A primarily obese 'Yo!' to you primarily obese cretins!

My name is "The Classification Of Class" Clancy "The Renaissance Man" Mc "The Philanthropist" Clean, "Wealth Personified".  I'm everything you could ever want in life, wrapped in luxurious Mediterranean skin.  I personify everything that is good with the world.  I'm proof that God exists (and is one of my bigger fans) and that Satan is nothing more than a figment of what imaginations you think you've got.  I'm better than you at everything I tip my hat in.  And let's just say that I've got a pretty moist hat.  Anyway, you've heard the rumours for months.  You've ruined perfectly good pairs of pants just trying to fathom what might be coming in this, the sixteenth edition of 'the' column, and you can bet it's gonna be 'sweet'...

...And I can't blame you people one bit.  I'd do the exact same thing...  If I had a little less hair, a little more belly, ten more kids, a mortgage forever gnawing at my misters and whatever else it is that makes you people the way you are.  You won't understand what follows.  You'll want to go back to your re-run Chris Cairns Shows and your Rose Gardens, but I take great pride in telling you that you're already in far too deep.  The only way out is through, barbarians.  It'll be a tight squeeze, but let's give it the old 'Ivy League' try, shall we?

Join me: losers, nobodies, geeks, nerds, wives, husbands, kids, dogs, parasites, petty criminals, hicks, stains, morons, goldfish - Whoever.  Names (except my own - Clancy McClean) are unimportant from now on.  Just join me, as I get down to business...

...Just Business, that is!!!

You heard it true, today is that most glorious of days for your everyday Great Samaritan (such as myself) - Roster Evaluations.  I've taken the liberty of spelling out exactly and precisely my grading system that I've so masterfully implemented into this showcase of incredible (uh...) greatness.  Read on - if you can, of course.  Soon available (at all good Just Business on tape stores): "Just Business 16: Roster Evaluations 2 - ON TAPE~!"  You can wait, right?

'A+' = Workrate, mic work, ring psychology and charisma are exceptional. The closest thing to Michael Irons in this day and age.

'A' = Excels in all of the "key areas" explained above.

'B, B+, A-' = Upper midcard wrestler who needs a little work in some areas in order to improve.

'C, C+, B-' = Midcarder who has not yet reached his potential or has peaked and is journeying ignorantly down a slippery slope into irrelevance.  They might be unable to improve on some areas due to their size and/or natural talent.  Or lack thereof.

'D+, C-' = Nearly unwatchable.

'D' or lower = I'd rather read to the blind. 

'F' = So bad that I’d rather massage Maxx Pain's feet. 

'NG' = Why should I bother if they don't?

Understand?  No?  Oh well...  A new feature this time around is Clancy's Then & Now bonanza.  Basically, "Then" refers to my original Roster Evaluations, Just Business 12, and "Now" refers to - well - you're an idiot.

Bane, in spite of his runner-up of an uncle, is the man most likely to step up and challenge Lord John Taylor in any long-term situation.  He was this ( ) close to going head to head with Pimp Bizkit after Fallout: Destiny Fulfilled, but a particularly pushy Taylor managed to wriggle his way into that spot before The God Of Pain got the chance.  We were all ready for a round or two of Bane/Pimp once Taylor and Pimp had finished at Against The Odds.  Sadly, Pimp went and retired before Bane could ever get his big comedic hands on him.  Bane, in my expert opinion, is the long-term contender to Taylor's crown - barring a Monarch return, of hintin' course - but fate has once again conspired against the former Creation Wrestling Extreme Champion, in the shape of James "I Will Kill You" Tanner.  Poor Bane.  Perhaps he can make short work of Tanner before what chances he might have at the top title are well and truly desecrated.  It's only fair to give the Banester an 'A-' (and a personal invitation to the exclusive Clancy's Clients Club in downtown Atlanta) until we finally see what he's made of.  Provided Tanner doesn't actually kill him, that is...  [Then: 'C+' | Now: 'A-']

