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| About me... |
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| Why It�s Great To Be A Guy Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. Old friends don't care whether you've lost or gained weight. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews. You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You can leave the hotel bed unmade. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. Chocolate is just another snack. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. You don't care if anyone notices your new haircut. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at me. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies. Princess Di's death was just another obituary. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" Why It's Great To Be A Gurl We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. |