| Disclaimers: Don't own, don't sue...not makin' money, boo-hoo. WARNINGS!!!: Mindless Relena-Bashing cuz it makes the world go 'round! Melting Quatre, plotless, WOASR, I was bored. That's it. Author Note: This is outta the blue, like any other fic. It was originally an e-mail. Elaine chose the color red for some reason, and I don't know what she was talking about either. So...she doesn't really like Q-man...or Relena. So, I put this thing together, and figured, "What the jigoku! I'll post the thing." So, that's it. C'ya @ the bottom. Dedications: This is dedicated to Elaine Wang aka Altojaz. Just for bein' my friend! ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ Extermination Problems By: S27 ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ Quatre- *Sitting on couch* Why does she (referring to Elaine) always have to torment *ME*? I mean... I didn't DO anything to her. Melissa- *Eats pocky* Maybe because you're weaker than her. Quatre- I'm not weak. Melissa- Not 'physically'. 'Mentally'. *S27 snickers because Elaine's gonna 'TRY' to lay a punch on her for just puttin' that down* Quatre- Oh? Is that so? Duo- *Enters* He~y! What's happenin'? Melissa- Nothing really. But you ran outta pocky. *Gets up, and goes for a soda* Duo- WHAT?!?! Trowa- ... Heero- Shut up. Duo- You ALWAYS say that! Can't you be A LITTLE more elaborate? Heero- ...Sure... Duo- .............I'm wai~ting. Heero- Omae o korosu. Annoying Shierking Voice- Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!!!! Duo- Oh boy. Quatre- Red? Red? RED?! Why? Melissa- Mentally...I guess. *Comes back, and sits in a recliner* Trowa- ... Melissa- Oh look. A pest is trying to break through the safe house window. That's not new. A.S.V.- Heeeeeeeeeeero! *CRASH* Why haven't you killed me yet?! Duo- What kind of question is THAT?! HEY! And that was a NEW window! Relena- You keep out of this you moron! Duo- Heero! She called me a moron! Heero- .........Hn........Both of you shut up..... Duo- Is that ALL you can say?! Heero- ...Yeah... Trowa- ....... Melissa- Okay...who let the pest in with out permittion? Quatre- ......Red? Red? Why red? Out of ALL of the colors...why red? Melissa- I gotta call the exterminator now. *Picks up phone and dials a number* Hello? Hi. Yes. There's a pest in here, and it's VERY annoying. It's a Relena. It shierks, and- Hello? Hel- *CRASH!!! The door is knocked open...flat...as Elaine Wang stomps over it in her complete Wang 5000 plus spray for pest, and gas mask. Rays of light outline her body as scary music plays...then fades pathetically* Elaine- Hot chi-ha-ha! That's what I get for using alkine batteries from the dollor store! *kicks the dead radio, Elaine enters* Duo- Well! There goes the door! A window, and a door. All in the same night! Perfect! What next? The ceiling??? Heero- ...Shut up... Elaine- Okay...What's it look like? And where is it?! Melissa- *Totally forgetting Quatre* It's a blonde with blue eyes, and it should be SOMEWHERE in this room. Elaine- Excellent! *Approaches Quatre* Ah ha! The pest!!! *Sprays Quatre* Quatre- AHHHH!!! SAVE ME TROWA! I'M MELTING!!! *Poor Quatre melts into a pile of... 'Quatre goo'* Trowa- ......Ew...... Melissa- HEY!!! That's not the pest!!! Elaine- *Shrugs* Hmm...It's not? Melissa- What do ya mean 'Hmm...It's not'?! That's Quatre! You just killed my friend! Elaine- Oh? I thought that you called me to exterminate a Quatre. Melissa- It was a RELENA! Elaine- Well? Where is it, and what does it look like? Melissa- *Covers ears as a shierking voice fills the room* It's that shierking thing! Elaine- Eh, eh, eh...*Runs up to Relena, and sprays her* Relena- HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrccccc cccccrrrrrrrrrroooooooooccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk(crock)*Melts into a puddle of...'Relena goo'* Elaine- That'll be 50 bucks. Melissa- *Turns to Duo* Duo? You got any spare change? Duo- Is that what you call spare change?! 50 bucks?! *Turns to Elaine* Are you CRAZY???!!! Melissa- Don't answer that. Elaine- Do you have the money or not? Melissa- Why 50? It's 25 bucks for one. Elaine- I exterminated 2 you moron. Melissa- But I called you to extermine 1! 1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1, oooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee!!! Elaine- But I extermined 2! 2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2, tttttttttttttwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooo!!! Melissa- What the bananas! You charge us extra for your inconvince!!! INJUSTICE!!! Shimatta on a gazel's uncle! I sound like Wufei!!! Elaine- I still killed two. So pay up. This spray is hard to get! Trowa- *Hands Elaine 50 bucks* .... Elaine- Thanks! Melissa+Duo- *Sweat drop and left eye twitches dramatically* But? But? But- Heero? What do YOU have to say 'bout all of this? Heero- ...She got rid of Relena didn't she? M+D- *Face fault* Go figure. Heero- ...What was the point of that? Duo- ...*Shrugs* I dunno... Melissa- ...My life sucks... Heero- That's YOUR problem... Elaine- Ahh! *Sees Relena germs* AHH!!! *Sprays chair, table, couch, and window. Then takes another chair, and throws it at the wall and sprays it* AHHH!!! RELENA GERMS!!! Duo- There goes the chair, and the wall. Wufei- *Enters room* What's goin' on?! Heero- ...Extermination problems... Trowa- ......... ~Owari~ ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ Author Note: That was it. All feedback welcomed. Frankly, I think Q is cool, but since I wrote this for Altojaz, she can get a kick outta it. R&R! Ja~!!! |