| Painting |
| A brush streaks across my canvas, although there is no paint on the raven tip of the brush. No inspiration, no feeling, �what is this?� I ask my self. I look to creamy canvas� nothing� nothing of anything I could think of� it was just a white sheet of paper� standing with in my room. I look about to my other works of art, bristling with color, bristling with feeling� the feeling of love. I tuck my self on the chair I was sitting back and I look out my window. Water drops started to fall upon the window as the shade of the night sky looms over my house, my room. Soon I remembered that day, that raining day.
I was walking with my umbrella since it was cold brisk day, as usual yet bad in a sort of way. Fei, now my girlfriend, my significant other, my lover, and etc, many names can describe her� although there is really no words to discribe her at all. She was wearing a white top with the denim skirt, and I as the plain one usually wears the kaki jeans and white shirt. The bad part is that she was walking in the rain ahead of me� going home. I followed her but every time I tried to put an umbrella over her, she pushes me aside and says � Leave me alone! � Baffeled I keep wondering and asking her what�s wrong. As I remember those parts, of a scene it gave me inspiration to pick up a brush and start to sway my canvas with colors of imagination and wonder. I still don�t know what the picture will project, yet it would either be great or something informal. I begin to sway off to my more of my memory of that day. Soon I become exasperated of her actions and wonder, did I really made her this mad? As she swings her arms side to side her bag on her back ignoring me, that I couldn�t take it anymore. I grab her wrist and hold it on tight trying to pull her into the shade of my umbrella, yet she resisted. More rain poured as the drains flooded with the water with from the streets. � Please, Fei tell me� � I said in a nice and soft voice, the way I always said things to her. Soon I begin to be running out of ink and rush to my drawers to start to see if any colors were avialable. Nothing� except my old art kit. Yes some color was with in those tubes, it�s more than better. It still wonders me that your past is always with you with in the future. I remember how the words � to seek the past to know the answers for the future � reminded me of the situation I am in. The words � LEAVE ME ALONE! � from her small throat, and with that she yanked her self out my hands and dash forward. I didn�t know what to do, to run after her or do what she says. Time slips away fast as my decision holds. Soon my umbrella flew my hands as I also dash forward, my bag swaying from side to side on my back. She turned the corner, as I was about half way to her. As I turn the corner I see she was on her knees, on the ground. Her soft, sweet lotus like voice she whispers loudly, � I�ve fallen� I don�t want to get up, let the rain drown me as I stumble upon my obsticals of life. � � Then let me drown with you� � � No� you have much better life than i� you don�t care what happens to me� you try to hel� � � I try to help but it�s hurting you, if I don�t help I�ll be still hurting you� is my life like a double edge blade?� ready to swing to anyone who comes to me?� am I a porkupine� with this delima of anybody who gets close to me becomes hurt?� � � Is it my fault? � � Yes and no� I must tell you the truth� � I said as I bent down towards her and hug her from behind� � Even if it�s your fault� even you hurt me� it alright� we�re learning, we are also human too� we must accept this� and it�s alright� you hurt me because your pushing your self away from you� and it might not be your fault because it might be� I�m trying to help you during this process. � I squeeze harder as I say my final words to think about. � Please open up your heart again� let me feel it�s emotions, it�s feelings, let me hear your own heart. � As I said my last words I could feel droplets from her not from the rain begging to fail upon my arms. I know it was hers because I feel it upon my skin. It�s warmth, I could feel it so tender yet satisfying she is still alive. And again her lotus voice projects quests for me to ask� � the chance of might� the risk� it always me� 100%� yes it�s me� it�s my fault� it is isn�t it? � That part was so vivid with in my head that I felt that I could paint another picture, my inspiration comes to me so fast at a so rapid pace. Although the one I am painting now� it seems to be almost done. � It could, and it also could be mines too, the problems, conflict, it always arises. Sometimes it�s both parties fault, but the true thing is to solve that conflict. That I want you to do for me� please for me� please stop the hurting with in us�You, and I also, us have the power to heal each other. Please call me at any time to talk� I�ll be there.� We both sat there on the hill look across to the sky to see� |
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| ^ Click To See Part A ^ |
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| ^ Click To See Part B^ |
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