--=========< BEAVIS/BUTTHEAD PATCH FOR WOLFENSTEIN 3D SHAREWARE V1.4 >=========--

         (ALSO KNOWN AS BARNEYSTEIN, BUT WITH 10 DIFFERENT "NEW" LEVELS)
   
   
   Yes! It's finally finished. But before you start renaming files, trying to
execute all the .EXE files included here and generally messing about, 

                            PLEASE READ THIS!

   There, now I got your attention, I'll get on with this file...

DISCLAIMER
----------

   Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh ... disclaimers suck ...
   Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh, nobody reads these things anyway.
   Butthead: But lawsuits _really_ suck!
   Beavis: Heh heh, yeah, lawyers don't know how to dress!
   Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh huh huh huh huh ... that was cool...  

   What Beavis and Butthead were trying to say was something like:

     - I, the author of this patch, take no responsibility for anything that 
       goes wrong with your life when you use it, and you will not be 
       compensated for damages if something unforseen happens.
     - The above includes, but is not restricted to:
        - bugs in the program that affect your game or your computer system.
          (there shouldn't be any though, cause we tested this thing before 
           releasing it)
        - viruses in the software. (PLEASE, NOTIFY ME IF YOU FIND A VIRUS! 
          The original patch that I am putting on FTP sites was virus free, 
          but some schmuck may upload a copy to other sites that I don't know
          about, and those other copies may not be clean.) ALWAYS scan stuff
          you get from FTP sites just to be safe.
        - failure of the patch to live up to the users expectations.
        - failure of the user to use the patch in the way it was meant to be
          used. 
        - failure of the users eyes after reading the enclosed text files.
          (Use the reader in the Setup program by the way...)
        - psychological damages done to younger children because the user let
          them watch Barney die in a bloody mess.
        - houses that are 'torched' because Beavis said 'Fire' in the patch.
     - So uhhhh... like use it at your own risk... huh huh.

   Beavis: Cool! He said this patch has fire! fire! ... heh heh ... fire!

WARRANTY
-------- 

   What?!?!? You want a warranty on a patch that is for a shareware game? 
A patch that you didn't even pay money for??? Get a grip!

   That reminds me ... FOR NO REASON is anyone to charge money for the patch!
(Yes, even if you're planning to give me some...) If you feel you have extra 
money and you are just dying to send it to me, DON'T! 
   Register Wolfenstein 3D, or register DOOM, or something. I repeat, send 
your money to Apogee and ID, not to me...

NOW I'VE GOT THE PATCH, WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?
---------------------------------------------

   Well, since you are reading this file, I would assume that you unzipped the
BARNEY14.ZIP file into your Wolfenstein 3D directory. If you haven't, then 
stop reading this and do it now... Don't worry about making backups of the 
original game (although it wouldn't hurt). The SETUP program will simply 
rename your old vswap.wl1 file, so no permanent damage will be done.

  FILE LIST:
  ---------
                                      
  ALFA.MOD     - end music
  ANALYSIS.TXT - an analysis of "Barney and Friends"
  DATA000.EXE  -\
  DATA001.EXE  - \
  DATA002.EXE  -  \
  DATA003.EXE  -   \
  DATA004.EXE  -    \
  DATA005.EXE  -     \ data files to make the intro/end stuff work
  DATA006.EXE  -     /
  DATA007.EXE  -    /
  DATA008.EXE  -   /
  DATA009.EXE  -  /
  DATA010.VOC  - /
  DATA011.VOC  -/
  END1.EXE     -\ makes the end stuff work
  END2.EXE     -/
  FILE_ID.DIZ  - the usual thing
  INTRO1.EXE   -\ makes the intro work
  INTRO2.EXE   -/
  README.COM   - Uhhhh.... huh huh huh... what are you looking at?
  README.TXT   - Uhh.... huh huh... guess...
  SETUP.EXE    - the setup file - RUN THIS BEFORE YOU PLAY THE FIRST TIME!
  STORY2.TXT   - a tie-in to "The Day of the Barney"
  STORY.TXT    - "The Day of the Barney" by Brian Bull
  VIEWER.CFG   - configuration file for the smooth viewer
  VIEWER.EXE   - Smooth File Viewer (c) 1993 by Todd S. Lehman
  VSWAP.NEW    - the new Barney/Beavis/Butthead graphics
  WIN.MOD      - intro music
  
  THESE FILES WILL BE CREATED THE FIRST TIME SETUP.EXE IS RUN:

  SETUP.CFG    - configuration file for the setup program
  WOLF.BAT     - the batch file you will use to play Wolfenstein 3D 
                 from now on... :)
                 
   O.K. Now you have the Barneystein files in your Wolf3D directory right?
Good. The next thing you need to do is run SETUP.EXE. (Just type 'setup' at 
the DOS prompt from within your wolf3d directory!)
   A menu kind of thingy will pop up, and you can change the default 
parameters. Here's a quick description of the setup menus:
   
   PATCH - Install patch   (You should choose this first!)
         - Uninstall patch                                  

