*sniff* Last part, minna-san... Standard Warnings apply here: swearing, YAOI, YURI, Hetero, Non-consensual, and... *gulp* death!!! Heyyy, it's a humor fic too! =^_^= And now... "Scary, Scary!" PART 9 by Shinigami Baby Everyone's favorite innocent by-stander,Chang Wufei, was tired... no, EXHAUSTED. He not only had a rough day at school(he locked his keys in his car, along with his books and pocky), but he had also bore witness to countless displays of yaoi... some first hand(no pun intended), fell down a rather high set of stairs a few times, and to top it all off... fell into a pool. He headed sleepily toward his room and opened the door. 'Soon sleep will consume my tired, beaten body...' He thought, stripping down to his boxers. They were cute black boxers with little red and blue dragons on them... how Wufei! He shut off the lamp and shut his eyes. Not even two seconds passed before the door to his room was opened. "Look, this is MY room! Go have sex in your OWN room, you fiends!!!" Wufei grumbled under the blankets. Well, whoever went into Wufei's room wasn't about to comply. Instead, they got into bed with him. Wufei's eyes snapped open as his ass was grabbed. "AAAAAGH!" He shouted, reaching over to turn the light on. He looked over at his bedmate. "SALLY!?" Sally Po smiled a predatory smile. "Konbanwa, koibito..." She purred. Wufei's nose bled just a teeny bit. "I thought you were out of town with your parents..." He said nervously. "I was, we got home a little while ago..." Sally rubbed Wufei's bare chest. "Did you miss me?" Wufei gulped. 'She MUST be drunk... Sally is NEVER as forward as this...' He sniffed Sally curiously. 'Funny... I don't smell any alcohol.' "Wufeiiii! I asked you if you missed me!" Sally repeated herself, looking a little ticked off, but still very... frisky. "O...of course I missed you. Now let's go to sleep, I'm very tired." Wufei rolled onto his side, his back to Sally and shut the lamp off. Sally threw her arms around him and nipped his earlobe. "Playing hard to get, huh? You know I like that..." She reached over to Wufei's front and began stroking his... well... Justice Rod. (*Author sweatdrops* "Justice Rod?" Geez, just shoot me now!) "S-S-S-S-S-S-Sallyyyyy!" Wufei shouted, both alarmed and aroused. "W-what are you doing!?" He was now sitting up. Sally nuzzled behind his ear with her nose. "Wufei... I want..." Wufei shrieked. "T-tonight!? HERE!? I thought you wanted our first time together to be special." Sally smirked. "It's special enough! Now TAKE ME, you big, strong, justice-filled He-Man!!!" She laid down on her back quickly, clutching Wufei's head between her boobs. Wufei struggled, almost suffocating between Sally's breasts. He finally was able to come up for air. "Sally! You better sto-!" Sally covered Wufei's mouth with hers. All his resistance stopped right there... Outside in the bushes(absolutely NO pun intended)>.< "Woooooow, that was something else." Relena said, licking her lips. Hirde was still laying on the grass, staring at the sky. "Uh-huh...." She closed her eyes and sighed happily. "Well..." Noin started. "...I feel sooo much better now." She ruffled Relena's hair a bit and kissed Hirde. "I'm swearing off guys forever." "Me too." The other two girls agreed. "But..." Noin said. "But?" Both girls asked. "But I still want revenge." Noin said simply. The other two girls smiled almost as wickedly as Noin was smiling... Directly over their heads in the room... "Dorothyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" MIlliardo screamed. "PLEASE STOP IT!" Dorothy smiled her freaky smile as her eyebrows twitched. "NEVER!" She thrust her hips again. "I'm gonna get arrested if we get caught!" Millliardo protested. Dorothy licked the sweat that was trickling down his neck. "Aw, c'mon, koibito, no one's gonna find out." Milliardo whimpered. 'I want my mommy!' He thought as Dorothy continued to bounce on him... In a nearby room... Heero and Duo threw themselves onto the bed, tired and spent. Duo was laying on his back, one arm behind his head, the other, wrapped around Heero. Heero was on his side, his head resting on Duo's chest. Heero sighed contentedly. "Duo-chan?" "Hai, koi?" "Ai shiteru..." Duo smiled. "I love you, too. Now go to sleep." He kissed Heero's forehead and drifted off. Once he was sure that Duo was alseep, Heero crawled out of bed and tip-toed over to the desk in the room. Then he started his homework...