William Black.  Fussy, arrogant and, uh...  A sharp dresser?  Is that all the company got when they picked up this former BMWF competitor?  It's hard to tell just yet, but the immaculate McCleaninator would be leaning in the 'yes' direction.  Really, what's up with this guy?  Compare him to his 'rival', Vernon Vanderbilt for a second...  They signed with the company soon after the closure of their former employer, but that's where the similarities end.  Vernon, in mere weeks, was a hair's breath away from winning the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship on his first Pay-Per-View appearance, not to mention his upcoming World Heavyweight title match.  Looking back at Black leaves a gritty aftertaste, duzzinit?  Yeah, it does.  What I see in Mr. Black is misused potential.  If this guy would quit fussing over his TV appearances down to the crease of his suits and just learn to go with the flow, such as how his pal Vernon has done, then he'd be making things a lot easier for himself.  Until he does, nothing suits him better than a 'D+'.  Just for the affect of getting him riled up, of course...  [Then: N/A | Now: 'D+']

My man Eclipse has really come on by leaps and bounds since his return late last year.  Emotionally, at least.  This is a man that for what, two years, was blamed wrongfully for plotting to murder "Old" Dameon Fiery.  His forcing Hades Fiery to 'fess up recently was some great TV, as were his most recent couple of promos...  With that said, we're not seeing nearly enough of this should-be Champion.  Not nearly.  Can we blame Eclipse?  Yes and no.  The easy answer is to just ignore that completely and blame life and what it's done to him.  The poor guy's a talented wrestler, but he doesn't appear to be the most cheerful chap in the GZW these days.  Clancy's advice?  Ditch the blue-haired devil, and fast.  Have your last match with him if you really need to, but then move on.  You keep living in the past and not looking ahead, then Hades will win, regardless of the match's outcome.  Get it together.  Initiate a title hunt and get moving.  It pains me to give you a 'B', Clive, but I wouldn't be the Renaissance Man that I am if I weren't totally fair and impartial.  Listen to my words of wisdom, Eclipse.  The opportunities are just waiting for you... [Then: 'B' | Now: 'B']

Jay Jameson personifies everything that's right with a true up-and-comer, and for that reason he majestically swoops in and scores a big fat 'A-'.  Why not an 'A' or 'A+', some idiot somewhere is probably asking some idiot beside him?  Simply for the fact that I'm not a biased man.  Thus far, you people have barely seen the tip of the James L. Jameson iceberg.  You've seen him topple greats like Reject and go toe to toe with World Heavyweight Champions, not to mention his recent star performance at Fallout: Against The Odds and his snagging of the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship...  But is there room for improvement?  No, I wouldn't put it quite like that...  There's room for growth.  Right now, as a youngster racing his way up the card, he's doing the best possible job he can.  However, it'd be just plain silly of me to give him an 'A+' at this stage.  He is the cream of his crop right now, but said crop's upward limit, in my book, is an 'A-'.  D'ya get me?  No?  Put it this way, then: Next time CMC's Roster Evaluations roll around, you'll find a well-deserved 'A+' in this spot.  It's all about progression, folks.  Remember that.  I know Jay will... [Then: 'C' | Now: 'A-']

Last year, Kid Kaos was all the rage.  He was (okay, by default) the top (and only) 'ace' in the company...  He wrestled more than a handful of top-quality matches and was even in contention for Lord John Taylor's World Heavyweight Championship.  This year, on paper, he's outdone himself - two United States Heavyweight title runs in the space of a few months is impressive.  But there's something about him...  He doesn't seem to be 'all' there these days.  Sure, the fans still cheer the kid on like nobody's business, but it's almost as though his heart's not in it.  His loss to The Root at Against The Odds was a hard blow, no doubt.  How he reacts to it will tell quite a story and, dare I say, make or break him.  You can only be Still Rizin' for so long before people still asking questions.  Here's a question: How'd you like an 'A+'?  A lot, I'd say...  THEN SHOW ME!!!  C'mon, Kid!  Wake up, get it back together...  Jesus Christ.  Enjoy your 'B' but remember that you can do much better... [Then: 'B+' | Now: 'B']

