“Ne, Yui-chaaaaaan, I sooooooooooo bored!!” Miaka whined.
     Three seconds later Miaka found happiness in another bowl of rice.
     But that was short-lived.
      Yui sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Miaka, if you’re desperate for something interesting to do…” her tone suddenly changed from being serious to manic. “…then let’s invite over the rest of our ‘human’ Seishi, for a game of truth or dare!!”
      (Soi: Does that include Tomo?)
      (Tomo: ShutUP! *mutter…mutter* stupid…*mutter* sniping harlot…*grumble…grumble*)
      Miaka’s eyes lit up like two electric unidentified flying objects (UFOs and/or saucers if you like).
     “Wai!! Wai!! Think of the possibilities!” Miaka paused for a moment, considering, then: “Quick, what are the Seishi’s phone numbers?”
     “Anou…Miaka…this is ancient China. Telephones haven’t been invented yet,” Yui said patiently and slowly like she was talking to a chipmunk she was trying to convince to take food out of her hand.
     “Sonna!! How will we get our Seishi to cooooommmmeeee??!!!!”
      At that precise moment, Suzaku Sichiseishi Chichiri popped conveniently into the room in a puff of pink smoke.
     “DAAAAA!!!” he exclaimed with a flourish of his kesa.
      Miaka and Yui face-vaulted. “Chi…Chichiri!”
     “Ne, Chichiri,” Yui said thoughtfully. “You have the ability to teleport, right?”
      “Of course no da. How do you think I got here no da?” the monk said, patting his trusty kasa.
     “Well, Miaka and I could really use your help. You see, we have this problem.”
     “What is it, miko-sama no da? Just ask. I’d be glad to help you na no da.”
     “Well, we need to contact all the Seishi as quickly as possible…” Yui began, then broke out into a frighteningly BIG grin.
“…for a game of TRUTH OR DARE!!!!!” she crowed.
     “A-anou…” Chichiri sweatdropped. “W-what is that no da?”
      Miaka raised an accusing finger and all but shoved it up her Seishi’s nose. “You promised you’d help, Chichiri.”
     “I did, didn’t I no da.” *Sigh* no da. “I’ll be right back no da.” And Chichiri vanished abruptly into his kasa.

     --- Five minutes later --

      A group of fairly (read VERY) shocked Seishi, Suzaku and Seiryuu, stood on the crumpled purple puddle that was Chichiri’s kesa, some blinking in confusion, some swearing profusely (we won’t name names…, Tasuki) and some hastily trying to make themselves more presentable. *ahem*.
      “Mou na no da,” Chichiri complained. “Get off, everybody. It’s dry clean only no da!”
     “This?” Tasuki said, having yanked the kesa out from under the feet of eleven other Seishi who now lay in a pathetic heap of tangled limbs.
      “Kisama!” Tamahome jumped up, grabbing the red-haired bandit by the collar. “Watch what you’re don’!!”
      Tasuki stared at the enraged Seishi nonchalantly. “Warui, obake-chan. That was…”
      “ON PURPOSE ??!!!” Tamahome wasted no time in starting an all out, no holes barred, pay-per-view kind of brawl. The rest of the Seishi and their mikos collectively sweatdropped while Suboshi collected bets.
      Suddenly, Miaka whipped out a megaphone from nowhere and whined at ten times her normal volume. “Hi! Minna, please pay attention! We’re going to play TRUTH OR DARE!!!”
      The Seishi gasped and clutched at their heads in agony at the ear-splitting shriek.
      “M-My head!” Amiboshi screamed.
      Nuriko smacked him upside the head. “NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS, FLUTE-BOY!!”
     Amiboshi whimpered pathetically and curled into a quivering ball on the floor.
      Tasuki and Tamahome only looked up a little stunned from their brawl, their fists full of each other’s hair and their clothes a little tattered, but otherwise fine.
      They stood up and dusted each other off.
      Chichiri gingerly picked up the wrinkled wreck that was his kesa and tried vainly to shake out the dust, but SOMEONE’S boot-prints were hopelessly engraved into the fabric.
      “My kesa no daaaa,” the monk moaned pitifully.
     Suboshi eyed the two Seishi speculatively.
