PARIAHS
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I...um...don't know what this is. I just dug it out of the cabinet beside the computer and haven't even read it yet. All I know is it appears to be unfinished and it has written at the top, "Mar. 19--." Let's see where it goes!
It is dark in the woods as I run w/ my nose to the ground. I am lucky my eyes are sharp as the pale, watery moon affords so little light between these tall trees, even in winter; yet I hope to find some prey to bring back to Mistress before the bands of silver lining the snow die away completely. It has been a difficult winter for the two of us. My Mistress, she used to be a great huntress, far surpassing me; yet now she is forced to stay behind while I hunt for us both. Yet the hunting here is lean. I know we will have to move on soon. Not only for more food, but to escape those who still follow us. I stop--back up. What was that--? Yes, a rabbit has passed through here, & not too long ago. If I hurry perhaps I can catch it. I turn right & follow the scent as it meanders thru the woods, & finally, near a fast-running brook not frozen over, I see it. It sees me as well, & its whiskers twitch in the moonlight. It is exhausted. I can tell from the way its sides swell out & in. Its eyes are glinting black with the fear that it won't escape after all. As I approach at a lope I almost feel sorry for it. After all, it is only trying to avoid its enemy, the same way my Mistress & I are. I can't allow my emotions to hinder me. As I close in the rabbit is already turning to flee--where? All that lies before it is the stream. It has nowhere else to go. Before I can catch it it jumps in, paddling frenziedly to get across. My jaws snap on only air. It appears I must follow. I do. My teeth chatter, the icy water squeezing through my fur as it pummels us further downstream. The rabbit makes it to the other side & scrambles ashore, shivering & wet. It pauses briefly to shake itself off. That's its mistake. My jaws are clamped around its neck before it can even scream. I prefer it that way. There is no sound of the woods more soul shattering than a rabbit's scream. I try to be as careful as I can, careful that little blood seeps out. What blood does I lick up. It tastes sharp & warm on my tongue; warm from the cold. I follow my own trail back, across the stream, through the woods, to the small cave I share w/ Mistress. I step in the tracks I left before. Perhaps it will give us time. She is there, waiting for me. I wag my tail to see her & she smiles. She holds out her hands for the rabbit & her long black hair trails down over her arms. She wears the furs of all the prey I have killed for her; it is the only way she can keep warm, until the spring comes. The pelts form an oddly colored jigsaw across her body. "Good Dolfa," she greets me, taking the rabbit & scratching my ears. I must not bark, as it could attract attention, though I want to. Instead I settle for that simple thought-language we all share, when mere words won't suffice. Good evening, Mistress. "You did well today. Let's cook this & then we shall eat & rest until the light." I could find no other prey, I tell her. The rabbit seems so small for the both of us. You eat, Mistress, to keep up your strength. You have only 2 legs to travel on, while I have 4. "Nonsense," she says, glancing at me w/ tawny golden eyes. "There's enough for us both. And you need your strength to help me thru this wood. I can no longer track as I used to." Of course she is right. Without me she is helpless as a newborn pup w/ eyes still closed. I lick her hand & sit by the entrance while she stokes the fire, shielded from the wind & any enemy eyes by a wall of branches, & skins & roasts the rabbit. She prefers her food cooked now, & I tolerate it. After we have eaten she puts out the fire & we go inside. I curl up against her to keep her warm. Her mind is less troubled than mine; she is asleep long before my eyes close.