Jon Kellar came into GroundZero Wrestling 2K1 this year playing all the right cards.  Not a month in and he'd already won the Extreme Heavyweight Championship.  He had the no-nonsense attitude of a young Union Jack, combined with a hunger to prove himself and that bold 'X' factor that sets champions apart from mere title-holders...  He dominated GZW TV in his first couple of weeks and quickly made himself as a force to be both reckoned with and respected.  Sadly, now that his 'newcomer' glow has begun to wear off, we're beginning to see that he's not quite 'perfect'.  He's just like you people.  He's got his strong points, he's got his weak points.  All he needs to do is to accentuate said strong points and pack away the weak ones.  Right now he's on autopilot.  The next few months will tell quite a story.  He can either take off at terminal velocity and fly right up to the top, or be dumb enough to press the 'eject' button mid-flight.  What'll it be, Kellar?  Will an enviable 'B+' do anything to sway your decision?  It should do... [Then: N/A | Now: 'B+']

Kid X.  Really.  What the hell is this guy doing?  He goes from nobody to nobody in Syndicate Zero and right back to plain nobody.  When's the last time "The Blandest Of All Time" even had a match?  Battle Royale at Against The Odds?  Dark match with Terry Pattern on Throwdown sometime in 2004?  Who cares?  Until I see something...  Anything...  From this kid, he'll get a vague 'NG'.  Enjoy it - you've certainly earned it, 'X'.  [Then: 'D' | Now: 'NG']

Karl Marx entered the company rather (un)memorably some time in the last three months - it was that uneventful that I can't even put a date on it - with a post-match attack on "The Dark Angel" Seven.  To that decision on Marx's part, I've got three strong words: "Good move, fuckhead".  Seriously, you're trying to make some sort of impact?  Since when is Seven worth wasting a debut on?  Through nobody's fault but his own, Marx was categorised with the Seven's, the Tanner's and the Cairns' straight away.  He even had that silly hit list and everything...  Oh well.  Let's see, now.  He's young.  He's stupid.  He's not afraid of hideously mangling his body in the name of entertainment.  My analysis?  Future mainstay of the Extreme Heavyweight Division!  Perhaps some seasoning alongside the 'finer' crops such as Sharpe and Kellar will build this guy up and get him some worthwhile recognition, but right now he's stuck in 'D's-ville.  Are Sharpe and Kellar really crops? [Then: N/A | Now: 'D']

Monarch?  Yes, James Corbin is still on the active roster, ladies and gentlemen.  The Wrestling Franchise has the company in such a position that he can do what he bloody well likes, and he seems to be loving it.  The former CCW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion, despite not having wrestled an official match thus far this year, remains a threat to any title-holder.  Very slight tension between he and our United States Heavyweight Champion, The Root, has been evident for a while now.  Should Ma'at be watching his back?  Well, he could, but chances are that - when he's good and ready - Monarch'll come at him from the front.  Corbin also clearly has some unfinished business with our new World Heavyweight Champion, Lord John Taylor...  Real Wrestling's last match, in December of 2004, saw him suffer a shady defeat to The Lone Gunman, and the last challenge he made before going on something of a sabbatical was one to then-champion Taylor for the top strap.  Now that Lord Taylor has the belt back, will he accept?  Who knows.  The point I'm trying to make here is that Monarch is invaluable to the company.  He has it in him to make (or break) anybody on the roster.  For that reason, it simply wouldn't be McClean of me to grade him, per se.  He's exempt.  The second he decides to get back in the game, be it for one match or one year, you morons better believe that he'll be at 'A+' level.  In the meantime, look up the word 'believe' in the dictionary... [Then: 'B+' | Now: 'NG']