      “So…” he said as casually as he could. “Um… I was just, you know, wondering….who won?”
     Simultaneously, the two teenagers thumped their chests and proudly declared: “Me!”
      Suboshi sweatdropped. “Anou….”
      “Give it up, Suboshi,” Mitsukake said quietly. “We want our money back.”
      The young Seishi looked pained, but complied.
      “There goes that hot date I was saving up for with Yui-sama.”
      Ever so casually, Yui elbowed him in the head. “Baka,” she muttered.
      “Like I said,” Miaka broke in again, having thankfully discarded the megaphone. “We’re going to play truth or dare, so everybody sit down in a circle. Does everyone know how to play?”
      “…Um….uh…eto…” There was much humming and hawing and guilty scratching of heads.
      “Yatta! Prepare for Miaka-sensei’s Truth or Dare Crash Course!”
      “Crash course…?” the Seishi asked timorously.
      “Hai! Now…” Miaka pulled down a simple chart from the air above her head. “The game of Truth or Dare is played by two or more people. It consists of telling secrets, ie. truths and performing dares, hence the name, Truth or Dare. Any questions?” she asked, pointing her…um…pointing stick…at the attentive crowd.
      Chiriko’s little hand immediately shot up. “Do I have to play?” he asked plaintively.
      “Absolutely!” Miaka and Yui chorused. “No one is exempt! KAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!”
      “Hey!” Tomo complained indignantly. “That’s MY line!”
     “BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Serves ya right, cackling gay boy!” Tasuki burst out, slapping the smaller Seishi on the back and sending him sprawling into Nakago’s lap.
      “T-Tomo…” Nakago said, looking deeply into the other Seishi’s shining eyes. “I…I…”
      “Yes, Nakago-sama,” Tomo all but sang, his voice wavering on the edge of dreamy hope.
      “I’ll kill you.”
      Tomo’s face fell. He barely noticed when Soi wrapped her arms possessively around Nakago and callously snapped her fingers, sending an unhealthy amount of voltage rocketing through Tomo’s body.
      “Ow…” he mumbled dejectedly. “Slimy…….*cough*…electric…eel.” He promptly passed out.
     “Warui, Tomo,” Tasuki snickered. “that was…on purpose.”
      SMACK. Tamahome leapt at Tasuki, prepared to punch his lights out.
      “What did you say, Fang-boy?!!”
      “Cool it, would ya,” the bandit leader said, annoyed. “Geez, I said TOMO, not TAMA!”
      “Oh.” Tamahome dropped Tasuki into an untidy heap at his feet and went to sit down again next to Miaka. Tasuki, for his part, bounced conveniently on his butt and ended up back in his seat.
     “@#$%#$@*&,” he mumbled under his breath.
      “Ne, Miaka,” Nuriko pleaded, offering his miko a tempting sesame dumpling. “Can we get started now? I want to dare Hotohori-sama to marry me.”
      “Anou…I thought you were straight, Nuriko,” the emperor said, his beautiful brow creasing in puzzlement.
     “Yeah…well….” Nuriko laughed girlishly.
      “It’s alright, Nuriko,” Hotohori said magnanimously, tossing his chestnut hair coquettishly over his shoulder. “After all, I am the most beautiful man in the room.”
      Everyone face-vaulted.
      “Yes,” Yui said, clapping her hands in a business-like manner. “Let’s get started. I’ll go first.”
      “Why do you get to go first?” Nakago inquired smoothly, sounding as indifferent as usual.
      “’Cause I’M the miko!” Yui chuckled madly.
      “I’m a miko,” Miaka protested. “Why can’t I go first?”
      “Because I’m a genius and it was MY idea.”
      “Yeah, but I’m the main character.”
      “Oh fine, have it your way,” Yui pouted.
      “TAMAHOME!!” Miaka exclaimed.
      “WHAT???!!!???” the Seishi said, nearly jumping out of his skin, worried that somehow he had been caught picking his nose or something equally unacceptable.
      “TRUTH OR DARE?!!”
      Tamahome breathed a profound sigh of relief.
     “Dare?” he said tentatively, wondering what his girlfriend might force him to do.
     “I dare you to kiss me…for REAL!!”
