Disclaimer to save my ass: I do not own Gundam Wing or the song "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". Sunrise owns Gundam Wing, and Pat Benetar owns the song (at least I think she does). ALSO: This is for a laugh, if you can't take something light-heartedly then scram! Flames will be laughed at, then shown to friends and laughed at some more. Without further ado... "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Shinigami Baby Heero is walking down the street, minding his own business. Behind him, he's pulling a red wagon over flowing with explosives and firearms. Ahh ... impulse buying.=^_^= But ... lurking around the corner is his lovely stalker and her little fan club, spear-headed by Dorothy Catalonia. Relena smirks as she starts to sing... Relena: Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history Of breakin' little hearts like the one in me Heero stops suddenly. No. It can't be. He turns around and is face to face with... *gulp* Relena! YIKES! Relena: (backs Heero into a corner, gets up in his face) That's okay, let's see how you do it... Heero: (scowls) Omae o Korosu. Relena: (smirks) Put up your dukes, let's get down to it! Heero: (gulp) Relena: (opens her arms wide, intimidatingly) Hit me with your best shot! Heero: (eyes widen as he dives between Relena's legs and makes his narrow escape) Relena: (hot on his heels) Why don't you hit me with your best shot? Hit me with your best shot! Heero: (stops by the cross-walk, goes to push the walk button...) Relena: (standing right there, leaning against the pole and looking smug) Fire away! Heero: (dashes out into the street, jumping ontop of cars and weaving in and out of traffic until he meets his destination... the safe house) Duo: (bouncing down the stairs) You come on with a come on, you don't fight fair! Heero: (thinking "Duo sings really high-pitched for a guy...") Duo: (rubs Heero's chest with one hand) That's okay... see if I care! Heero: (thinking un-sexy thoughts) Duo: (pushes Heero into a chair) Knock me down, it's all in vain, I'll get right back up on my feet again! Relena: (busting the door down, Dorothy is behind her holding a battering ram *sweatdrop*) Hit me with your best shot! Duo: (mouth agape) Relena: Why dont you hit me with your best shot? Duo: (clearly pissed on this intrusion) Relena: (slaps Heeor's ass) Hit me with your best shot! Fire awaaaay! Duo growls a bit and runs forward, tackling Relena. The two kick, punch, pull hair, etc, each declaring their undying affection for "Hee-chan". Heero looks on, half amused, half scared. Neither notice as Heero goes to answer a knock at the door. They're too engrossed in their little cat fight. Heero opens the door to reveal... Sylvia Noventa. She smiles at Heero and drags him outside. Heero isn't putting up much of a fight. The blush across his cheeks is evidence of that. *wink* Relena and Duo stop their fight when they heard the door slam. They look at eachother, blink a few times, then run out the door....... Heero and Syliva are walking down the street, Sylvia has her arm in Heero's. They look... cozy. Relena and Duo's heads pop out from around a corner with death in their eyes and Heero on the brain. Syliva was a dead woman.... Relena: (eyes narrowing) You're a real tough cookie with a long history Of breakin' little hearts likethe one in me Duo: (grabbing Relena by the wrist and following Heero and Sylvia through the streets) Before I put another notch in my lipstick case, You better make sure you put me in my place. The whole song stops for a minute. Relena looks at Duo dumbfounded. Relena: You have a lipstick case? Duo: (shrugs) Well, where do you think I keep my travel-sized lube? Relena: (eyes widen in horror) I didn't need to hear that! Duo: (pats Relena on the back) You asked, toots. Relena: (scowls) Can we get back to this really stupid vidfic now? Duo: (nods) Yeah, Wufei's waiting for me. Relena: If you're with Wufei, then why-? Duo: For the 1x2/2x1 fans. (winks at the camera) Relena: (looks in the direction of the camera) Wow, that's been here the whole time? Duo: Yep. Now back to the fic. Relena: (shrugs) Okay. Song starts back up... Relena: (catching up with Heero, grabs him by the wrist and spins him around) Hit me with your best shot! Duo: (glares at Sylvia, cracking his knuckles) C'mon! Hit me with your best shot! Relena: (bumps Heero with her ass) Hit me with your best shot... Duo: (pushes Sylvia intimidatingly) Fire awaaaay... Heero and Sylvia look at eachother and nod... both pull out bazookas from Hammerspace (well, Spandexspace in Heero's case) and grin evilly at Duo and Relena. Relena gulps and Duo jumps into her arms. Relena takes off, leaving a smoke cloud that spells "ESCAPE!" in her wake. Heero and Sylvia discard their weapons and continue their little walk. END Ooooh what did you guys think? Hn? Hn? Duo: Just to clear things up, I really DO have a lipstick case... (pulls out a small pink l ipstick case) See?" Wufei: (grabs Duo by his braid) "Let's go use its contents, Du-koi..." Duo: (shit-eating grin) "Ja minna!" ~Shinigami Baby =^_^=