Suboshi leaned against the tent wall and drew his knees up to his chest. He rested his chin on top of his knees and drew Yui's cloak tighter around him, letting the warmth from the fire engulf him. He breathed in deeply, the floral scent from her cloak filling his senses.
      His eyes settled on the sleeping form in front of him and he traced the soft contours of her face with his gaze.
      He felt as if his heart would burst.
      The times when he could openly look at her were rare and so, despite the exhaustion in his limbs, he forced himself to stay awake to watch her in her sleep.
      He has never seen so much beauty in one person as he did in her now. In her sleep, the cool, detached demeanor he has come to associate with her at the palace is taken away. There were no lines of tension in her face. Just a gentle and serene expression which he would catch a glimpse of every now and then on those rare unguarded moments where he would manage to make her smile.
      His eyes took an a sad expression as he studied her face.
      Why is it that she's always so lonely? If I could take it all away, I would. What is it that makes you unhappy? Is it…is it…His hand clenched unconsciously as an image of Tamahome appeared in his mind.
      His eyes dropped away from her face and the shame from deep inside of him.
      Murderer.
      He put a hand up against his cheek. The same cheek in which her tears had fallen was the same one which was once stained with crimson. There was not much difference. They felt the same. The warm wetness of blood and tears.
      He stared at her again, memorizing every curve and line of her face. A heavy blanket of guilt and sorrow settled on his chest.
      She knows now.
      In his mind's eye, he recalled the look on her face when Tamahome's words finally sank in.
      And still, she had saved me.
      He felt the tent wall move against his back as a strong gust of wind pushed against it, reminding him of the blizzard that raged outside.
      He could still feel her warm breath of his face as she leaned over him, her face only inches away from him.
      "Do it again and get well. Then you can get us out of here."
      Suboshi let out a small snort.
      Who the hell are you fooling? She didn't do it for you. It was never for you.
      Murderer.
      He shifted his eyes to watch the steady rise and fall of her chest and he listened to her long, even breathing. He hesitated before he unfolded his legs and stood up.
      He walked towards her sleeping form and quietly knelt down beside her.
      He reached out his hand and gently brushed his fingers against her cheek.
      "I'm sorry, Yui-sama."

      Yui felt herself being pulled from the warm tranquility of sleep. She thought she heard a voice whisper her name. "Yui-sama…"
      Her body was slow in responding and she kept her eyes closed even as wakefulness sharpened her senses.
      Something brushed against her cheek, making it tingle. Right now, Yui felt that all she wanted to do is snuggle deeper in her blanket and let the warmth lull her back to sleep, waking only when the storm is over.
      Storm?
      Yui's eyes snapped open and found herself staring at Suboshi's surprised face.
      Suboshi gaped at Yui as their eyes met. Then realizing he where his hand was, he quickly pulled it back, his face growing warm.
      "I…uh…I…"
      Yui stared at his flushed face for a moment, disoriented. She looked around her, then back again to Suboshi as everything clicked into place.
      She sat up slowly, gathering the blanket around her. Her eyes quickly riveted towards the fire that burned in front of her.
      She looked back at Suboshi with a questioning look but as their eyes met again, her expression suddenly turned blank.
      Suboshi fidgeted as she looked at him for a full minute, not saying anything.
      Finally, she spoke.
      "Suboshi…are you…are feeling better now?" she asked softly.
      Suboshi's relaxed then nodded.
      "Yes, thank you La….huh!"
      His head snapped back as Yui's open palm met his cheek. The blow wasn't really that hard but from Suboshi's expression conveyed a tremendous amount of shock and hurt.
      Yui quickly stood up and put as much distance between the two of them as possible.
      "Lady Yui…?" Suboshi finally managed to blurt out.
      Yui turned away from him, tears forming in her eyes.
      Seeing him in front of her unscathed and very much alive forced her to confront something she had been trying to avoid. And now, being alone with him in such closed proximity, made it into something she can no longer ignore. Everything else had been pushed back in her head: the injuries he had suffered, the freezing cold, the blizzard. Her mind was void of everything except for him. She saw only him and hundreds of gory images raised by her imagination.
