as full and bright as i am this light is not my own and a million light reflections pass over me.
I wanna understand why, but I'm hurting myself
I haven't seen a lotta reasons to stop it
I can't just drop it
I'm just a bastard, but at least I admit it
At least I admit it
He made me smile but it was a lie,
He took my hand but held to tight,
Why did it always have to be a fight?
I tried to give in
To make things right
But it was always me
That started the fight
Or so he says to everyone
But in truth we both know
That I was not the one.
And that is why I have to go
I�ve cried the tears
And faked the smiles
Throughout those years
We went those miles
I wish it didn�t have to end this way
But I knew it would come
One tragic day
And I would be alone
I fought the sleepless nights
In search of if I tried
There�d be no more fights
And no more lies
But I failed in my attempts
For the day always ended
In remorse and regrets
And my heart needs to be mended
I�m afraid ill never let go
And I�m afraid I made the wrong choice
But I have to know
I have to find out
I�m scared that I�ve lost you
But afraid that I cant let go
Hurt is all I get from you
And its all that I know
I want to be happy
But I get more pain then that
I�m losing my sanity
I�m loosing my Matt
A night mare inside a perfect dream
Doesn�t make it perfect anymore
Things aren�t always what they seem
And you don�t read my emotions no more
You don�t see the sad little girl
Inside this hurting soul
That�s so afraid of the world
And the only one that makes her whole
I�m so afraid of your strong hands
And your anger and violence
The strong hits that smack like rubber bands
The end is only sobs within silence
They make my stomach turn
How can someone so kind
Make my heart burn
How can you look through me?
As if I was invisible
How can you not see?
Is it so unconceivable?
How can you hurt me?
How can you lie?
I wish you could see
You�re making me die
The pain that I�m feeling
Day after day
This book that I�m sealing
Wont take it away
I need to be loved and cared for
But you don�t give me that
I need so much more
Then what you are giving me Matt
I whisper my fears,
I fold your heart with crying tears,
To soon to die,
To late to live,
But no one hears,
What there is to give,
Just as the moon kisses the ocean,
She embraces the nothing,
And retains her motion,
And whispers something,
Just as I whisper my fears,
With crying tears,
That I am here,
As the moon kisses the ocean