Jonny Odel is interesting.  Ignoring for just a second his verbal inactivity, this guy has the potential to be a real big deal down the line.  He's got the much sought-after 'package' that sorts winners from losers and generally good people from generally fat, stupid and ugly people...  But does he realise it?  Judging by his nickname - Yes.  Does he know how to use it to the best of it's potential?  No.  Not at all.  The few times that we've seen Odel on GZW TV, he's proved to be exciting, fresh and substantial.  Rumours, however, have the C-Man thinking twice about the future of "The Fabulous One" and his loyalty to the company.  In a recent interview (elsewhere, of course) he was alleged to have referred to this great company as a "mere pit stop" in his career...  I, for one, hope that's not true.  This kid has it in him to go far, he just has to prove that he's committed.  Until then, he gets an admirable 'C+'...  Come on, Jonny - Make something of yourself! [Then: N/A | Now: 'C+']

Let's talk about Cambridge's finest export since - well, uh...  I'll try that again.  Let's talk about Quake, shall we?  Jay Jameson's best pal and a good friend of mine, the Quake One was built to one day become a GZW2K1 World Heavyweight Champion.  And he knows it.  He's strong on the mic, strong in the ring, and has the damn shiniest head this humble reporter has ever seen...  And I've been at a LOT of board meetings, folks.  That thing's impressive.  Perhaps the most notable aspect to the complex and intriguing character that is The Quake One is his discipline.  This is a guy who has been at the top of every promotion he's ever stepped foot in, bar GZW (so far), of course, yet happy to battle it out in the undercard for his freshly-won W.C.E.K. Television Championship.  That's a sign of a worthwhile worker right there.  This man will reach the top, and he knows it.  Right now he's just playing it cool.  In accordance with that, he gets a cool 'B+' in my book.  [Then: N/A | Now: 'B+']

The Root, our new United States Heavyweight Champion, is one of the best things to happen to this company since the restart.  Sure, he doesn't know what he's talking about trashing our homeland like that, but this kid can work.  He could draw heat from an iced tea, and that's what this company needs right now.  With the gradual retirement of several of this company's key stars since the Restart (and the unfortunate prospect of seeing either Pimp or Taylor going this coming week), there are openings up there for guys like Amun M'aat.  He's a smart kid.  He sees that.  Long term, this guy has it in him to be a main eventer.  In my opinion, he'll be a hot favourite for both my Neophyte Of The Year and the Lord Of The Coliseum tournaments still to come this year...  As long as he doesn't burn himself out (or blow himself up), the GZW will be his for the taking before too long.  Just work on the whole 'beliefs' thing, 'kay?  Today, he's just broken through to 'A-' level, but I have no reason to believe he'll stop there... [Then: N/A | Now: 'A-']

Shane Ryder...  What's the deal?  Another good guy - great.  Another face-painted good guy - not exactly great, but bearable.  Another face-painted good guy that doesn't bother his ass to carry his weight in terms of promotional appearances?  Unforgivable.  If he is to make any sort of showing in his impending battle with The Root, Ryder needs to pick up his game and pick it up fast.  Rumours of Ryder's whereabouts have been running rampant as of late, the most prominent being that "The Black Rose" has turned his back on the wrestling business to move into a career of botany (apparently the Rose Garden is more than just an inconsistent column...)  Whatever the case, he's got a match this coming week on Crimson and he better get his tea and crumpets together before then.  Going on some solid, if a little 'average' performances over the last couple of months, it's only fair to give the guy a 'C+'.  Wakey wakey, Shane - You can do better than this.  I hope...  [Then: N/A | Now: 'C+']