   INFO  - Program info
         - Cheat keys      (lists some important cheat keys for debug mode)
         - Map Add-ons     (lists all the map add-ons for shareware 1.4 that 
                            I know of. If you know of more, drop me a line!)
         - Analysis of "Barney and Friends"  (something I picked up off 
                                              alt.barney.die.die.die)
         - "Day of the Barney"  (a great bit 'o fiction!)
         - Barneystein          (a tie-in to "Day of the Barney")

   GAME  - Toggle Cheat Setup      (decide if you want to activate debug mode)
         - Set Starting Floor      (decide what floor you want to start on)
         - Set Starting Difficulty (how hard you want the game to be)
         - Do NOT jump into game   (wanna play it like normal?)

   OTHER - Toggle Members List   (wanna see the end stuff? I think you do!)
         - Toggle Intro Screen   (wanna see the intro stuff? Why not...)
         - Sound Device          (so what'll it be? PC? Sound Blaster? none?)

   QUIT  - Uhhh...we're there dude!

   I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you press F1 to get help in the Setup program. 
There is some other stuff on the help screen that you should know about.

   Now you have the game set up, run WOLF.BAT and kick some purple butt!

TROUBLESHOOTING
---------------
         
   Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh... shooting is cool... huh huh huh huh...
   Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh, breakin' the law, breakin' the law...
   
   Beavis:
      &        DAH DAH DUNT DUNT DAH-DAH
   Butthead:   DANANANANAAH DUNT DUNT DAH-DAH.
   
   So you say there's a problem with the patch? Hmmmmm.... Let's see...

 Q - I unzipped the game into my wolf3d directory, and ran the game like 
     normal, but nothing new happened.
 A - try running the SETUP.EXE program, smeghead.

 Q - O.K. I ran the setup program, and everything went alright. When I ran the
     game, still nothing different happened.
 A - Did you pick INSTALL PATCH in the menu under patch?
     Did you run WOLF.BAT instead of WOLF3D.EXE? (just type 'wolf' instead of
     'wolf3d')
     Are you sure this isn't all just a bad dream?
 
 Q - I ran the program like you said, but the game locked up.     
      <or>
     I ran the program like you said, but got an error message at the DOS 
     prompt.
 A - What version of Wolfenstein 3D do you have in your wolf3d directory?
     The patch ONLY works with SHAREWARE version 1.4!
     If you don't have a copy of v1.4, and you don't know where to look for 
     one, mail me (Blackadder), cause I know a few FTP sites that still have 
     that old version of the game.
     So don't try to run this patch on Shareware v1.0, v1.2, or the Registered
     version.

 Q - O.K. Now the game works, but it won't let me use the debug (cheat) keys.
     I keep pressing TAB+G, but I'm still not a god yet...
 A - Alright, assuming you picked Toggle Cheat Setup 'ON', you still have to
     press LEFT SHIFT+ALT+BACKSPACE at the same time from within the game. 
     Then you should see a message like 'Debug Mode Activated.' Now, you can 
     press TAB+G all you like, and you will be turning God Mode on and off...
     WARNING!!!!! 
     Our friends at Apogee have disabled Debug mode in many of the Wolfenstein
     shareware 1.4 games! There are three ways to tell if debug mode will work
     with your game:
       1. Run my program (with cheat setup enabled)
       2. Use the command line option (if you are a vetran Wolf person)
       3. Check the filestamp on your game files. According to my sources, if
          the timestamp is 12/92, you should be O.K., but if it is dated 1993,
          go find another copy of the game. (When last I heard, FTP.UWP.EDU had
          a copy that allowed Debug mode....)

 Q - I wanted to see your cool intro and exit screens, but the sound didn't
     work right. I didn't hear any music.
 A - What kind of sound card do you have? Go into the menu choice Sound Device
     under Other. If you don't have a sound card, but still want to hear the
     music, pick PC Speaker. The music will sound like crap, but everything
     played through the PC Speaker sounds like crap. (Unless you are playing
     .WAVs in windows or something...) Only use PC Speaker option as a last 
     resort. The Sound Blaster option assumes you have the default settings 
     on your card (ie. you haven't been messing with your ports, and other 
     junk). If it doesn't work with your Sound Blaster, mail me, I'll see
     what I can do. (Incidentally, I've seen it work on Sound Blaster and
     Sound Blaster Pro. I'm assuming other cards that are compatable with the
     Sound Blaster would work too.) If you can't get the other options to 
     work for you, or you don't want to hear any sound, just choose None in
     the menu. If you have a D/A Converter on LPT1, or a Disney Sound Source
     on LPT1, I can whip up a replacement file for you so that you can hear
     the music through the Sound Blaster option. Just email me and I'll
     encode and mail the file to you.