(*Sweatdrop*) Duo rolled over and threw his other arm around a pillow. "Heero..." he mumbled in his sleep. Heero smiled and continued to do his homework. Duo sat up and looked around. "Oi, get in this bed right now! And stop doing your homework, damn it!" Duo scolded. Heero looked up from his laptop. "Aww, c'mon. Please let me do it now? I'll wake you up VERY nicely in the morning..." Heero winked. Duo frowned and crossed his arms. "No way. I ain't fallin' fer that, now get in this bed, Heero Yuy!" Heero sulked and shut his laptop, then got into bed with Duo. "Good night Heero." Duo said. " 'night." Heero replied. In the hallway... "Which one's Dorothy's room?" "I think it's this one." "..." "..." "..." "Well? Is someone gonna open this door or not!?" Hirde sighed and opened the bedroom door. Heero's eyes snapped open as the door was opened. He sat up and turned the lamp on. "Who's there?" Hirde gasped. "H-Heero!?" Heero covered his exposed parts *ahem* with the blanket. "Uh... hi Hirde... heh heh..." Relena poked her head in the doorway over Hirde's. "Heero? Where? WHERE!?" She suddenly gasped when she saw who Heero was in bed with. "DUUUUUUOOOOOOOO!?" Hirde's jaw dropped. "DUO!?" Noin popped her head in over Hirde's. "Duo?" Duo sat up and scartched the back of his head. "KUSO! LET ME SLEEP!" He threw a pillow in the three girls' direction. Relena caught it. "You two are a... a thing!?" She asked. Duo nodded, wrapping his arms around Heero protectively. "Yup." Heero said. Relena couldn't find the right words to express herself so she laughed instead. Not a happy laugh, mind you. Nooo, this was a very scary laugh. Heero and Duo looked at eachother, then at Noin and Hirde. Noin and Hirde shrugged at the two very naked boys. Relena turned her back to Heero and Duo and when she turned around again, she had a *gulp* KNIFE! *Cue Scooby-Doo chase music* "AAAAAAGH!" Both boys screamed, jumping up out of bed and running out of the room naked. Relena wasn't far behind. Noin and Hirde followed closely behind Relena. "Relena! You'll ruin your mom's carrrpeeet!" Hirde shouted. "I don't fucking care!" Relena shouted back, still running. "The LEAST those assholes could have done is told me they were lovers!" Duo ran into the closest room, Heero right behind him. Relena burst into the room after them. Then there were five simultaneous screams. Noin and Hirde ran into the room as well. Their respective jaws dropped to the floor. "Oh my GOD!" Noin screamed. Dorothy smirked. "Heh, that's what HE said." Milliardo was handcuffed to Dorothy's bed, very naked I might add. *takes a moment to think about that...ahhh...* He looked pleadingly up at his sister. "Relena! She raped me!" He said through teary eyes. "I was saving myself, too!" Dorothy's eyebrows twitched. "You enjoyed it, so shut up." "I did NOT!" Milliardo protested. "HEY! What about US?" Duo shouted. "We had a cool chase scene going!" "URUSAI, DUO!" Everyone said. Duo cringed. "Geez, sorry!" Everyone was quiet now. "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Damn it, someone talk already!" Hirde said. "Ooh! I have an idea!" Relena said. "How about TWO endings!?" Noin shrugged. "That's... different I guess." "Hell, why not?" Duo agreed. "Worse things have been done to us." Duo shuddered, remembering a paticularly scary Vidfic written by Shinigami Baby. Shinigami Baby popped in out of nowhere. "TWO endings, eh? I can swing that." She smiled. "Not a bad idea, Relena." Relena smiled. "Just don't do 'Relena In Wonderland' anymore! PLEASE!?" "I abandoned that fic a looong ass time ago anyway." Shinigami Baby said, handing Duo, Heero and Zechs their clothes. "Okay damn it, I'll do a very shitty ending first, then a really cool ending." =^_^= "I'm really afraid of the shitty ending." Duo said. "Ah, what I have planned for you in the shitty ending isn't too bad. Trowa and Quatre however..." Shinigami Baby said. "Oh no..." Heero said. "Oh YES." Shinigami Baby confirmed his fears. "A non-yaoi ending for those two." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Every reader screamed. "YESSSS!" Three readers said under their breath. Shinigami Baby glared at them. "Damn it, I hope you're happy!" She faced the people in the bedroom once again. "Okay, guys, go get ready..." "Hai." The seven of them said. *~The Shitty Ending~* Relena dropped her knife at the sight of Heero and Duo in bed together. Hirde ran into the room. Heero looked over at Relena. "Relena..." "Heero..." Relena said, jumping into the bed. Duo frowned. "HEY! What about me!?" He glanced over at Hirde and ran after her, out of the room. The went into Hirde's room and locked the door. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!? *ahem* Noin, meanwhile, had found Dororthy's room and freed Zechs. She smacked Dorothy across the face. Dorothy ran out of the room crying. She bumped into Quatre. The two of them fell to the floor and their eyes met. *cringing in pain as she types this* Quatre leaned in and kissed Dorothy. *shudders* Trowa walked in on Quatre and Dorothy making out on the floor and ran outside by the pool. He pushed Treize into the water and kissed Catherine. *shudders even more* *~END OF SHITTY ENDING~* That ending was for every non-yaoi fan, Quatre/Dorothy pairing fan *shudders*, and Trowa/Catherine pairing fan *pukes cuz they're brother and sister* And now... THE COOL ENDING!!! *~The Kawaii Kick-Ass Cool Ending~* "HEY! What about US!? We had a cool chase scene going!" Duo shouted. "Oh yeah..." Relena said. "Almost forgot about you..." She dove at Duo with her knife, but Duo moved out of the way, causing the knife to stab Dorothy instead. "Whoaaa..." Hirde said. "That was a mistake..." Relena said. She dropped her knife and knelt over Dorothy. "Are you dead, Dorothy?" Dorothy nodded. "Okay." Relena said. She stood up, wiping the blood on her shirt. "I killed Dorothy, guys." "Oh noooo!" They replied sarcastically. Relena snickered. "Yeah, she sucks, huh?" Zechs looked over at Noin. "Lucrezia... can you help me?" Noin reached over and began to unite Zechs, but then she had an idea. "No." "NANI!?" Zechs asked. "I said NO, Milliardo. I'm not going to untie you." Noin looked over at Relena and Hirde and mouthed the words "Gomen ne." The two girls nodded in approval. Noin smiled. "I need everyon out of the room, please." She eyed Zechs like candy. Everyone left the room. "Okay, that was weird." Duo said, grabbing onto Heero's arm. "C'mon koi, let's go back to bed." "Hai." Heero said. "Oi, Heero!" Relena said. "Nani?" Relena smiled. "You and Duo are very cute together." "So are you and Hirde." Duo said. Hirde blushed, squeezing Relena's hand. The two couples parted ways, heading to their respective bedrooms. Somewhere else... "SALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" "WUFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEI!" Another somewhere else... Quatre cringed at Wufei's screams of utter pleasure. "How long do you think they're gonna keep that up, koi?" Trowa shrugged. "I'm not sure, Little One. It IS getting rather annoying though, ne?" Quatre nodded. "...Oh, it sounds like they stopped." Trowa smiled wickedly. "I have an idea, just play along, okay?" Quatre nodded hesitantly. "Okay." Trowa cleared his throat. And began moving the bed back and forth. "Ohhhhhh yes... do it like THAT Quatre!" Quatre spitted his tea out, trying to keep from laughing. On the other side of the wall, Wufei's jaw was resting comfortably on his chest. Sally shut it for him. Quatre followed Trowa's lead and began to move the bed, making it bang harder against the wall. He let out a soft moan. Trowa smiled michievously. 'Take THAT Wufei...' Quatre had to move the bed with his foot for a minute so he could take another sip of tea. "Oh GOD Trowa, get ready, I'm gonna cum!" Then he screamed Trowa's name. Wufei was passed out by now. Sally shook her head and walked over to Trowa and Quatre's room door and knocked on it. Trowa walked away from shaking the bed to answer it. "Hi Sally." He smiled. Sally smirked. "That was just wrong, Trowa. You two and your little charade made my boyfriend pass out!" Quatre stopped moving the bed. "Yeah?" Sally nodded. Trowa smirked. "Well, we did what we set out to do then." Sally frowned. "You guys suck!" She laughed and went back into her room. Trowa shrugged and closed the door. He looked over at Quatre, who had a predatory look in his eyes. "Nani?" Trowa asked. Quatre grabbed Trowa and... well... you know *snicker* It seemed as if everyone was going to have something to talk about on Monday, especially the dorky Audio/Visual Club guys who had placed cameras in every bedroom... OWARI! Heehee, all over, no more "Scary, scary!". Aww don't cry, there'll be other fics. =^.^= As if you couldn't tell by my lovely sarcasm, the "Shitty Ending" had *gulp* incest in it. Yes, incest. *shudders* I'm never going to torture poor poor Trowa-kun like that ever again! *Chibi-Quatre pops out of nowhere* "You'd better not! And don't you EVER pair me with Dorothy ever again! I wanted to die!" Hey Quatre! I had to do SOMETHING for the "ShittyEnding"! Why do you think it was called a "Shitty Ending"?! *Chibi-Quatre scratches his head* "Hey, you have a point there." Yes I do. Now go play. "Okay! Ja ne!" ByeBye Quatre... *ahem* Okay, the next thing I'm thinking of doing is a surprise! Heehee! =^_^= Jaaa!