Seven, over the past few months, has become something of a phenomenon within the GZW2K1.  Not because of the lucky W.C.E.K. Television Title run (and the series of 'lucky' defences) or even for the killing of "Gzw's Greatest Production", but for the admiration for his seemingly bottomless pit of one-liners.  The man is a comic genius awkwardly hidden behind thick, globby layers of make-up and hair dye.  His little eccentricities and habits make for some entertaining TV, really.  Sadly, he got absolutely trounced by Quake at Against The Odds, not to mention he made the stupid move of eliminating himself from his Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship battle royal in some sort of watered-down John Taylor imitation...  From here, it's hard to say where Seven'll end up.  Right now, he's out on his ass.  Can he tame his 'risqué' 'tude and short temper enough to dust himself off and get back in the game?  A 'C+' should get his ass in gear, for better or for worse...  [Then: 'C+' | Now: 'C+']

Is it fair of me to consider Sincere an active member of the roster right now?  No.  The same can be said for his Usher Of Destruction, Gabriel.  The two that tormented Lord John Taylor for months on end seem to have taken a well-earned sabbatical as of late, and as such I'll give them a respectful 'NG'...  Their job isn't done, but there's no harm in taking some time off.  For all intents and purposes, their contribution to the company is incomplete as of yet.  But I have faith in the Mastermind of Pyschologic- Eh, Sincere.  He'll come around.  He always does, right when we need him the most.  And seeing more of Gabe won't be a bad thing at all.  Deferred gratification, I guess.

James Tanner just can't seem to get a break these days...  He's got Devotion Profit on his case 24/7, a lack of TV time and all that personal stuff as well...  Yikes.  I don't envy the poor bastard, that's all I'll say.  Actually, I'll say some more.  On recognition and experience alone (and against my better judgement) I'll give him a 'C+'...  Can he do better?  I should hope so...  This is a guy who's apparently a 'Shoe-in for the Ring Of Honor'.  If that's what's what, then I would encourage the "Desecrator" to get his underachieving ass in gear!  Start working on that resume, James.  Chase titles, rivals, big matches - Whatever it takes!  Train yourself and train yourself hard and maybe you'll be able to put in some sort of performance in my Neophyte Of The Year tournament.  It worked for Electric Sharpe, it'll probably work for you... [Then: 'C+' | Now: 'C+']

Lord John Taylor should get down on his hands and knees and kiss the feet of whoever it was that invented time.  If this magnificent showcase of writing and journalistic talent were to take place any time - other than now - between the last Roster Evaluations and now, he'd be nowhere near the 'A' that I'm now - out of courtesy - giving him.  We saw our Lord go from CCW Unified Heavyweight Champion to suffering embarrassing losses at the hands of Seven and company.  Right now, though, he's on form.  And, now that we're no longer graced by Pimp Bizkit's presence, he is 'the' bona fide main eventer around here.  Add to that his second reign as World Heavyweight Champion and Taylor is among the best we've got.  He - along with Pimp, now in fairness - has been invaluable over the last year.  His 'A' is well-deserved, yes, but I'd be short-sighted to say that he can't get better - He can.  However, with Pimp and all experienced rivals out of the picture, will our 'Lord' get lazy?  Only 'time' will tell... [Then: 'A' | Now: 'A']

Phillip Tytan, the Heretic Punisher, might just find himself moving up a couple of notches over the coming weeks and months.  With Pimp and Sharpe out (and Kellar in) there is something of a gap or an inconsistency in the Heretic camp.  From here, it's impossible to tell where the big man will go.  I don't expect it to be very far, either way.  A bald-on-bald W.C.E.K. TV title feud with Quake isn't out of the question...  Assuming Tytan wants that.  Tytan, over the past few months, has done quite a lot.  He's been a key supporting character in the soap opera that isn't really GZW2K1.  His wars with Kid Kaos and Bane over the U.S. Heavyweight Title did all involved a world of good.  Basically, Tytan is free to do what he wants.  For that reason, he gets a 'B', a grade up from last time around.  [Then: 'B-' | Now: 'B']

