Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people and then push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Don. How's your day been?"
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while and then announce, "I have new socks on."
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask,"Got enough air in there?"
1.Do what hanson did on snl and sing mmm bop in the elevator.
2.open up a birthday cake and take out the baloons and celebrate the elevators birthday.
3.take out the kareoke machine and give people a chance to join the game of elevator kareoke.
4.ring the emergency button and call for help saying theres a wild monkey loose in the elevator.
5.on your way up the elevator spray silly string on every floorr that it stops on when the door opens and people walk in.
6.take out your pet tarantula and intimidate the people on the elevator. 7.play charades.
8.take hostage of the people on the elevator and tell them they can get off at their stop if they give you their aol passwords.
9.take shampoo out of your bag and go to the person infront of you and start washing their hair.
10.when someone asks you to press number 4 press number 32 so they have to stay in the elevator longer.
11.paint the elevator buttons and write different numbers on each button. 12.do the macarena
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. If love is blind,why is lingerie so popular?
7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use Toothpicks?
22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
Reader Comments:
Allison Rodbell (Atlanta, GA) writes:
1) Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
2) Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
3) Why do they call them apartments when they are so close together?
Jodi Buchman (Chicago, Ill) writes:
1) If a cow laughed, would milk come out of its nose?
2) If nothing sticks to teflon, how does teflon stick to the pan?
3) Why do people turn down the radio in a car when trying to find an address
4) Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?