      Suboshi stood up and looked at her stiff, unmoving form.
      "Lady Yui…" he repeated, taking a few steps forward.
      "No!" Yui cried sharply, her voice wavering, "Don't come near me."
      Suboshi felt a million pinpricks on his chest.
      "But…" he started to say.
      "I said no!" Yui shouted, whirling around. There was a pained expression on her face and her eyes were luminous with tears that had welled up there.
      "Don't come near me and don't say anything. I don't want hear anything from you."
      Yui swallowed as she looked at him. She could see the turmoil on his face. She turned away once again, unable look at him for another second. She was angry. Angry with him. And herself.
      "Just tell me the truth. Did you…did you really kill them?" she asked, forcing the words out.
      There was silence and Yui listened as the wind howled outside, beating savagely at the tent walls.
      "Did you?!" she demanded.
      A slight pause and then he spoke, his voice solemn and unwavering.
      "I did."
      A choked sob escaped from Yui's lips, and Suboshi saw her tears glisten in the air before falling to the floor.
      "How could you? How could you?!"
      Suboshi felt his heart break at the accusing tone of her voice. No words escaped from his mouth, his guilt sealing it shut.
      Yui couldn't believe it. Would not want to believe it. And yet, she heard him say it with her very own ears.
      Suboshi?
      In her heart she understood. It was the loss. The rage. The need for revenge. She thought that that had been the link that bound them together. Kindred spirits.
      And yet, he took it to another level. Now she questions herself. Am I capable of doing it too?
      Miaka's face flashed before her.
      I could have. Many times before. And yet I didn't. I couldn't.
      Yui turned slightly until she could see him from the corner of her eye. He looked like a lost boy now, more than ever. His head was bowed and she couldn't see his eyes. But even if she could look into them, she won't know what to make of it anymore. She thought she knew him. But now she knows she had been mistaken.
      "Do you…do you hate me, Yui-sama? Do you hate me for what I did?" Suboshi asked quietly, startling her. "Am I a monster to you now?"
      He had looked up and was looking at her with unbearably sad eyes.
      Do I hate him? Is he asking me if I hate him? I…I…Yui averted her gaze and slowly sank to the floor.
      Do I hate him? What do I feel?
      She stare hard at the floor, not wanting to look at him.
      I hate him. I should but…why did I even bother to…?
      Her mind wandered back to when she threw herself between him and Tamahome. At that moment, there was no questioning it. She had to do it. Had wanted to. Even at the expense of her life.
      Why?
      Suboshi didn't stir, he just looked down at her.
      There was a long period of silence before she spoke.
      "It doesn't matter if I do or not. It wouldn't change anything. Just…just let me be."
      She heard him start to move around and she stiffened. She didn't want him near her. It hurts too much. The disappointment. She didn't want to look at him and know that he was capable of that brutal, heartless act.
      No…I don't want to know. Not you , Suboshi…not you…
      Everything was quiet for a stretch of time. Outside, the wind howled and beat at the walls of the tent. Yui felt as if the whole room was closing in on them and she longed to be back in Kutou. Back at the time when she didn't know anything. She wanted to be back home. She wanted to get as far away from the terrible reality that has been her life inside this book.
      "I understand. But please, let me speak first," Suboshi said unexpectedly. His voice was clear and steady. Yui braced herself. She didn't think she'd want to hear what he has to say.
      "I did. I did kill them. And up until now, I've had no regrets. At least none that I cannot bear."
      His words gripped at her and she looked up and saw the deep sorrow in his eyes.
      "I didn't regret it, because I did it for my brother and…and for you."
      Unbidden tears spilled from her eyes.
      "I'm sorry if I've disappointed you in any way. You're right. Nothing can ever change the fact that I killed them. But if I start regretting it now, it would mean that aniki was not worth it. That you are not worth it. And that would be a lie. Because you are. You both are."
      "That day, when I woke up and realized that I was back in Kutou, I wanted to go back. I had to finish it. I wanted to go back and face Tamahome. I don't care if I died trying. I just wanted my revenge. I was willing to die. I wanted to die." Suboshi looked down at his hand. "I didn't think I could even continue living without him. And I don't think I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I killed them, weak and defenseless, with my own hands. I didn't want to live."