Vernon Vanderbilt, artsy-fartsy chump that he is, has proved himself over the last few months as a worthwhile addition to the company, and one which I take full credit for.  If it wasn't for my brash innovations as Director Of New Media, an artist like Vanderbilt wouldn't have dropped his lipstick long enough to even give you people - or this company - a second glance.  The crumbling of the BMWF, in my book, was a blessing in disguise for this guy.  It took the implosion of a company that had for too long built him up as "Mr. Showtime" - conveniently blurring his view of rival promotions all the while - to bring Vernon to the realisation that it was time to move on.  The GZW2K1 and it's war with Parents Against GZW2K1 (an organisation whom, I might add, were happy to lend a helping hand to the C-Man in his times of need some years ago) is the perfect stage for Vernon to hone his skills and become all he can be.  Right now, and because I'm generous, I'll throw him a healthy 'B'.  He's a newcomer - one of the most promising of the lot, in fact - and the road ahead of him has been freshly and specifically paved.  Don't look back, son, whatever you do... [Then: N/A | Now: 'B']

Vyle is a tough one.  Here is a guy that - once a fortnight - wrestles some of the more impressive matches on Crimson, racks up major wins over Paul Spartan and Tommy Casper...  All good so far.  But then - SHOCK HORROR!  He's death incarnate.  Or wait, was that last week?  It's hard to keep up...  Anyway, a couple of destroyed cities and overcome demons later, "The Man With No Nickname" decides it's in his best interest to just take a little break.  It's not easy being the grim reaper, I'm sure.  Must be tough on the shoulder carrying that scythe everywhere...  Anyway, I digress.  Vyle, in all seriousness, is a very valuable asset to this company.  The fact that his former QVC ally Quake has in the last few months made a nice home for himself here has many rumour mills churning in the direction of a big QVC reunion somewhere down the line.  Although, I'm sure that'll be Q&J(&CMC)VC, provided the Vylester (does that even work?) gets his act together sooner rather than later...  He wouldn't want his nWo alumni surpassing him, would he?  Vyle, there's a 'B+' waiting for you.  Come back and mould it into an 'A', like a good chap. [Then: 'B' | 'B+']

Jimmy Williams returned from a 'promotional tour of Hollywood' lately.  We're told.  As a Clancy-Of-All-Trades, I have my doubts.  I see a lot of movies.  I associate with a lot of worthwhile Hollywood types...  As a journalist, I feel obliged to tell you people what you're too eating to realise for yourselves - The Real Deal's name never came up.  Not once.  Not in passing conversation.  Not in commendation.  Not even in criticism.  Now, that means one of two things - Either "The 2x Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion" as an actor is a total farce, or (my personal favourite) - His acting skills are on par with his charisma and 'it' factor in the world of wrestling...  It's hard to say.  I did hear good things about an adult actor using the stage name 'Big C', though.  What was the name of that movie, again?  Uh...  Hidden Des- No.  Passions of- No.  This'll bug me for ever...  Actually, wait.  "Down South Flava", it was called.  Starring a mysterious "Big C".  It's a must watch, actually.  As for Jimmy and his grade?  The fact that his big words at Against The Odds fell flat has me leaning towards a 'Big' 'C' this time around... [Then: 'C+' | Now: 'C']

Overall, I look and I see a far tighter (if more compact), all around more solid roster than that of four months ago.  In my book, there's easily seven or eight guys that could legitimately have at the main event of any given show at any given time and make it worthwhile...  Soon enough.  The gradual weeding out of dead weight and the introduction of several key newcomers over the last few months, combined of course with the coming-of-age of several of those already on the roster means GZW2K1 is in as good shape as it ever has been.  Over the next quarter, I have no doubts that we will see another handful of competitors make the big jump into the upper card as another handful are prepped and harvested for a similar destiny.  It's one big, healthy machine that's showing no ill signs of wear or tear, and that's always a good thing.