I am growling softly & on my feet before I'm even fully awake. My eyes fly open & I look around. At 1st I see nothing; then a shadow moves at the entrance to the cave. I can barely hear the soft sound of snow being compacted beneath otherwise silent paws. My fur bristles & prickles along my back. I catch a scent. Wolf scent. Mistress murmurs, turns slightly. She is still asleep. I pad slowly up to the entrance & peer out. My muscles tense, though it is not as bad as I'd feared. One wolf only is circling the cave, sniffing at the cold firepit, the scattered rabbit bones, the clear imprint of my tracks. He raises his head & notices me. I leap at his throat before he can attack, as I expect him to. He manages to duck; I get the back of his neck instead. It'll have to do. I sink my teeth in as deep as I can & shake my head from side to side. He yelps & tries to break free; when I let go he bites at my shoulder. I rake him across the face & he yelps like a pup. I finally notice how young he is, hardly a match for me; the Alpha would never send someone so young. This wolf has come on his own--rather foolishly, at that. I snarl at him & he gives in. He hasn't put up much of a fight. He drops & rolls onto his back, whining, baring his belly. His ears are pressed back flat against his head. He makes small simpering noises as I stand over him, my teeth bared. "The Alpha didn't send you," I tell him, growling, "so I'll spare your life. This time. But as soon as you go back you tell him he's not getting us--not w/out a good fight, one much better than the thrashing I gave you." His ears rise up as he realizes I'm not going to kill him. I step back to let him up; he shrinks away from me several ft. w/ his tail still curled between his legs, looking me up & down. I recognize him now; not one of the Alpha's lieutenants, just a straggly outskirter. An omega. Quite like what I am now. "The Alpha didn't send me," he confirms. "But he is coming, & will be here soon. You'd best watch your tail, Dolfa." He glances over my shoulder. I take my eyes off him just long enough to see my Mistress peering out of the cave. The sound of our fighting must have woken her up. I look back at the omega. He bows so that his hindquarters are in the air, wagging his tail, looking almost playful. "Though it is not you he's looking for," he continues. And then, in the thought-language, It's her. I growl again, moving toward him. He won't get her. The omega flies to his feet & bounds away, casting a malevolent look back. We'll see, he replies. I wait until the wood is silent once more. Then I turn & pad back to Mistress. I whine & she touches my shoulder. "You're hurt." Not badly, Mistress. "You're sure the pain doesn't bother you?" Not too much, Mistress. I whine softly & pace the cave entrance for a moment. It's too dangerous to stay, Mistress, I finally say. The Alpha & his pack approach. They could be here before dawn. I hear a far-off howl, deep w/in the woods, & bristle again. We should go. Quickly. "Yes, Dolfa, of course you're right." She gathers her furs around her more closely--we have no other belongings--& follows me from the cave. I sniff around a bit to get my bearings & together, her hand lightly touching my back, we tread off into the dark.
I know we are being followed. As we pass thru shadows & into the last of the moonlight I can hear their footfalls in the distance, & though when I look & don't see them I feel their presence always just so far back that they may as well be invisible as the air around us. The very woods that protect us shield them from our sight. It is both blessing & curse. We cannot go on forever. My shoulder aches w/ the cold & my continuous movement; Mistress is not suited for long periods of travel in this cold. Her feet bleed & leave a trail for the Alpha & his pack to follow. We may as well be marking the trees for their convenience. To keep her mind occupied from her hurting feet, I talk. How long has it been now, Mistress? "The passing of 2 moons. 2 moons since I last left." She says left, though I know it's not exactly the word she means to use. Do you regret it at all? "Regret?" She looks down at me as we limp thru the snow. "It was my choice. I knew the risks of leaving, of asking for what I did & receiving it. I should not regret." There is silence for a while. Then I speak. But you do. She closes her eyes briefly. I guide her thru her own dark. "Yes," she replies. "I do. I'm not suited to this life, I realize now. It's too difficult. Too different from what I'm used to. I'm not sure how much longer we can go. The Alpha will not stop until he reaches us. Though I am grateful for the chance to have met you, Dolfa." I wag my tail. It's good to hear her say that, though I agree the going is becoming too hard for her. Being wolf, I could easily continue wandering for ages, as I always have, if only my shoulder could heal. Yet she is not of my kind, & has given up much; she grows weaker before my eyes. I try not to let my anxiety surface in my thoughts. Just a little way further, Mistress, & we'll rest. Just a little way further. My fur prickles at the feeling of the Alpha being so near. But we must stop. We do so in a small, tight cluster of trees near a slope. The moonlight has gone. Mistress sinks to the ground, her furs rising up around her. I lie down nearby to lick my wound. The air grows thick w/ tension & silence. I take notice of no night creatures stirring. The silence stings my ears worse than the cold. After an interminable wait the moment I've expected arrives. A stick snaps. I leap to my feet, growling. The noise was purposeful. No wolf would accidentally step upon a stick like that. The Alpha...
END |
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