MORE ELEVATOR JOKES
DR SKY TOWER HAS HEARD OVER THE YEARS...
I, hmmm, always hear the craziest jokes form my patients regarding elevators, it is however a shame I, ho hum, don't really get any jokes about elevator passengers from my elevator patients! The problem with elevators is that they really don't have a sense of humour.....
An american tourist goes into a hotel in England and pushes the elevator button. A clerk tells him "The lift will be down shortly." "The lift?" asks the American. "You mean the elevator."
"No," says the clerk, "I mean the LIFT."
"I think I should know what it's called!" the American snaps, "Elevators WERE invented in the United States!!"
"That may be," says the clerk, "but the language was invented here."
Two psychiatrists, Dr Sky Tower and Dr Shortz, both with offices in the same building, rode the elevator together every morning. Each day the elevator operator would watch in amazement as Dr Shortz spit in Dr Sky Tower's face while Dr Sky Tower did nothing in return. Finally the operator stopped Dr Sky Tower after Dr Shortz had exited and said "Excuse me Sir, but for 3years now I've been watching as that other man spits in your face every day. I just have to ask why you don't ever do anything about it." "Well," says Dr Sky Tower, "It's, hmmm, HIS problem."
One day an air freshener salesman boarded an elevator in a flash building. While the elevator went up to the 20th floor, he felt a sudden overwhelming desire to fart, and being all alone, he lets it rip. As expected, the terrible smell of rotten eggs (and his curry lunch) soon fills the whole elevator car, so he opens his briefcase, pulls out one of his air fresheners, and sprays the walls and doors whle flapping his hands and arms to disperse the spray, and flaps his jacket tail to air out his trousers also. Two floors before his floor the elevator stops and an office employee boards. The air freshener salesman notices the shocked expression of the employee, and his face turning green, so to cover his butt (no pun intended!) the salesman says to him, "Isn't the smell deplorable? You'd think whoever had the gall to fart in here actually made it to the toilet in time!" "Yeah," gasps the employee, "it smells like they shit out a pine tree!"
Granny was visiting town for the first time. She checks in at the hotel and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows the boy, and as the door closes she looks around and shakes her fist at him. "Young man, I may be old, and from the hills, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I paid good money and this room won't do at all. It's too small and without proper ventilation. Why, there's not even a bed or a window!"
The bellboy looks at her and says, "Ma'am, this isn't your room, it's the elevator!"
DR SKY TOWER SAYS... This one is, hmmm, an odd one...
One day two AhLians get into a lift from the20th floor of a building and wanted to to down to the ground floor. As the looked at the panel they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they wer not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what the letter G means. Suddenly one of them exlaimed excitedly and hit G. When they reached the ground floor, the other AhLian was so impressed he asked the first one, "Wow, how you know one?" The first AhLian replies smugly "Easy lah, G for Gero Mah."
IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR:
To move the cabin press button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up
IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR:
Please leave your values at the front desk
IN A MAJORIA HOTEL ELEVATOR:
English well talking. Here speeching American
DR SKY TOWER SAYS... This is a funny one....ha, ha
Two blondes were engaged in conversation as they entered the elevator in a large office building. One of them said loudly, "Of course my ultimate fantasy has always been to have two men at once." There was complete silence as every passenger in the elevator slowly turned to look at her. She then laughed and said "One to do the cooking and the other to do the cleaning of course."
Dr Sky Tower and a lady were in the elevator on the 99th floor when all of a sudden the cable snapped and the elevator started to plummet at an incredible rate.
The lady stared at Dr Sky Tower, who didn't seem worried at all. She gulped with terror and shrieked as she ripped off her clothes - "Make me feel like a woman for the last time!"
To which Dr Sky Tower stepped over to the corner where her clothes lay and calmly folded them up.
ELEVATOR PICTURE JOKE
