"Feminity" as a Myth
"We're not born women we have become"
The building up of genders
By gender is meant the behavior imposed on people according to their biological sex.
The traditional family is the first place where we are conditioned ; parents have assimilated what individuals have to be according to their sex, that is to say they will mix sexual difference with gender difference.
The child are conditioned to correspond to socially imposed models.
Since the early age, girls are taught they can show their emotions whereas boys have to hide them.
It's quite natural for most people that a girl be mild, quiet, appearance-interested, etc, and a boy be violent, strong , courageous , etc.
A little girl too violent is branded a "tomboy" and a boy who cries is reproached for this.
Those who don't correspond to those models are "degenerated" or "abnormal".
Equally, toys will be given according to the sex of the child :
Little girls are often given toys that prepare them for maternal or house tasks ; dolls, toy tae sets, etc, or toys preparing them to their condition of pretty object : Barbie dolls, make-up , etc. Boys are given toys linked to a do-it-yourself job ; electric trains, little cars, etc.
The consequences of this categorization
The child would understand to which one of his/her parents he/she must identify himself/herself, and he/she will copy his/her behvior exactely.
In most families domestic tasks are done by women. Girls are more easily requested to help their mother or do it spontaneously .
So within an heterosexual couple , the woman has to tell the man what to do -providing he accepts to help her!
The patriarchial education make women FEEL responsible for domestic tasks or the children caring and so even if she works.
This building up of a gender and personality is harmful for women as well as for men. Indeed, a part of our personality is artificially made and we can't fully blossom.
We are going to try to correspond to what is expected from us.
This will play in the sexuality children will have later either because for some it will be difficult to admit their homosexuality or because -consciously or not- they will try to reproduce the model of their parents in the couple life.
Beyond individual problems, this building up of genders puts men in a dominant situation compared to women.
If they have to protect , they therefore have rights on women. If they have to be strong it's because women are weak .
Education is not similar in all families and all the institutions, and can contribute to strengthen, justify and perpetuate the social norm of a patriarchial, sexist, hetero-normative society.