Disclaimers- Don't own, want to buy, don't sue, no money, boo-hoo. Warnings- RELENA-BASHING!!! MAJOR OOC!!! (Trowa wouldn't talk as much, etc.) WOASR!!! (Written on a sugar rush!) More OOC! AU because obviously Melissa can not meet the Gundam Boys. Authors' Notes- We're gonna die cause Elaine is gonna kill us. Don't flame too much. Forgive any mistakes. D45 and S27's *THE TALE OF HEERONATOR AND HODINI ELAINE THE PAIN* |*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*| Duo- What? What'd I miss? Melissa- Nothing important. Duo-Then what? Melissa- Elaine thinks that Heero is cute, and Heero has the hots for Elaine! Duo- You're right. It is nothing. You wanna know what's big? Melissa- What? Duo- You're dogs are outta dog food! Melissa- OH NO!!! That is big! CAll 911! Call 911! Call my parents! Call my lawyer! Call my friends! Call the animal shelter! Call everybody! Duo- Right. Tell your dad to buy some more dog food tonight. Got it. Melissa- Thanks. Duo- This is a sad world. Elaine and Heero are ga-ga over each other. Relena's gonna be ticked. Trowa likes ALL of Quatre's sisters. Quatre is in love with Catherine, and Trowa knows it. And Wufat? Wufei- Wu-FEI! Wu-FEI!!! Melissa- Yeah! We know! It's Wufat! Duo- Wufat hits on every single babe out there. Melissa- You're right. The world is sad! NOTHING GOOD IS ON SUNDAYS!!! Duo- There's wrestling. I think. Wufei- Why is everybody holding that babe statement against me? Trowa- Future reference. Quatre- You like my sisters? Trowa- You like MY sister? Catherine- What's wrong with that? *Leaves* Duo- Yeah? What's wrong with that? Melissa- Why is it that you guys ALWAYS manage to pop up in my letters to people? Wufei- We have that ability. Duo- And you sir. Like BABES! Melissa- This is getting boring. Let's write a story!!!! Quatre- Like what? D+M- A story between Elaine and Heero!!!! Trowa- Figures. Melissa- It could be a 'RFO'! I love those! Duo- Only because Relena gets bashed! Then I become GAY! Ever think of it that way? Hmm? Melissa- No. So? I wouldn't really care...it's just a fic. Duo- That people read all over the nation! Melissa- But it's fun!!!! Quatre- You guys! We shouldn't be fighting at ALL!!! Duo- And what's that suppose to mean? Melissa- I'll start it! Once upon a time in a closet far, far, away lived a dude named... Heeronator. He had fallen in love with a- Duo- FROG! Melissa- Frog. The frog was- Quatre- Pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white with green poka dots! Melissa- Okay. What Quatre said. The multi-color frog loved to- Wufei- Pick up babes! Melissa- NO! THE FROG'S A GIRL! Wufei- Fine. Pick up trash. Melissa- Okay pick up trash. Her name was- Trowa- Hodini. Melissa- I was aimmin' for Ostioporosis Catalog, but that's fine. Her name was Hodini Elaine. They called her that because- Trowa- She could walk on water...in the dead sea...on a surf board. Melissa- Okay by me. Hodini Elaine decided that it was about time that she went to the closet where- Duo- Heeronator- Trowa- Tight-walked. Melissa- Fine...there had been a war a- Quatre- Few seconds ago. Melissa- And the winner was- Duo- SHINIGAMI! Melissa- And Heeronator happened to be Shinigami's friend. They- Wufei- Picked up babes together! Melissa- Until one day Heeronator got- Quatre- A zit! Trowa- On his foot. Melissa- He wasn't vain. Duo- He was crazy. Melissa- He stayed in- Duo- A stinky shoe- Trowa- In the closet. Melissa- Do to the- Wufei- Babe! I mean zit. It- Quatre- was tiny- Melissa- What was the point of that? Duo- Nothing. Melissa- Heeronator saw- Duo- Elaine The Pain! Trowa- That's not her name. Duo- So? Melissa- Okay! Heeronator saw Hodini Elaine The Pain, and- Duo- RAN OVER HER WITH A SHOPPING CART!!! Trowa- Do you honestly think that there's a shopping cart in there? Duo- Yeah. Trowa- You're right. Melissa- No Duo. Heeronator accidentally bumped into her on purpose. And- Quatre- Hodini Elaine The Pain got really mad. Melissa- But then realized that- Duo- It was Heeronator the b*st*rd! Melissa- And she fell in- Quatre- A pit. Melissa- That happened to be the LOVE pit. Trowa- They fell in love got