      "But then, I realized, that I didn't have to live like that. I didn't have to live for myself and my pain. Because there was you. Nothing matters to me anymore now but to protect you. I'm a Seiryuu seishi. My life amounts to nothing, if not for you. I live for the Maiden. And if you asked me, if I would do it again. I would. Not only because I have to, but because I love you."
      Suboshi walked towards the fire and began to pick up his clothes which were spread out in front of it. Yui turned away from him numbly as he started to dress. She could hear his movements and the rustle of cloth. Then it stopped and he walked to the other side of the tent, opposite her, forcing her to look at him. He was now fully dressed. He knelt down on one knee into a solemn bow, the same one he had done when they first met.
      "I'm sorry for putting you through so much. I thank you, Yui-sama…for saving me even though you feel that way about me."
      He stood up. "Don't worry. After this, I'll keep my distance. I'll be..."
      "Stop that," Yui interrupted him, her voice coming out low and thick with emotion. She stood and up walked up to him, her eyes flashing.
      "How dare you. How dare you!" she hissed, tears starting to trickle down her cheek uncontrollably. "Take it back!"
      Suboshi was flabbergasted.
      "I…I…"
      "Take it back!" Yui cried.
      "Lady Yui…I don't know what you're talking about…" said Suboshi.
      "How dare you place the blame on me! How dare you tell me you love me!"
      Suboshi felt his heart constrict. Of course…
      "I did it for you…"
      Baka!
      "Yui, I…" his words trailed of as he realized he had forgotten to attach the customary title to her name. But he couldn't stop himself. He lifted a hand to cup the side of her face, a thumb brushing away at her tears.
      Yui shuddered at the contact but didn't move away.
      "Take it back…" she whispered weakly.
      Not thinking clearly, Suboshi reached out and drew her close, embracing her.
      Yui stiffened as his arms went around her. She was stunned for a moment before finally giving in, relaxing into his arm.
      "I'm sorry, Yui-sama…I didn't mean to make you feel so bad…" he whispered in her hair.
      That was the last straw. Yui pressed her face against the crook of his neck and started to cry.
      Suboshi hugged her closer, gently stroking her hair. Every sob that shook her body cut through him like a knife.
      "I'm sorry…" he whispered again and again.
      Suddenly, Yui pushed him away.
      "Stop, please!" she pleaded.
      "Yui-sama…" said Suboshi, looking at her with confused eyes.
      Yui turned away from him.
      "Don't. Don't look at me," she begged.
      "But why?" he persisted, stepping in front of her. He wasn't going to let her ignore him now. He had just held her in his arms and she had let him. He's not going to let it fall back into nothing.
      Yui looked at him with luminous eyes.
      "What you said. It can't be true. Don't say it. Take it back."
      Suboshi gave her a pained look.
      "I would if I can. I'd do anything but I can't. It's true. You have to believe me! I love you!" he declared ardently.
      Suboshi looked on helplessly as more tears slid down her cheeks. A tortured look came into her eyes. They stared at each other searchingly until Yui finally spoke.
      "No. Forget about that. Forget about me," she said resignedly. Suboshi opened his mouth to protest but shut it again as Yui held out her wrist to him.
      "Look at it."
      Suboshi frowned as he looked down and saw a thin jagged scar running horizontally across her wrist.
      He stared down at it, puzzled for a moment. Then he slowly raised his widened eyes to meet hers.
      "Lady Yui...?"
      Yui nodded silently at his unspoken inquiry. Her face suddenly became impassive and her eyes took on a vacant expression.
      "When I first came to this world, I found myself lost and alone. I started wandering, looking everywhere for Miaka. At some point, I found myself in a run-down section of a town in Kutou. When I stepped into an alley, there was a group of men. And...and..." her lower lip began to tremble, "...they...I was so scared. I tried to run but...."
      Suboshi's eyes smoldered. He grabbed Yui by the shoulders and hugged her tight.
