2, Be ambiguous -- Always
3, Cry -- Be inconsolable
4, Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months or decades ago
5, Bring things up that were done with other boyfriends or ex's
6, Make them apologize for everything
7, Stash feminine products in their cars and backpacks
8, Leave notes in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them
9, Look them in the eye and start laughing
10, Get mad at them for everything
11, Discuss your period in front of them -- Watch them squirm
12, Demand to be called or e-mailed -- Often -- Whine when they don't comply
13, When complimented, make sure to be paranoid
14, Take nothing at face value
15, Use daddy as a weapon -- Tell them about his gun collection
16, Be late for everything -- Yell if they're late
17, Talk about your ex's all the time -- Compare and contrast
18 Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're wrong
19 Plan little monthly relationship anniversaries
20 Get mad at them if they forget monthly anniversaries -- Then cry
21 Gather many female friends & dance to "I Will Survive" while they're present
22 Constantly claim you're fat -- Ask them -- Then cry, regardless of their answer
23 Leave out the good parts in stories
24 Whenever there is silence ask them, "What are you thinking ?"
25 Always make them wonder about everything -- Confusion is a good thing
26 Criticize the way they dress
27 Criticize the music they listen to
28 Criticize their friends
29 If asked, "What's wrong ?" tell them if they don't know, you're not going to tell them
30 Try to change them
31 Try to mold them
32 Try to get them to dance
33 When they screw up, never let them forget it
34 Make them stay at religious services until they are close to fainting
35 Use "Just Because" as an answer frequently
36 Blame everything on PMS
37 Read something into everything
38 Over-analyze everything
39 Get mad if they don't notice a haircut. Even if it's only a half inch
40 Play Alanis Morissette's "You Outta Know," loud. Look at them. Smile
41 Gossip. Gossip about everything that walks
42 Go everywhere in groups, especially the bathroom. Do nothing alone. Independence is a sign of weakness
43 Cry
44 Fall for your FAC
45 Correct their gramma
46 Describe back-alley abortions. Then remind them of their mother or little sister.
47 Make sure to only be interested in guys in the same friendship group. Make sure to cause trouble.
48 Declare you are not wacko
49 Pretend you're interested, lead them on, then feign ignorance when confronted
50 Make it your goal to make them cry