Experience NASCAR like never before through the magic of IMAX 3D technology. With NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience, you'll be transported into the driver's seat of North America's most popular and nonetheless least interesting spectator "sport".
NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience goes behind the scenes of the races to uncover the science, technology and teamwork that make up this preeminent "sport". Meet the nationally renowned pasty faced white guys from Alabama or any other southern state that fought in the Civil War who make a hundred times as much money as you by taking left turns all day as they compete for the coveted checkered flag. Meet the millions of passionate fans, who for some odd reason all seem to be white, who are devoted to this exciting "sport".
This little bit was derived from a press release I was supposed to type up today while I was doing my internship at the Flint Journal. I looked over it once or twice and I said to myself "this is too easy". Now, I know theres probably alot of NASCAR fans out there who are probably just thinking, "I bet he doesn't even know anynthing about NASCAR". Oh, buddy, I follow NASCAR closely. Almost meticulously. Because see, while NASCAR is an amazingly pointless activity, I'm proud that it's getting so big. I'm glad that conservatives are throwing their hard earned cash down for this stuff. Because thats less money that they have to send to the government. Which basically means thats less money the government can spend on the war. Fine by me. And let me tell you, going to a NASCAR race is not cheap. A cold, hard seat waaaaaaay up at the top, where yeti's live, goes for like $70. Thats a weeks worth of food for me, my friends, the mailman, the Amway lady, and Calista Flockhart. Oh yeah, she doesn't eat. OK fine, Lucy Liu.
Meanwhile, you can catch a major league baseball game, which is America's true pastime, for well under $20. The ballpark is a great place to spend an afternoon, just sitting there being a fan and relaxing. Meanwhile, a NASCAR race smells like a defunct mechanics shop, has 300 pound hyseterically drunk white guys with back hair who think their more handsome than Johnny Depp, and is noisier than Gilbert Gottfried's voice magnified three hundred fifty times. It's the best $70 I ever spent!
Opens March 12.