      "Shh.....you don't have to tell me anymore....shh..."
      Yui felt the front of his shirt beginning to soak with her tears.
      "Don't you see? I was raped. I'm nothing now. I was..."
      "I'll kill them!" he said fiercely, feeling tears sting his own eyes. "Damn them! Those bastards! I'll kill them!"
      Yui could feel his body tremble with rage and suddenly she felt very afraid.
      "No, Suboshi please that isn't why I told you..."
      His eyes bore down on hers.
      "It doesn't matter why. They hurt you! They..." he clenched his hand. He couldn't even get himself to say it. It must have been so horrible for her.
      Yui disengaged herself from his arms and he released her.
      "Listen to you," she said, giving a short hollow laugh. "Why would you care anyway. Don't you see? You...you and Amiboshi. You've risked everything for someone who doesn't even deserve it. I'm not worth it.Whatever you believe me to be.. just forget about it. Forget it. I'm nobody. Just a name. A title."
      "No! Don't say that!" he said looking at her with such intensity that Yui could feel herself being pulled into the depth of his tumultuous grey eyes.
      Almost instinctively, he bent his head down towards her.
      Yui's eyes widened as his lips came down on hers. She froze for a moment. But it was only a simple kiss. His soft lips pressing against her, gentle and undemanding. Just a token act.
      Yui surprised herself when she pressed up against him, the warmth and feel of his body strangely soothing and comforting.
      Suboshi's lips moved from her lips to her cheeks, brushing soft, sweet kisses against her skin. His hand gently moved to the base of her head, gently guiding her head to his shoulder. As she laid her cheek on the crook of his neck once more, he whispered in her ear :
      "I don't care about what happened to you before. It doesn't change anything."
      No, I'm not going to cry again, Yui told herself though the tears were already spilling from her eyes.
      Suboshi tilted her face up to him and kissed her tears away, tasting the salty liquid--tasting her pain.
      Greatly touched by this show of affection, Yui raise a hand to his face and pressed her mouth to his.
      Suboshi went into panic mode.
      Never had he imagined that she would do that. He was motionless for a few seconds.
      Yui felt him stiffen and noticed he did not respond. Suddenly doubt clouded her mind.
      What am I doing?
      She pulled away from him, hurt and embarrasment showing clear on her face.
      Kuso! thought Suboshi as he realized what just happened.
      Yui withdrew and stepped away from him.
      "Wait," he said, grabbing her by the elbow. Yui flinched and Suboshi quickly drew his hand back.
      "I...I'm sorry" they both said at once. Suboshi's eyes widened.
      "No! I mean, what are you sorry for?" he asked.
      Yui turned away from him.
      "What I did was improper. Now you must think I'm really..."
      Her words died in her lips as Suboshi suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist and turned her towards him.
      Yui's breath caught in her throught as she looked into his eyes and saw the desire in them.
      "That wasn't improper. This is improper..."
      His lips met hers again for yet another kiss. This time, it wasn't as simple as before.
      His lips came down on her, with more pressure. Yui found herself responding headily, her mouth opening under the gentle probing of his kiss. She had never been kissed before but Yui had a feeling that nothing could ever compare to the kiss she was receiving now. She felt herself drowning in a state of bliss. She moved her arms up around his neck and pressed up to him.
      At this, Suboshi suddenly felt the urge to slap himself. This couldn't be happening, the thought stuggling to formed itself in the hazy, transcendental state his mind was in.
      Afraid that this dream would end, Suboshi decided he'll get the most out of it now.
      He deepened the kiss and moved his hand from her waist to her shoulders, seeking to make contact with her soft, warm skin.
      Yui was only slightly aware of the fact that Suboshi was pushing the blanket from off her. She was oblivious to it as it fell down and pooled at her feet.
      Suboshi gasped, and broke off the kiss as his fingers failed to grab hold of the blanket that had began to slide off Yui's shoulders.
      They were both panting heavily, Yui looking up at him while Suboshi was looking down--aghast--at the blanket. He hadn't meant to take it completely off.
