revenge

�� REVENGE STORY

�� For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need�

�� to take it out on someone!!!� Don't take that bad day out on someone you�

�� know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!�

�� Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I

�� had to make.� I found the number and dialled it.�

�� A man answered nicely saying, "Hello"�

�� I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to�

�� Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!� I couldn't�

�� believe that anyone could be that rude.�

�� I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.� She had�

�� transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted�

�� the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.�

�� When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a tosser!" and�

�� hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "tosser" and put it�

�� in my desk drawer.�

�� Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day,�

�� I'd call him up.� He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a tosser!"� It would �

�� always cheer me up.�

�� Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a�

�� real disappointment for me, as I would have to stop calling the tosser.�

�� Then one day I had an idea. I dialled his number, then heard his voice,�

�� "Hello"; I made up a name, "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone�

�� company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID�

�� program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called�

�� him back and said, "That's because you're a tosser!"�

�� The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if�

�� there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about�

�� it. Just dial 823-4863.�

�� Keep reading, it gets better!�

�� An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of�

�� the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally,�

�� her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I�

�� backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I�

�� thought, she's finally leaving.�

�� All of a sudden this black BMW come flying up the parking isle in the�

�� wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started�

�� yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!"� The guy climbed out

�� of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward�

�� the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself,�

�� this guy's a tosser, there sure is a lot of tossers in this world.�

�� I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I�

�� wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

�� A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just got�

�� off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're tosser!" (It's�

�� really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)�

�� When, I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW lying

�� on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.�

�� After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "{Hello." I�

�� said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."

�� "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th�

�� street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."�

�� I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen."�

�� "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"�

�� "I'm home in the evenings."�

�� "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"�

�� "Yes,"�

�� "Don, you're a tosser!" And I slammed the phone down.�

�� After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialler.�

�� For a while things seemed to be going better for me.� Now when I had a�

�� problem I had two tossers to call. Then, after several months of calling�

�� the tossers and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it�

�� used to be.�

�� I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:�

�� First, I had my phone dial tosser #1.� A man answered nicely saying,�

�� "Hello." I yelled "You're a tosser!", but I didn't hang up.�

�� The tosser said, 'Are you still there?"�

�� I said,"Yeah."�

�� He said, "Stop calling me."�

�� I said, "No."�

�� He said, "What's your name, Pal?"�

�� I said, "Don Hansen."�

�� He said "Where do you live?"�

�� "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked�

�� out� front."�

�� "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."�

�� "Yeah, like I'm really scared, tosser!" and I hung up.�

�� Then I called tosser #2.� He answered, "Hello."�

�� I said, "Hello, tosser!"�

�� He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."�

�� "You'll what?"�

�� " I'll kick your arse."�

�� "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, tosser!"�

�� And I hung up.�

�� Then I picked up the phone and called the police.�

�� I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill

�� my gay lover as soon as I got home.�

�� Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on�

�� W.34th Street.�

�� After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to�

�� watch� the whole thing.�

�� Glorious!�

�� Watching two tossers kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6�

�� squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of�

�� my life!

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