married. Got devorced, got back together, got devorced, got back together, and had- Duo- KI- Melissa- Duo! I think it would take a longer time then that! I mean, what the heck? Duo- Ri~ght... Melissa- Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain told each other their life story, but Heeronator- Trowa- Left out the part about- Duo- Releny The Weeny! Melissa- MAN! You and Trowa are just havin' SO much fun!!! Duo- And don't we know it! *Gives Trowa a high 5* Melissa- Releny The Weeny loved Heeronator, but Heeronator rejected her- Quatre- So many times that SHE got- Wufei- A babe! I mean zit! Melissa- But Releny The Weeny didn't know about the 2 until- Wufei- She went to the babe! I mean she went to the grocery store to- Quatre- Fetch a bucket of water. Duo- Releny The Weeny fell down- Trowa- And broke her crown and- Wufei- Everybody saw the babe's underwear! Melissa- Ri~ght. Anyways. After everybody saw her underwear- Duo- Shinigami kicked her butt!!! Melissa- Like wise. Then Heeronator wanted to know what happened because- Quatre- His wife- Duo- Saw- Wufei- The babe's underwear! Melissa- Heeronator saw- Wufei- The babe- Trowa- And her underwear- Duo- Then relized that it was Releny The Weeny and- Melissa- Who's writing this down? T+Q+D+W- We are! Melissa- Okay...so am I...Then Releny The Weeny got up, and saw Heeronator. She- Trowa- Yelled- Wufei- Babe! I mean- Quatre- Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaator! Here I am! Come back and- Trowa- Kill me, and- Duo- Shinigami said 'Okay!', and pushed her! Wufei- And everybody saw the babe's underwear again! Melissa- Releny The Weeny got up again and- Quatre- Saw Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain- Duo- Kissing! Melissa- And Releny The Weeny got- Quatre- Another zit! Melissa- She ran over to Heeronator and- Quatre- KISSED HIM!!! Melissa- This lead to jealousy in his- Wufei- BABE! I mean wife- Duo- So she took a carrot, and shoved it down- Wufei- The babe's underwear! Melissa- What is with you and babes??? Wufei- Nothing! I just wanted to make conversation! Melissa- Anyways! So Releny The Weeny got mad! And they had a- Duo- FOOD FIGHT!!! Melissa- Then everybody got involved! And- Trowa- At the end Hodini Elaine The Pain and Releny The Weeny were still fighting over- Duo- Old Mac Donald! Melissa- Heeronator wasn't all that happy to see- Quatre- Releny The Weeny so he- Melissa- Took out a semi-automatic machine gun, and told- Trowa- Hodini Elaine The Pain to move outta the way, and- Duo- Go let him lounge in her lingerie!!!! Melissa- Hodini Elaine The Pain disagreed with her soul-mate and- Trowa- They got devorced- Quatre- Then got back together! Duo- Then Devorced! Wufei- Then back together! Melissa- DEVORCED!!! Q+W- BACK TOGETHER!!!! T+D+M- DEVORCED!!!! Q+W- DEVORCED!!!! T+D+M- THAT'S RIGHT! DEVORCED!!!!! Quatre- Then back together. Melissa- Then Hodini Elaine The Pain went to finish her battle with- Wufei- The babe! Melissa- Releny The Weeny was positive that she could not lose because she was convinced that Heeronator LOVED her! Trowa- Until she saw Hodini Elaine The Pain kissing- Duo- Heeronator-! Quatre- Underneath the misltoe- Duo- Last night- Trowa- We saw Heeronator- Wufei- Kissing a babe last night! Melissa- Uh...whatever. Anyways...Releny The Weeny was so heart broken that she- Duo- Called upon the powers of Shinigami! Trowa- But Shinigami got lost, in the misltoe- Melissa- On his way to help Releny The Weeny so she called- Quatre- A professional clown! Trowa- Thanks Quatre. Wufei- But he was too busy pickin' up babes so he- Duo- Called upon the Shenlong-Wufat-Babe-Nataku Lover! Melissa- But he was busy reading a book called- Duo- How to pick up babes! Wufei- So Releny The Weeny called Treizey Wastzy and- Melissa- Releny The Weeny forgot all about Heeronator, and went with Treizy Wastzy however- Duo- Before that Hodini Elaine The Pain kicked her butt!!! Wufei- Again? *Quatre nods* Trowa- Then ran off with Heeronator to the- Melissa- Bahamas! Where they lived happily ever after until Releny The Weeny- Duo- Found them again! She was- Quatre- ZIT