BDSM

Dominance and Submission (D/s), and Sado-Masochism (SM). Clearly not everyone who might describe themselves as being interested in BDSM would enjoy all of these activities and theres no reason why they should. Its not a competition to see who can be the most depraved or do the most bizarre things. Its about finding what fulfils you, intellectually, emotionally and sexually, and then being free to enjoy it. We all have our own special kinks, preferences, and limits. As long as its consensual and between adults, then its all OK and we're all equal within BDSM.

Blindfolding someone, is a sure way to make them feel vulnerable and helpless. It also tends to de-personalise them, which is less helpful from a BDSM point-of-view. Without the normal visual input the other senses, such as touch and hearing, focus more sharply. Darkness is fertile ground for the imagination and being blindfolded can have strange effects on people. Some get quite dreamy while others may panic. Blindfolds are ideal for playing 'mind-games', where you bluff the submissive into thinking something extreme is happening. Its stating the obvious, but be careful moving a blindfolded submissive in case she trips or bumps into something. Less obvious is the fact that one of your main ways of getting feedback is denied to you because you can't see her eyes. but blindfolds are definitely fun.

clamps come in various shapes and sizes but they are all designed to cause pain through pinching or squeezing. They can include crocodile clips or even the humble clothes-pin and are applied to erogenous areas such as nipples, cocks, balls or the vulva. Weights are sometimes added to increase the intensity of the pain. The pain caused by, for example, a stroke with the cane is transitory but something like a clamp applied to sensitive flesh causes consistent discomfort so keep checking how the person wearing it is feeling and don't forget its there. They certainly won't ! Clamps hurt most when they're removed and the longer they've been on the more they hurt. Ouch !!

An agreement which formally sets out the rules, responsibilities and limits of a Domination/submission relationship, sometimes called a slave or ownership contract. There are mixed views on the value of these contracts. Those who like them suggest that they are useful because they force parties to think carefully about what they are prepared to put into a relationship and what they expect out of it. For some this process provides a welcome sense of clarity as well as security. It can aso create a feeling of commitment and help to avoid potential points of conflict later on. Those who dislike the idea of such contracts argue that they are ultimately worthless. The basic concept fails because, unlike the legal contracts upon which they are modelled, slave contracts are totally unenforceable. Ultimately, a master will keep his slave, or a slave will agree to be owned, for as long as either chooses and there is no way of preventing either simply walking away from any contract whenever they feel like it. Some would argue that the only thing strong enough to really bind a Master and slave together is love because it is the only thing which has the power to keep you tied to another person when convenience or common-sense tells you to leave. If a contract feels right for you then it probably is, but don't rely on it too much. It is certainly no substitute for the communication between dominant and submissive that is essential both before and during any committed D/s relationship.

A collar in physical appearance is usually like a dog-collar, made of leather or a chain, and worn around the neck (although some favour a symbolic thin gold chain for everyday wear). The conventional collar may be used as a prop in BDSM 'play' to denote a negotiated submission but it can also have a much deeper and more permanent meaning than that. a collar is the outward symbol of a deep commitment, signifying that the submissive is owned by a particular dominant. A 'collaring' is the ceremony in which a submissive formally accepts the dominant's "collar" and becomes "officially" owned. It is the BDSM equivalent of a wedding, and may be witnessed by friends and others in the lifestyle. In the same way as a wedding ring is the visible sign of one kind of highly committed and exclusive relationship, so a collar can signify at least an equal degree of commitment between some dominants and their submissives. 'Collaring' someone can therefore be a serious step in a relationship and shouldn't be taken lightly. It involves the dominant in accepting responsibility for the 'owned' person, and the submissive in giving absolute submission and loyalty to the dominant. Any 'dominant' who 'collars' someone he barely knows because he thinks its 'cool' to have a slave hasn't a clue about the significance of what he's doing and should be avoided like the plague. Any submissive who accepts a collar lightly and then betrays or knowingly dishonours her /his Dom by her / his behaviour really isn't worth much as a submissive. It all depends if you believe in it. If you do, then collaring is very important. If you don't, then its just one of the many props of an exciting 'dressing up to play BDSM' game.

Domination and submission are about more than a good spanking or a quick splash of hot wax on your dangly bits. Like an iceberg, much of what is happening is not visible. Indeed, in some circumstances, or with some people, the primary focus of a D/s relationship or session may be mental domination rather than anything physical. In their benign BDSM sense, 'head games' can involve psychological manipulation by the dominant intended to intensify the erotic or emotional response of the submissive through heightened anticipation and fear.and erotic play, what ever you choose always keep yourself safe and choose a safe word you and your Dom understand to mean STOP,