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| Recorded Excuses These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston... My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please excuses John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. Chris will not be in school cuz he has an acre in his side. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out]. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. |
| Computer T-Shirt Slogans Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) Buy a PC with a Pentium inside so you can reboot faster. Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)? C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN <-------- The information went data way Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...Coincidence??? The name is Baud, James Baud. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory... Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah! Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?? C:\Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner! RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure. Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY? All computers wait at the same speed. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Press any key... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one! Press <CTRL-ALT-DEL> to continue ... |