      After fifteen minutes, the rest of the group started to get bored. Nuriko rolled his eyes heavenward and sighed heavily and Amiboshi amused himself by playing his flute. A recovered Tomo sat twiddling his thumbs, disgusted by the whole prospect that ANYONE would want to kiss a girl…let alone Miaka. Chichiri just stared with a concerned frown on his permanently happy face, wondering just how long the two could last without air. Nakago cocked an eyebrow.
      “Such things…” he said. “should be done in private.”
      “THAT’S IT!!” Tasuki exclaimed finally. “This sucks. Break out the sake. I’ll show you how it’s done!” From nowhere, a pleasantly warmed bottle of sake appeared and another and another….you get the idea.
      “Yoshi!!” Tasuki said. “AMIBOSHI! Truth or dare?”
      Amiboshi looked up from his flute, surprised. “Um…dare.”
      Tasuki smiled, flashing a fang. “I dare you to….THROW THAT CRAPPY TIN TUBE OUT THE @#%$&# WINDOW!”
      “WHAT?!” the poor boy gasped, horrified.
      “HAHAHAHAahahaha!” Tasuki laughed maniacally. “It’s a dare! You have to. You HAVE to!”
      “I don’t want to! It’s a stupid dare!”
      “No fair!” Tasuki screamed. “You chose dare. Where’s the referee?!”
      “Heeeere!!” Miaka popped up, not at all winded by her record-breaking kiss. (Tamahome, by the way, was passed out of the floor, all the oxygen having left his brain.)
     She took a moment to sagely (*snicker* yeah right.) evaluate the situation and then proclaimed: “Chuck it, Amiboshi.”
      “Nooooooo!!!!” he the Seishi sobbed. Suboshi might have noticed and come to the defence of his twin if he hadn’t been so busy trying to plan the perfect truth and/or dare that would involve Yui eventually confessing her undying love and agreeing to go out with him. So, a tag team of Nuriko, Tasuki and Tomo dragged the boy away from his beloved flute.
      Tomo really wasn’t particularly interested in the game, but his WAS intrigued by the prospect of feeling up his fellow Seishi. Meanwhile, Soi picked up the offending instrument and hurled it unceremoniously out the open window.
      “Nooooo!!!” Amiboshi wailed again. “ACK! Tomo! What are you doing?!!”
      The painted Seishi put his long-nailed hands guiltily behind his back. “N-noooothing…” he laughed casually.
      “Okay. Let’s move on,” Yui said decisively.
      Suboshi looked up from his love-daze and saw three people restraining his unhappy twin.
      “Oi, Aniki,” he asked. “What happened to you?”
      “Shunkaku!” Amiboshi cried. “Why didn’t you help meeeeee?!!!”
     “Help?” Suboshi blinked.
     “My fluuuuuuute!!!!”
      “Flute?”
      “WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
     “Huh?”
      “Anou…” Chichiri cut in to get the show on the road. “Whose turn is it no da?”
      “MINE!” Amiboshi shrieked. “I want VENGEANCE!!!”
      “Ah…I don’t think I’ll argue no da.”
      “TOMO!!” Amiboshi glared balefully at the Seishi who stared back with nervous golden eyes.
      “Truth or dare?” he asked so quietly that Tomo cringed and gulped.
      “…um….ah…t-truth?” he said in a small voice.
      Amiboshi grinned maliciously. “How many copies of Nakago are there in that clam of yours?”
     “ACK!” Tomo gasped. “I don’t have to answer that!”
     “Yes, you do,” Amiboshi, Nakago and, not surprisingly, Soi said in unison.
     “Um…well…o-only o-….No! No! I’ll never tell!”
     Nakago looked at his subordinate, his eyes narrowed menacingly. Somehow, he produced Shin in his hand and showed it in front of Tomo’s face.
      “H-how did you get that?!!” Tomo squeaked, patting his pockets, sure that his beloved Shin would turn up somewhere, that this was a VERY un-amusing joke.
      “Do it,” Nakago commanded. “or the clam gets it.”
      “ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!” Tomo cried. “There are mhfph…..”
      Tasuki, sticking his (slightly red) nose in where it didn’t belong cupped his ear dramatically and sang, “We can’t heeeeear you!”
