>Manliness Test > > >1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to > as: >A. Lovemaking >B. Screwing >C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town. > > >2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after > you've both shared: >A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. >B. Your blood-test results. >C. Five tequila slammers. > > >3. You time your orgasm so that: >A. Your partner climaxes first. >B. You both climax simultaneously. >C. You don't miss ESPN SportsCenter. > > >4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: >A. Healthy, creative love-play. >B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. >C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find >out about. > > >5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex > with is: >A. The best part of the experience. >B. The second best part of the experience. >C. $100 extra. > > >6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last > month. You tell her that it is: >A. No big concern of yours. >B. Not a problem, she can join your gym. >C. A conservative estimate. > > >7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is: >A. A myth >B. An oxymoron >C. A moron > > >8. Foreplay is to sex as: >A. Appetizer is to entree. >B. Primer is to paint. >C. A long line is to an amusement park ride. > > >9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself > saying at the end of a relationship? >A. "I hope we can still be friends." >B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep." >C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, baby... population: YOU." > > >10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: >A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with > that sort of intimacy. >B. Probably Is too uptight and a waste of your time. >C. Probably shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the > first place. > > >Scoring Guide: >If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make >sure you really are a man. >If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're >a little confused. >If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!!" |