| Disclaimer- We don't own Gundam Wing. We're not making money either, and I (S27) Do NOT deny the fact that sometimes killing Altojaz isn't such a bad idea...at times. Heh, heh, heh- Oh boy. Warnings- Umm...Relena isn't our favorite character? So...there's just a little Relena bashing. Not a whole lot if I remember correctly...Sorry Relena fans! Author's Notes- If you don't like it or want to flame us for NO good reason sent it to [email protected]. Hope you enjoy. Part 6...(Written by Elaine or at least the first half) ^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^ *Next, next, next, next, NEXT Sunday (The day of the reports)* Duo: I can't find what I'm looking for. Dang!! *Searching noises are heard* Gotta be here somewhere. Miss Noin: Well hello, Duo, what are you doing here so early today?? Duo: You forgot again, Noin. I live here. Miss Noin: *sweatdrops* Oh, yeah. *QUATRE!!! Enters* Quatre: HI!!! *Cheery smile is on his face...as always...sometimes...most of the times... AW HECK!!! Usally!!!* Miss Noin: Hello. *Trowa enters* Trowa: *on board, as usual* Good morning. Duo: *Head emerges form the closet* Hey! Tro-man! Wuz up? Trowa: *Looks up, on board* Not much, and don't call me that! *Quatre translates* Shrieking Voice That NO ONE (Except for Relena Fans) Can Stand: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee*Inhales* wwwwwwwooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! *pant, pant* You in hewe?? *Relena (surprise, surprise) appears* *Duo is chaotically throwing things out of the closet now, and a shoe hits Relena's head...we can't determine if it was on accident or not* Relena: Owwwwwwwww!!!!! Mowmy!!!!!!!!! *Holds her head, lightly sobs* Duo: Ah ha!! I found it!! *He pulls out a suit of Greek armor with bronze helmet, and everything. Everyone sweatdrops* *Heero darts in* Relena: Heewwwwwwwwwwoo!!! You'we hewe!!!! *Heero takes one look at Relena and 'tip-toes' back out. Then shuts the door... and runs for his dear life* Relena: Come back Heeewo come back!!!!!!!! *Runs after Heero* Miss Noin: Everyone, be seated. Okay...To clear one thing up. You know how Mr. Treize wanted you guys to do a pay? *Everybody nods...sadly* Well...forget it, cause I don't have enough money for the asparin to last me through the hour. *Everybody cheers* ANYWAYS! Today, as you quite remember, we will be doing reports. Wufei: *Talking as he is walking in* Reports??? What reports?? Miss Noin: You mean you forgot!!! WUFEI! DISHONOR!!! No!!! I'm sounding like 1st graders now!!! Wufei: No, I didn't forget, I just didn't remember, woman. *Everyone face faults* *Heero enters* Heero: *Walks to closet and goes in* If Relena asks, I went home. Duo: Okay, got it. If Relena asks, we say you're in the closet. *Heero gives classic Death Glare* Trowa: *On board* Shouldn't we start class?? *Quatre translates* Miss Noin: Yes, we should. Everyone sit down. Quatre: But Relena isn't here. Heero: *From closet* And that's a BAD thing? Duo: What did you do?? Heero: I didn't shoot her this time. Duo: Awwwwwwww, man!!! Wufei: DISHONOR!!!!!! Duo: Wufei? Wufei: What?? Duo: Shut up. Heero: *From the closet* HEY!!! Duo! That's MY line! Duo: Who cares! Wufei! Shut up! Wufei: Never!!! INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The day I shut up is the day that JUSTICE is served! Quatre: But you guys! We shouldn't be fighting at ALL!!! Miss Noin: Everyone!!! We need to start class!!!!!!!!!! *Relena walks in* Relena: Has anywon seen Heewo?? Duo: Yeah, he's in the-MPHHHHHHHHHHH!! Quatre: *Covering Duo's mouth* He went HOME. *meaningful glance at Duo, and