intimate.txt
  Warning: the "intimate" texts are the most raw.


Here it is, the 26th of June.
	Three whole weeks without an update due to weather and my always trying to
 get things to work like a meth-head.  I blame the time it takes the old machine to
 compile code.  Here are some items I ought'a jot down before I die... [few edits]


Good anime still running on adult swim:
	Ghost in the Shell: 2nd Gig
		- Semi-realistic vision of the future.  We do run the risk of
		the U.S. becoming an imperialist nation with the way our presidents
		are starting to act like kings.  Cybernetics and human-like A.I.s.
	InuYasha
		- Shards of a powerful jewel are scattered all over, wanted by evil
		forces in an ancient time.  A dog-hybrid (title character), a
		fox-hybrid, man with a black hole in his hand, Songo, and Kagome,
		the girl from the present have to retrieve them first, encountering
		friends, foes...and the just plain annoying.

Loose ends:
 Whatever happened to that girl with the tongue ring?
	In high school she gave me her phone number, but when I called and she
wasn't home (and I knew she was away for a week or so), I used the modem...dial-up
only, no microphone.  They called the police and I couldn't use the number again.
I only saw her once a couple of years later -- a smile and a wave.
 The subtle perversion that is my existence.

 Whatever happened to that boy that was looking to play tennis with me -- oh, yeah
-- I didn't want to.  The end.  Pussification/Wussification of America, both ways.


Dead ends:
 My father's side of the family.  The step-mother, the half-sister.
 Silly me.  I'd rather make new family then see the existing members...it turns out
someone in the family is a psychotic liar (has been lying with a straight face).  At
least I'm not capable of that -- I make a little "playful" grin when I lie 'cause the
only way the expression'd work is if it were a joke.


WTF ends:
 I'm f**king up od28-6 for v0.5 by attempting to move away from mycseries in one fell
swoop -- one of the factors in bad response time.  I finished v0.4.5a4 six days ago.
6.27 Update: starting over, least-- slash that, *less* C-src mods.
 I'm also now back on finishing the Marathon scenario, Total Convergence, pulling ancient
unfinished/broken maps, including one from 2001.09.24.  Go away now.

Y'all come back now, ya'hear.


 What looks like Florence+The Machine - only slightly better written than my work in song
writing.  (I suck.)

7.29
 It's not cynical to say most Americans are ignorant.
Get angry and/or complacent... prove me right.

 If you couldn't tell, for most of the month, and eventually again, the back-lighting for
the monitor refused to start up.  I had to use lamps, flashlights for front-lighting.

7.31
 Failure to get ISP access for the fourth day in a row caught up with work.
 I know "Louie" is supposed to be entertainment, but Louis C.K. is really successful.  He
doesn't have "failings" when at least there's actual human contact!  And I don't hate
it--I'm used to being the actual failure, the one without a life, the one that has no
reason to complain but will die here emotionally alone anyway 'cause I can't do a goddamn
thing about it.  Even though my life isn't regarded as being one of the worst, the limbo
makes me beg to differ.
 The worst thing about all of this is that this sick, tired and horrible world won't even
know any of this unless I make it known on fucking Facebook or twitter!!!!  There is no
real "social" in social media -- the artificial nonsense that's supposed to "help" can
*only* further damage the construct of human emotion and interaction.  And once again,
the texts here are not product...although, I admit, they may be reflected, used in
product.
 I am a human being, not some sound bite--it's not up to me to say the spiteful audiences
are going to hell for allowing the destruction of character to go on.  DON'T DRAG ME DOWN
WITH YOU you contemptible, disgusting, hollow people.  It is not up to me to tell you any
of this.  And don't worry about me carrying out violence--I won't, can't.  It sickens me
to say I know how much even death around society does nothing.  Now the Norway attacks,
and people are more closed off from reality than ever.  *Dead* asleep.

2:47PM
 You know when they acknowledge their misleading ways when they make excuses for it.
Everyone has the potential to do good, but good requires taking as many opportunities as
possible to truly understand something, and to make sure you know what genuine is for
yourself and others.  Intention has to be met with results in spite of the blind.  The
blind get used the most.
 But do they ever know that growth comes from rising above zero sum games?  And the path
of least resistance (a.k.a. the order of the multiverse) ignores things volatile again.

So maybe od28-6 isn't effed up after all.