      As Yui started to recover from the kiss, her eyes took note of the fact that he was gaping and suddenly realized he was staring at her blanket which was now on the floor.
      Suddenly, he turned a very weird shade of red.
      "Ano....I...Lady Yui, I didn't mean to..." he sputtered, his eyes glued to the floor and refusing to look at anything else.
      Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
      Suboshi's eyes was suddenly riveted at her face, looking at her like she suddenly lost a few marbles.
      Yui laughed until tears formed in her eyes. When she's had enough, she gently took his hand and placed it against her the left side of her chest.
      "I wasn't mistaken. You're still a boy."
      She smiled slightly as Suboshi's face took on an expression that hinted of a possible nosebleed.
      "Feel that?" she asked him softly.
      Suboshi gulped then forced himself to feel the rhythmic beating of her heart.
      He nodded, his brain having a bit of difficulty constucting a coherent sentence.
      Yui smiled up at him then guided his hand up and pressed it against her cheek. She savored the feel of the strong, slightly calloused hand against the silky smoothness of her cheek then pressed a soft kiss against his open palm.
      "Thank you, Suboshi," she said softly, "I'm not afraid anymore."
      She then let go of his hand and knelt down to gather the blanket around her once again.
      But before she wrapped it around her shoulders again, Suboshi caught both her hands.
      He looked down at her, his face suddenly serious.
      His hand settled on her shoulder, then ran slowly down her bare arm. Yui shivered at the touch. Then both his hands traveled down to her sides, encircling her waist. He was looking down at her body without a hint of malice in his eyes. He then pulled her close to him, enveloping her in his warmth and love. He rested his chin on top of her head saying softly:
      "I didn't think I'd see anything so beautiful in my life. Now I'm glad I waited a while longer."
      Yui looked up at him in confusion, blushing.
      "What...what do you mean?"
      Suboshi looked down at her with a sad smile on his face.
      "Retribution."
      She frowned and he placed a gentle kiss on top of her head. "Nevermind. It's nothing."
      He carefully replaced the blanket around her shoulders. Then he guided her towards the fire. He sat down and gently pulled her down in front of him. Yui leaned back against him and sighed. They both stared at the fire in silence.
      Yui shifted slightly againts him and closed her eyes. The relaxed, comfortable atmosphere made her eyes feel heavy.
      "Could we stay like this forever?" she asked him sleepily.
      Suboshi arms tightened around her.
      'I'm not sure..." he whispered, "But we have tonight don't we?"
      "Ummm..." Yui nodded affirmatively though she didn't quite understand what he just said, her drowsiness getting the better of her.
      They once again lapsed into silence and Suboshi smiled to himself as he looked down at the Yui. She had fallen asleep.
      He ran a hand through her short silky hair and inhaled deeply as his fingers stirred up the fragrance of rose petals from her hair.
      "Aishiteru, Yui-sama," he said softly, "And in case I might fail to say it, don't forget I said goodbye as well."
      He buried his face in the crook of her neck and lost himself in the arms of sleep, completely oblivious to the single track of tear that trickled down Yui's cheek.

Author's Notes:
Hihi! I know...crap, crap, crap! I screwed this up big time. Sorry I had to put you through that. I'm just glad I got that out of my system. But I would just like to say that Suboshi is no heartless, bloodthirsty monster as most people would think. I would like to think that death is something that he welcomed. He couldn't have just gone around running guilt-free. He's human too, you know. So in this fic, I made it out in such away that Suboshi knew he was going to die. It's just a matter of time. It's his retribution and he knows it. Waaaaa! Sad! But at least he got to kiss Yui ^_^ I couldn't make them "do the deed" since Yui is still Miko and she needs to be "pure." Too bad. But even that was too much already, ne? We can't get all WAFFy with these two. So, does this mean this is how things are gonna end in Retribution too? Of course not! What would be the point of that? But I promise the ending is much more interesting than this. (A shoe comes flying out of nowhere and beans DW in the head) DW: Alright, alright, I'm shutting up now! Yeah... whatever. Umm...please don't flame me because of this ok? Comments? Suggestions? Violent reactions? Write me: [email protected]

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