let's go* Duo: Yeah. He went home. Cause you scared him again. He probably wet his spandex because of YOU! Relena: That's AWFUW! Trowa: *On board* Do you think we should let him out soon??? He could suffocate and pass out, you know. Just because he didn't last time......... *no one pays any attention to him so he starts banging the board on Duo's head. Duo: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE...??? TRO~WA!!! WHY DON'T YOU USE QUATRE'S HEAD???!!! Wufei: Cause he used his head LAST time! *Quatre translates* Miss Noin: Like it or not, we are going to start. Wufei, you first. Get up front and start your report!!!! Wufei: *Gets up front* I really don't know why we have to do this WEAK report. *He starts....* Miss Noin: Where's your costume?? Wufei: I didn't bring one. Costumes are WEAK and DISHONORABLE. Duo: That's just his way of saying- Miss Noin, I'm an idiot. I didn't remember the report, so I'm making up cheap excuses. Ya know? The ones from that book that was never published? 'How to Keep your teacher from flunking you'? As Wufei continues I know that you won't flunk me. So I'm going to say stupid things off the top of my head! Wufei: *Glares* Shut up Duo. Miss Noin: Whatever. Wufei. Start your report! *Wufei launches into lengthy report...about 10 minutes long* Miss Noin: Done?? Wufei: Yes. My speech about 'Abraham Lincoln' is complete. Miss Noin: At least it's history...*Yawns* *Duo is facedown on desk, snoring away...talking about Shinigami, the Cootie Monster, and talking toilets* Wufei: Yo!!! WOMAN!!! Wake up you DISHONORABLE- Miss Noin: Next!!! Duo!!! *Noin manages to haul him up from his seat* Duo: Don't touch me!!! You have cooties!!! You're possessed by talking toilets!!! *Goes up to the front, and puts on Greek armor* I am Goliath. He isn't as good as Shinigami. But I guess he'll do. Why don't they have Shinigami in the bible? I mean...it gets boring. Okay. I am Goliah- Heero: *From closet* You!! You puny thing are Goliath?!?!?!!? Duo: Shut up, Heero!!! Or I'll tell Relena that you're in the closet!!!! Relena: Did you just sa-? He's hewe!! He's hewe!!!! *Runs,and closet and opens it* Heero: *Runs out* Duo!!! OMAE O KOROSU!!!! Duo: What did I do? I'm innocent!! I mean it! I- Whoops. I blew it...oh well! Heero: *Classic Death Glare* Duo: You can't hurt me!!! I'm in a church. I'm in THE church! *Holds up his crucifix* Stay back! I'm not the one who wants to glomp you!!! Heero: Hmm... Trowa: *On board* He has a point. *Q translates* Miss Noin: Heero. Sit down. *Heero glares, and then sits down in the only vacant spot, which is next to Relena (don,don, don!!!)* Relena: Heewo!!! You'we so sweet!!! Give me a kiss!!! I knew that you woved me!!! Koi! Duo: I think I'm gonna be sick... Relena: Heewo...kiss me! Duo: I KNOW that I'm gonna be sick. *Heero takes out a gun, and extends his arm as far as it could go, and cocks it* Relena: *The gun is now pressed against her head, barrel first* Heewo, what awe you doing?? Heero: If you wanna stay alive, I suggest that you stay this far away from me. Relena: Oh, Heewo! *Kisses the barrel of the gun* You'we SO sweet!!! I know that you only want to pwotect me fwom that MEAN GOWIATH Duo! *Smiles* *Everyone face faults* Duo: Ahem!!! I am Goliath. I will smash everyone as...Shinigami!!! Trowa: *On board* What??? Quatre: *Translates, then adds* Duo, Shinigami wasn't invented yet. Duo: *Crestfallen* Yeah, *A gigantis grins appears on his face* but who says that he can't be alive? *Everybody face faults* So, anyway, I get killed. *Falls to ground* Owww!! This armor hurts!!! Wufei: Serves you