Put-Downs
Flash Button
You know, you could have been prevented for a quarter.
He says he lives by his wits. He's half right....
"We've been friends for a very long time, what say you we call it quits?"
The wheel is still spinning, but the hamster is dead...
Wehn God was giving out brains you thought he said 'trains' and you missed yours.
You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date!
While he is not dumber than an ox, he's not appreciably smarter either.
You have the people skills of a belt sander!
She couldn't find a birthday card in a Hallmark store.
Here's a quarter, call somebody who cares.
You may have a point there, but if you part your hair different, no one would see.
His elevator doesn't go to the top.
If my dog looked as ugly as you, I'd shave it's butt & teach it to walk backwards!
May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful.
You're a few Bradys short of a bunch>
I think, therefore, I am...not relater to you.
A few sandwiches short of a picnic, aren't we?
Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege.
If your head were and harder, you could cut glass with it.
He's as sharp as a beach ball.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.
Don't go away mad, just go away!
Not the brightest crayon in the box, now ar we?
We're having creative differences. I'm creative, you're different.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the JuneFlower.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
Hey, you've got something ugly on your shoulders.
Brains by Mattel
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
He's about as exciting as my wall.
The butter slipped off her noodle.
She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
That woman would bore a statue.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're a jerk.
You're more unprepared than a vegetarian at a state barbecue
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
You may already be a wiener!
He's not playing with a full deck, and the cards he does have are rather shuffled!
He's a quart low and still dripping.
Her best friend once sent her a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said: Wish you were here.
People would follow him anywher, but only out of morbid curiosity.
Now THERE'S a guy who's reached his full potentioal.
You're about as slow as a turtle crawling through peanut butter.
You give superficial a bad name.-Byron Alley
The butter slid off her knife.
When he came to the fountain of knowledge, he merely gargled.
I'd like to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my ass.
You're about as bright as a burned out light bulb in a dark room.
It's hard to believe you out-swam a million other sperm.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
She has Van Gogh's ear for music.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
Her face was her chaperone.
If I was 10 times smarter than you, I'd be a moron!
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.
He gave her a piece of his mind, and couldn't get by on what was left.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
A chat with you, and death loses its sting!
You're about as much fun as chewing burlap on a muggy day.
We've Upped our quality, so Up Yours!
Why are you here, and what can I do to change that?
Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?
All foam, no beer.
Just because your head is pointed doesn't mean you're sharp.
Hey, I don't know if you're aware but, there are tese two things you can put together and use everyday to make people around you smile...they're called, SOAP AND WATER!
She's a few fries short of a happy meal.I would engage you in a battle of wits but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person.
You're not getting old; you're getting...well, at least, I don't see how you could possibly get any older.
Let's have a suicide pact. You go first.
Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, you might leave a stain.
What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. that isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination.
You're about as sharp as a marble...
He's about as subtle as a chainsaw, but lacking the social grace.
The lights are on but no one's home.
If brains were gasoline he wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle half way across a penny.
The proctologist called...they found your head.
I'd be happy to help you out. What way did you come in?
He's not the cookie with the most chocolate chips.
I read your mind, and trust me, it was a short story...
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
She's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Jim never really grew up. One day, he just kind of haired-over.
The engine is running but there's nobody at the wheel.
You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle.
She's got one wheel in the sand.
Her slinky's kinked.
They say that only nice people go to heaven, so be nice, or go to hell.
If your brain were rolling down the edge of a razor blade it would look like a bb rolling down an eight lane highway.
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
If things get better with age, he's approaching magnificent!
He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Great cage! No bird...
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
Your sister didn't get beat with the ugly stick. The whole tree fell on her!
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
On Dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
The cheese slid off her cracker.
I heard you had an idea once, but it died of loneliness.
We're not laughing AT you, we're laughing WITH you. Now, if you'd just start laughing, the whole concept would fall right into place.
If your parents got a divorce would they still be brother and sister?
Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.
You need to find a quiet corner and have a word with yourself.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
He's such a loser, he still parties like it's 1999.
If I was in a room with you and two werewolves and I had a gun with two silver bullets, I'd shoot you, twice.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.