But seriously, I love all of these people and many more because they give me easy, surefire things to make fun of. Defending Bush's grammar is like telling a four year old that if he writes a 200 page graphic novel, his parents will win a car: it doesn't work, but you know someone will try. Jerry "God just went click" Falwell is so literal that if you told him to "eat shit and die".....he would. Cheney is the evil corporate slimeball that sits in the board meeting, and calmly says, "I'm going to destroy you". Bill O'Reilly is like the angry neighbor who storms outside in his underwear and tells you to "get the hell off" his property, because its "a statement of my life." And as for Rush Limbaugh....well.....he's Rush Limbaugh.
My point of all this is that if I'm going to be a humor columnist, I need stuff to rip apart. It isn't a reflection of my character or intended as disrespectful to those who dont agree with me. It's fodder. So thanks, NASCAR, whoever invented rodeos, Bill Gates or whoever invented the internet, and anything else I've complained about. You give me purpose.
But no, I am not a positive person. Now, keep in mind that because I'm not a positive person does not make me a negative person. I'm not one of these sorry guys who sits around and gripes about how he hates the world and wants to blow up the school and all that crap. I just love making fun of stuff. But it isnt for everybody. I have a very special and personal relationship with God, sometimes referred to as George Carlin. I absolutely adore my many friends and have a great personal life. I have a good heart and consider myself to be a pretty major dude. I'm just skeptical about mostly all else.