     “ONE!!!! THERE’S ONLY ONE!!!!” Tomo burst out.
      “One what?” Chiriko asked, not having been paying much attention to the game he didn’t want to play.
      “One…hundred?” Nuriko asked.
      “One…thousand?” Tamahome amended.
      “ONE! Just ONE! Geez, what do you guys take me for?!!”
     “Well…” Soi started.
     “YOU should talk, you tin-plated trollop!” Tomo accused.
      “Why you…” the female Seishi growled. “I’LL RIP YOUR STUPID HEAD OFF!!” she cried, leaping at the screaming painted Seishi, her hands crackling with menacing electricity.
      “Soi, it’s your turn,” Nakago said calmly.
      “Oh,” Soi said happily, releasing the well-done Tomo who moaned pitifully and sneezed soot, his ponytail sticking straight up from static electricity.
      “In that case…” Soi all but purred. “Nakago-sama, truth or dare.”
      “Truth,” the shogun said, absolutely unwilling to put his dignity in the hands of such an unashamedly amorous woman, pictures off Tamahome’s blue, oxygen-deprived face floating in his mind.
      “Who do you love more? Me or Tomo?” Soi smirked, knowing it was no contest.
     “Soi,” the blond Seishi said earnestly. “the truth is… I LOVE TAMAHOME!”
     Soi immediately broke out into shocked tears. “But I’m so much sexier than hiiiiiimm!”
      For his part, Tamahome desperately tried to disengage himself from the nightmarish embrace of Seiryuu sichiseishi Nakago who cuddled most uncharacteristically into his lap.
      “WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” Tamahome wailed. “MIAKA!!! SAAAAVE MEEEEE!!!!!!”
      “Grrrrrrr!” Suzaku no miko growled.
      “HENTAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and she sent Nakago spinning into orbit.
      “Hey!” Nuriko shouted. “That’s MY job!”
      “My hero!” Tamahome sobbed, clinging to his diminutive girlfriend.
      “Oi, Tama,” a by this time rather tipsy Tasuki slurred. “be a man.”
      “NAAAANIIIII?!!!!” Tamahome growled, his ogre character glowing menacingly, all memory of Nakago’s scary hug flying out the window.
      “Why don’t you come over HERE and say that!”
      “Hn.” Tasuki tossed his head non-concertedly, trusting Miaka to restrain her incensed boyfriend.
      “Whose turn is it now,” Mitsukake asked. Truthfully, he was a little lost what with all the hysterics going on. Who would have thought it would be such a big deal to tell the truth. Theoretically, that shouldn’t be so out of the ordinary.
      “How ‘bout I go?” Yui suggested. “I still haven’t had my turn….Hmmn…” Yui consider her target carefully. “I choose…CHIRIKO!”
      The child genius looked up, shocked, from the scroll he had been studying. “Me?” he said incredulously.
     “No, the OTHER Chiriko,” Yui said flatly.
     “Me?” Amiboshi asked.
     Yui sighed and put a hand to her forehead. “I was being sarcastic.”
     Both Chirikos blinked in confusion.
     “Never mind!” Yui exclaimed in exasperation. “Chiriko,” she pointed to make herself clear, “truth or dare?”
     “Well, if I choose truth, I could be forced to tell embarrassing secrets about myself. Since I’m really very shy, I don’t think that would be very enjoyable. Of course, since I’m only thirteen, no one could really ask me to say anything TOO inappropriate since I have no sex life to speak of. On the other hand, if I pick dare, I put myself at the mercy of a girl I know only by reputation; and could be forced to perform humiliating antics against my will and surely beneath my dignity, and would leave myself open to caustic remarks and sarcastic jabs and jokes at my own expense…”
“Oh come ON, kid,” Yui finally cried. “This isn’t rocket science. Just PICK one!”
      “Roc-ket?” Chiriko asked, even the child genius puzzled by something that wouldn’t be invented as far as he knew for at least the next few centuries.
     “Forget it. Truth or dare?”
      “Well, against my better judgement…” the child began. Yui and everyone else braced themselves for another speech. “I’ll pick dare.” Chiriko finished.