right, woman. Duo: *On ground* I am not a woman!!! The End. *Gets up* I...am...SHINIGAMI!!!! Batteries not included. *Everybody face faults* Fine. You want the batteries? You pay more. *Everybody face faults* Would you people make up your minds? Quatre: About what? Duo: About- Miss Noin: Duo. Sit down. Next. Quatre. Quatre: *Gets up* I am Noah. *Quatre is wearing a white shirt under a potato sack with an opening in the center that has 2 holes in the side of it, complete with a rope belt* Noah was a kind man. God told him...something... And he gathered some animals, and put them on a BIG canoe-I mean boat. There was a flood. I know that it lasted over an hour. Noah did what God told him to do which was...something. Noah and the people on his ca-boat got off, and lived their lives like nothing ever happened. The end. Miss Noin: Uh...ooo~kay...you may sit down. Umm...Relena! You're next! Relena: Okay. Umm...I am 'The Viwgin Mothew Mawy'. What's a viwgin? Duo: Someone who hasn't had se-MMMPPPHHH!!!! Miss NOIN!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU TALKING TOILET INFESTED WOMAN WITH COOOOOOOOOTIES!!!!! HEPL! THE TEACHER IS...IS...IS... INFESTINGMEWITHCOOTIES!!!!!!! Wufei: I didn't think that he could slur things together like that! Miss Noin: Now Duo! This is religion class! And that is NOT today's suject! Duo: *Shrugs* I was only going to- FORGET IT!!! WOMEN ARE HOPELESS!!! Wufei: Watch what you call yourself MISS Maxwell! Duo: I am NOT MISS MAXWELL!!! But that DOES sound better than 'Mr. Maxwell'! *Everybody face faults* Relena: Wight, now Mawy was the mother of Jwesus. God told hew to have Jwesus. So she did. And she was SO hawpy because her husband was 'Jo-Heewoseph'! And she wived hawpily evew aftew! The end!! Duo: Aren't you lucky Heero!!! Heero: Omae o korosu. Duo: Yeah, whatever. *Yawns* We've all heard THAT before. Not that we- Miss Noin: Shut up Duo. Well...there WERE some false parts in your report, but you get the point. Next! Heero Yuy sir. Oh, and don't kill anybody during this as a plot. *Heero face faults, and sighs* Heero: I am 'SUPPOSE' *Put quotations around the word 'suppose'* to be God. Not 'Jo-Heeroseph'. I will never, ever, ever, EVERx1,000,000,000,000,000 be 'Jo-Heeroseph'. Relena: I'm SO hawpy for you 'JO-HEEWOSEPH'!!! Duo: Does she have a mental block or somethin'? And how much is THAT number? Quatre- Duo! I don't have that many fingers! Wufei- Dishonor. Tisk, tisk. Tis a VERY sad tale. Trowa: *On board* You don't have that many fingers either. *Wufei reads board to himself* Wufei: So? I can always BUY more. Yeah! I found this store...*Trails off while Quatre turns pale* Relena: Oh 'Jo-Heewoseph'! Heero: Omae o korosu. Miss Noin: Quiet!!! Heero: Miss Noin! Relena's calling me names! Can I kill her? Miss Noin: Absolutly NOT. Heero: Aww man! Anyway. *Looks at his paper and, and starts to read* God was formed by intergalactic space creatures from another galaxy. The creators of God are called Duonia, and still live today, and their living? Well, they star on the 'Andy Griffin Sho-UGH!!! What kind of CRAP is this??? *Pause* DUO!!! Duo: Uh...You shouldn't...uh...Ask ME of all people for help on your homework...! I guess...? Heero: I what? I asked YOU for help? >I must be losin' it< Duo: No...I...uh...just switched papers with you behind everybody's back! Heero: You WHAT?!?! Relena: It's alright! Heero: Omae o korosu. Relena: I wove you too!!! Heero: ... Duo: Only one thing to do. MISS NOIN!!! Relena's cussin' Heero out!!! Miss Noin: That's nice Duo. Heero. Continue. This is getting interesting. *Everyone stares blankly at