 Q - After I lose all my lives in one game, the game kicks me out and I'm
     back in DOS.
 A - Ahhh... the price you must pay for the luxury of being able to jump into
     the game on any level. I suggest you play the game straight through from
     level 1. In that case just pick 'Do NOT jump into game' from the Game 
     menu in the setup (the lines of info on the jump to level and difficulty
     should go dark; if you change your mind and decide you want to jump into
     the game after all, pick the level you want to go to, and the lines will
     light up again). If you want to be an assmunch, and jump to any level,
     without putting up a fair fight, then I strongly suggest you play in God
     mode. That way no one will kill you and you won't have to worry about
     being dropped back to DOS.

 Q - When I tried to play the game and patch in Windows, strange things
     happened.
 A - You aren't supposed to play the game in Windows, let alone the patch.
     Wise up!.

 Q - I have a question that is not in this wonderful document of yours.
     What do I do?
 A - My first inclination would be to tell you to smeg off. But, after
     thinking it over, I decided to give you a reasonable answer.
     Check out Mr. Stasiak's Wolf3D FAQ on FTP.UWP.EDU under /pub/msdos/games
     /id/home-brew/ w3d-311.faq    (Or, if you find a higher number, get it!)
     If that doesn't help, then email me, and I'll do what I can.
     UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CONTACT APOGEE OR ID!!!!
     Not about the patch anyway. If you have a legitimate question about
     hardware conflicts with the ORIGINAL game itself, then go ahead and call
     'em. Better yet, while you are on the phone with them, order the
     Registered version of the game. (If you need info on ID or APOGEE, read
     the 'Read This' bit in the game main menu, or turn the exit stuff from
     the patch off, and read their little info screen.

   There, I think that about wraps up troubleshooting.

I URGENTLY NEED TO CONTACT BLACKADDER OR THOSE OTHER GUYS!
----------------------------------------------------------

  Well, I must say, I'm touched. Here's where you can find me and the others:

  PC-CRAP IS:
  ~~~~~~~~~~

  BLACKADDER
  ----------             
  Michael Adcock               Better yet, email me at:  
  15026 Chipman Ln.              
  Houston, Tx.                 ST29O@Jetson.uh.edu    (That's a letter 'O'!)
  77060                            

  HOMEBOY FROM THE FUTURE
  -----------------------
  ST29H@Jetson.uh.edu

  CRUSADER, THE SPACE PUPPY OF LOVE
  ---------------------------------  
  ST1WS@Jetson.uh.edu

  SATAN
  -----
  no email address

   As most of you out there must have realized after looking at the credits
for this patch, I did all the work ... of course I had a lot of fun doing it.
So, if the other guys don't put forth a little effort on our next project,
I might be a lone programmer in the future...
   So, if any of you want to send non-constructive flames to Homeboy or
Crusader, be my guest. I'll handle any problems that you would like solved
if I can...  ;)

YOU SAID 'NEXT PROJECT'! WHAT IS IT?? TELL ME PLEASE!!!
-------------------------------------------------------

   Ohh... alright, if I must. Our next project is a patch for the REGISTERED
version of Wolfenstein 3D. That should keep the folks at APOGEE and ID happy.
At any rate, I'll import all the graphics from this patch into the new one.
But, as most of you know, the Registered Version contains SIX end of level
guys!! I've got some working ideas on what they might turn out to be:
  - Barney (of course!)
  - Beavis (the original - not a clone!)
  - Butthead (the original - not a clone!)
  - Ren
  - Stimpy
  - Blarney (I saw him on 'Talk Soup' one time... Barney's gangster brother)
  - Mr. Horse (from Ren & Stimpy)
  - Rush Limbaugh
If you have any suggestions, send 'em email or snail mail...
NOTE: This Shareware patch was written by yours truly during Christmas Break 
      from University of Houston. I don't know what my course load is going
      to be like this semester. I also don't know if I'll have help on the
      Registered version patch or not. So, I might not get much done on it
      until summer '94. I'll keep in touch through email if you are 
      interested. Maybe it'll be done by summer. Maybe by the end of summer.
      Maybe not until after next fall. It's to early to tell.

I STILL FEEL LIKE I OWE BLACKADDER SOMETHING FOR THIS PATCH
-----------------------------------------------------------

   Really? Well, send me a postcard or something. Or email me and tell me
how great (or bad) the patch is. Or (yes folks, he's going to say it again!)
register your copy of the game with APOGEE.
   I like to FTP hop, so if you know of cool sites with .WAVs, .AUs, .VOCs,
.GIFs, .JPGS, .MIDs, .MODs, .GLs, .DLs, .MPGs, .FLIs, utilities for any of 
the above, games, or other stuff, mail me. Or, if you are looking for a
certain program, chances are I have it or know where to find it -- ask me.
   Or, if you are a member of a group that makes demos (like those found in
ftp.uwp.edu in /pub/msdos/demos) mail me. I'd like to join a group if you
want me. (Not a bunch of LAMERS like the guys in PC-CRAP, but a cool group.)
:)

------

Well, I think this file is long enough.

   Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh... he said LONG ... huh huh huh huh...
   Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh...

Have fun with the game!

Bœ’€K’ëëîR  
