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| About me... |
| D3M0niQ |
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| Pick-Up Lines For Tacky Men I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. I know milk it does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking? If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold IT against me? If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together. Your body's name must be VISA, because it's everywhere I want to be. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long? |
| Late Nite Oneliners Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. -Billy Crystal I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?" -Larry Miller According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. -Jay Leno The post office says they're raising the price of stamps by one cent because they need to upgrade their equipment. Apparently, they're going from semi-automatics to uzis. -Conan O'Brien A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers! -Jay Leno Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. -Lewis Grizzard |
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