| Official |
| � I want to make it official� � I said to my self, I look at my television screen after watching Kinpachi Sensei. I was alone in my room, the night sky draws the cold brisk air into my room. I went to my computer, which is mostly on every single day.
I turn off my instant away message and went back online. This is mostly where my source of information and help comes from. Before I did anything else, I started to search the web and see what�s happening on the gaming boards. Soon my friend, XxxTrueAmericanGirlxXx, came online. �Hello� I instant message her. �Hey� She instant message me back. �Hrm, can I ask you a question?� �Oh sure� what is it?� �I was thinking, how do I ask this girl to go out with me?� �Hrm� from a girl�s prespetive?� �Yeah�� �Well� you should be your self� that I know� your words should be simple and clean. That shows honesty and trust� and to be alone� well at least a few to none at all.� �So I should do it in person?� �Yes, that�s the right way to do it� not over a phone for you don�t show your true feelings.� �Ah I see�� �But are you doing this for the sake of going out? Or to have the relationship?� �I want to feel warm again.� �Are you cold?� �Yes� �You�re smart, you will know what to do.� �Hrm� but� I am not brave� I don�t have courage� and I am expecting my self to be my self?� �Yes� �I will see what happen. I�ll be going off now, I am go and think about it.� �Alright, good night.� �Bai� I logged off and turn off my computer. I left my light on, I�ll be thinking all night long. It was very cold, I check my time to see it�s 11:00. �Her, she so beautiful, I can imagine but not feel. I just only hope I can be with her, to pretend to touch her. To feel the warmth again in my heart. It�s so cold, yet it is spring. Maybe I am still in the season of winter. That isn�t right, only her could make me warm. Why does my heart is controlled by another person. Rather than me.� These thoughts run through my mind. Sometimes I think about the future, how it would be. Knowing she was right by my side. She was right there holding my hand. Only if I had courage. I slept awhile, I do not know how long. I open my eyes to see 5:00. It was the next day, Thursday. I just hope, I hope I can be with her today. That day started out usually, I went to my boring social studies class in the morning. Took at recess break, then headed off to physics, it�s a class where you have to pay attention but you�ll eventually fall asleep. Luckily recess was next and I could hang with around with my friends. �Yo� I said to my guys. Giving each one a slap in their hands. A greeting we just pick up to say hello. They all responded with the same gesture. �We going pearls tomorrow?� �Maybe, we�ll see what happens today.� I responded �Aight,� �Yeah, I got some challenges for Initial D, so might as well go.� �Kay� �Just meet me at my house and we go from there.� At that time the bell right, it seem like a short recess. I walk with my friend back across campus. We talk while going back. �So hows it going?� He asked me. �Not bad, I think maybe next week.� �You better do it fast before it�s too late.� �I know, I Know. Don�t hassle me.� �Heh� alright� We split to our classes. As I step inside my class I quickly look to see if she was at her seat. She wasn�t there, so I took my seat right across. She was on the same table, and I was a bit happy about that fact.At that time, I wasn�t looking for love anyway. I was looking for my self. Looking for what I was to become. I mature later, I mature to someone who was ready. Ready for this venture of love. Sadly, every girl I come upon on, thinks me as a friend rather than a person who will cherish them in my arms. Sophomore year she was again in my homeroom, but now in my health class. The project was during the good values of dating. She was my partner, I wonder why during that time she choose me. I let it go though, thought it was nothing. I though she choose me because she didn�t had any partner and I am the only one that sat behind her. Now Junior year, she ask me if I am going to prom. I said no because I didn�t have anyone to take. But now� when she ask me that single question. I think more about why did she ask me first, before anyone else. She later ask my other friend, but did she do it to cover it up. I am thinking that was another fluke. |
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