The fact that, in my flawless opinion, we've only got one active 'A' standard competitor - in our World Heavyweight Champion, Lord John Taylor - you should notice the abundance of those at 'A-' or 'B+' level.  The fact that Paul Spartan, James "Monarch" Corbin and Pimp Bizkit have all dropped off the radar in terms of active participation is not exactly damaging to the face of the upper card.  We've got Sincere just waiting for the right time to leap in at Taylor, which is a guaranteed money match or feud, whenever it may happen.  Looking at Bane, The Root and Jay Jameson...  Before too long (and provided they maintain/pick up their work rates) they'll be in contention for the World Heavyweight Strap.  I'm also looking for a big push for my man Eclipse over the next few months, and in my opinion it's only fair that he gets the chance to show what he can do nearer the top.  Rock-solid newcomers Quake, Kellar and Vanderbilt, the way I see it, will be key figures in the coming year.

Elsewhere on the card, things are wide open.  With a tight roster of (give or take) twenty competitors, the five title belts would ideally be divided up into small divisions of about four contenders.  But that's for another day and another Just Business.  Let's just say, the whole title situation right now is ideal for the company's current image.  New blood, new ideas and new champions.  It's fantastic.  However, I couldn't live with myself closing off the actual 'evaluations' with Jimmy Williams and his snuff movie escapades, so it'll be my pleasure to move on and give credit where it's due elsewhere...

Drum roll, please...

There is a man that has been with this company since the days of the eWo.  He battled with, against, cowered from and chased down the best there's ever been.  He was a prankster at the best of times.  He liked to have fun.  He liked women.  He liked himself.  He liked a lot of things, actually, but none of that really matters.  I'm talking about the most dominant Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion (aside from Jay Jameson, of course) in GZW2K1 history...  I'm talking about a man who has made a career out of being the slimiest, most obnoxious prat on Television and loved every minute of it.  Two time World Heavyweight Champion - Pimp Bizkit.  The last remaining light from the true old guard generation, this man was equally (if not more) important to the success of the 2004 restart as John Taylor was.  This man never missed a match he was ever booked for.  He was a hard-worker (and a personal associate of mine), and it's sad to see him go so early.  Living Legend, Clancy McClean salutes you and thanks you from the bottom of his bottomless heart for your contribution to the sport over the past four or five years.  Overall, an 'A+' is an order.  His getting the last 'laugh' on Lord Taylor last Sunday night was the perfect way to round out a successful career.  And...

...That's nice Clancy done.  Another key component of the GZW machine, as unibrowed as he is, is Chris Cairns.  The man that stole my blueprints for the Clancy McClean show right from under me heading into Aftermath 2K4 and the only other non-wrestler to be crowned GZW2K1 Wrestler Of The Month (apart from myself, obviously) has been pretty good this year.  I guess he's alright to have around, y'know?  Uhm...  Forget it - 'F'~!!!!

Credit is also due to three of the GZW usuals that don't get it nearly enough.  I'm talking the three men that show up week in and week out, never failing to miss a show.  Great mic skills...  Great one-liners...  Great Joshua Sam-  I mean, who could they be other than "Iggy And The" GZW2K1 Announce Team.  Joshua Samson, Todd Crumb and Patrick Nelson - Take a bow, gentlemen.  Except Crumb, actually.  You take my order of a large pizza with caviar on top and get it back to me in thirty minutes or less.  A fine performance all year round, gents.  Keep it up.  'A+', without a doubt.  Joshua, we'll talk about golf and cigars during the week...

Phew.  Sigh of exhaustion.  Boy, did that take a lot out of me?  No, not really.  In truth, I never lifted a finger.  I've got a thousand worker ants hooked up to a giant supercomputer hanging onto my every word and processing it with military precision.  It's a good system, folks.  You can't go wrong with it, actually.  Alas: This is the end, my not-so-beautiful friends.  You'll see me soon, when you least suspect it.  It might be in the next, pristine edition of Just Business.  It might be on your TV screens.  It might be at your front door, ladies and whomever else.  As the old adage goes, "you'll have to wait and see..."

Until then, take it easy - you warm cups of tobacco-chewers' spit.

Clancy McClean