FULL!!! Trowa- She thought that the cause of that was because- Wufei- Babes rejected her! Melissa- Wufei? Releny The Weeny is a girl. Duo- Anyways...Umm...Heeronator was sick and- Quatre- NON-ZIT FULL!!! Trowa- Of Releny The Weeny so- Melissa- He pulled out his semi-automatic machine gun and- Wufei- And picked up the babe- Melissa- Wufei's losing his memory again! Someone give him some more medicine! Forget the medicine! Trowa? *Trowa nods, and punches Wufei causing a black out* Much better. Trowa- And Heeronator shot Releny The Weeny many times- Duo- But did not die because- Quatre- Her zits saved her! Melissa- Heeronator shot until he was outta bullets and- Duo- Decided to do it MANULLY!!!! Trowa- Heeronator took a- Quatre- Bottle of zit remover then- Melissa- Drank it! Then he got high on it, and passed out. After that Hodini Elaine The Pain got really mad and- Duo- Cut Releny The Weeny in half with a SCYTHE! Trowa- She died. Quatre- When the zit remover wore off- Duo- Heeronator NEVER had a zit for the rest of his life! Melissa- That made Hodini Elaine The Pain very happy. Trowa- Until Releny The Weeny was recurrected by- Quatre- The zit builder! Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzzandBatmanZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ..... Melissa- After her recurrection- Duo- She sowed herself back together...The scythe thing? Trowa- And went after Treizey Wastzy then- Quatre- They made a kingdom of Zit builder! Melissa- The end. Elaine- Hey! What'cha doin'? Melissa- Uh...NOTHING!!! *Everybody hides there paper that they were writing the story on* Nothing at all!!! Why do you ask Hodini Elaine The Pain? I mean Enchi? Heero- *Raises eyebrow* Hodini Elaine The Pain? Melissa- What? What are you talking about? I didn't say that! Duo- Yeah! She said 'Martini's brain is lame'! Trowa- What are you doing here? Aren't you two suppose to be fighting Releny The Weeny? I mean OZ? Heero- We stopped fighting OZ last year. Elaine- Okay. What are you guys up to? Duo- Did Trowa say OZ? NAH! He said POGS! Quatre- Yeah! Weren't you fighting over POGS? Elaine- I don't have POGS. Heero- What are POGS? Melissa- Uh...we...gotta...go! Yeah! Umm- Duo- Gotta go get some more dog food! We're out! Can't let the dogs starve! Tootles! *Everybody runs...except for Wufei* Heero- Wufei? What's goin' on? Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzznothingZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZ..... Elaine- Hey! Look at these papers! *Picks up page 1, and reads* Once upon a time in a closet far, far, away lived a dude named Heeronator...Okay... Heero- Heeronator? Elaine- *Shrugs* Who fell in love with a frog. The frog was pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white with green pokadots. The multi-color frog loved to pick up trash. Her name was Hodini Elaine???!!!! UGH!!!! I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL!!!! Heero- Maybe you should read the rest of the story. *Skims through the rest of the story* UGH! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!! *From the broom closet* Duo- OW!!! Why do we have to hide here? Melissa- I dunno! Ask Trowa! Quatre- Trowa? Trowa- Someone, get off my me! Quatre- Shh!! I heard something! Trowa- That was me. Heero- *Opens the closet* What are you doing in there???!!! Duo- Uh...Looking for Heeronator? *The End...Or is it?* Heero- Only for the authors of this story! OMAE O KOROSU!!!! D45- Don't cha think we need a chance to explain? Duo- Yeah? I mean Elaine DOES think that you're cute! Elaine- SHUT UP!!! *Turns red* Why do I have to be a frog?! S27- Why do people die? Heero- Because. Duo- Exactly! Now if you would kindly let me go we'll be on our way! Quatre- You guys! Shouldn't be fighting at all!!! Trowa- Curse Wufei. CATHERINE! You just got a new target practice! |*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*| Authors' Notes- Hope you liked it. The Wufei obsessing with babe thing, it's an inside joke. So, whatever. Okay...SUGGESTIONS WANTED!!! That's all...dude-(Wufei- BABES!!!)s! R&R!!! Oh, yeah, Yaoi skimmer-throughers, not Yaoi writers. JAA~!!!