream as it trickled down the rocks. She stared yet did not see the reflection of herself. A small crystal tear fell from her icy blue eyes. She was deep in thought of something that had happened a long time ago� Or so it seemed long ago. Really it was only a few months back, but time seemed to slow after He left.
Sighing sadly, the elf pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and began to work on her song. She loved music and loved to sing. But it saddened her as well, for He had loved to hear her sing. In fact, he had just enjoyed listening to her voice. Shaking her head, she attempted to wipe Him from her memory as she wrote�
It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again
Thinking back to her younger days, she thought of how na�ve she had been. She took His love for granted� She took Him for granted. Their Love had gone for quite a long time, or so it seemed, until she had ravaged it. Becoming afraid of how rapidly she was falling for this High Elf, the little drow began to pull away from Him. Soon she was farther into her own world than she had ever been before, almost incapable of being reached. She had pushed Him away for the last time.
�Why are you doing this? What do I keep doing wrong?�
�You keep coming back!�
��I won�t come back this time� if that is what you wish.�
�Leave!�
Oh how she wished that she had just said those words one more time. Make Him believe that what they had was not in vain. But Fear kept her from showing it or saying it...
There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
You used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
Leaning back, the drow looked up into the cloudy gray sky. It reflected her emotions� or what was left of them. She had gone numb, void of emotion, shortly after He had gone. She felt as if a part of her had died along with Him as he walked away. She would not admit it then, but now she knew it to be true. She needed him. She cried endlessly for nights just wishing He were there to hold her�
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Remembering her sister, Neko, she was jealous of what Neko and Dzann, her lover, had. They had a pure Love. Strong and true. Things tried to break them apart but nothing had succeeded thus far. She knew that she could have had it with Him, but she grew scared of that foreign feeling. Love� She left it behind when she pushed Him away...
You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
Stifling a sob, she wiped her eyes attempting to keep the tears from falling. After all of the tears she had shed, she thought no more could come, but they always managed to find a way through. No matter how numb she felt herself to be, when she was alone at night, Pain found it�s way to her in the form of Him. With tear blurred vision, she continued to work on the lyrics to her song�.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Pain again. It hurt so badly. It felt like someone ripping her heart out, and each time it felt a little worse. Time could not heal all wounds, it only made them worse. She wanted to cry, to scream, but she could not find her voice as so many other times. The pain was always worst when she was alone, when she could think about Him, though she tried not to allow herself to.
�Zuna� please, come back to me��
She wanted him back�
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
Clenching her dark fists, she screamed into the clouded atmosphere before her. She had caused Him such pain! She remembered, as if it had been yesterday, the look upon His face. So sad and hurt� Full of the pain she experienced everyday. Then He turned away and left her. And she never heard from Him again. Never heard His beautiful voice, saw His cute face, felt His warm body. But she understood. Yes, she understood why He had to leave. What He had to do. She thanked Him silently every day for it, too. She was being punished for what she caused Him�
I never will forget that look upon
Your face
How you turned away and left
Without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you
Smiling softly to herself, tears falling silently down her cheeks, S`Rys rolled the parchment up and threw the quill down. She looked to her right and saw Him walking up the path to the stream. This was His favorite spot to come and think or just be alone if need be. She lay the parchment down gently, lovingly, on a nearby rock, gathered her things, and silently left the stream. She hoped He would know who it was from. She hoped he would know she was apologizing in her own way.
�Please hate me�� she whispered.
�Please do not forgive me��
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Making his way to the stream, the High Elf saw a rolled up parchment sitting on a rock. He took it carefully from its place and unrolled it. He read it through, then he read it again. Swallowing, he looked at the stormy gray ocean in the sky. Pain washed over his handsome features, hurt evident in his beautiful eyes, as he whispered,
�Punk� God, I love you, S`Rys��
~Owari~
2/12/2002
But I was scared and left it all behind