her* Uh...umm... Duo: She's lose it. EVERYBODY'S LOST IT!!! WE'RE ALL LOST!!! *Sniff...pause...a great big smile appears* Oh well! At least I don't have cooties! Heero: Hn... Miss Noin: I mean...Heero! Where did you get this crap? Make it up of the top of your head!!! NOW!!! Heero: Right. I don't believe in him, but...He was a creator. WAS a creator. He created things. Why Relena was created? That was either a mistake, or he just wanted to get my blood pressure REALLY high at age 6...No...that's why Duo was created..anyway- Duo: Well I love you too!!! *Crosses his arms, and pouts* Relena: NUH-UH!!!! I WOVE HIM!!! HE'S MINWE!!! Trowa: *On board* He was being sarcastic since Heero was insulting him. *Quatre reads to Relena* Relena: I knew thwat. Heero: God created junk...The end. Duo: HEY! You don't have a costume!!! Wufei: Because they're WEAK!!! Costumes are weaker than weak! They're the weakest of weaker weak than weakest! So weak that they're the weakest weak of the weakest weak of the weak! Quatre and Duo: Wha...??? All I caught was the word 'weak'. Heero: *Ignores Wufei* How am I suppose to know what he wears? What?! You want me to strip?! Miss Noin: That's enough!!! Now Heero, sit down. Trowa. Your turn. Trowa: *Nods his head, and steps up. On board...while Quatre translates everything...for Duo, but since everyone is too lazy to read- WHATEVER!!!* I am God...also. He created the world, and other stuff. You can find out the other stuff that he made...in the library...or anywhere else. The end. Miss Noin: *Looks at clock* Almost time to go!! Very good Trowa. Very educational! Sit down. Okay! You may all visit until I dismiss you! And that would be right now! So go! Get out! LEAVE! I wouldn't mind if you didn't come next week!!! Bye! *Tries to shove 6 little children out of the door* Leave this class now! Duo: What's in it for us? Miss Noin: Oh...I don't know. Free time next week...candy...brownies...chocolate- Duo: We're goin'! We're goin'! *Stops, and points* But you have to prom- Miss Noin: Get out! >I wonder why they're not in a hurry to leave< Wufei: Weak onna that doesn't have any- *Cut short as the class is forced out of the room* Duo: We're out! Ya happy??? Miss Noin: If you don't go NOW...then...I'll...make you kiss...RELENA!!! Duo: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *Runs in cirles, an figure 8s then comes back to join the rest of his classmates...expressionless...JUST LIKE HEERO!!!* Heero: What was the point of that? Duo: Uh...get up? Get out? Get exercise? Heero: Hn... Duo: What? You want me to say 'Got Milk'? Miss Noin: Yes! Now get out! Or you'll have to do 987,654,321 weeks of homework! Duo: That's not long. *Everybody sweat drops* It's only this much. See? *Holds up NO finger* Everybody: No. Duo: Oh well! You're lost! *Everybody face faults* What? Do I have something on my face? Miss Noin: Leave! *Everybody shrugs and leaves Noin alone. Once more at the end of every class... 6 little figures are making a scene. The usual. Running around yelling about how Noin is evil, weak women, Shinigami, semi-automatic machine guns, kisses wanted, ... , and of course- You guys! We shouldn't be fighting at all!!! This lasted for about 15 minutes... usually* Miss Noin: *Smirks* ...And homework will be given as an award. Duo- We heard that!!! To Be Continued... "~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~" That was part 6...try not to flame us TOO much. Puh-leeze review! We need suggestions for the next part. Help us! Please give us SOME ideas. Putt 'em in your review if you have any! Thanks for reading! -Altojaz+S27 |