| The free paper conspiracy |
Only three things in life are garunteed... death, taxes and free papers Some of you may not have noticed this but no matter where you go each town has its own paper. One has relevent news in this paper you must pay for... The other is free and is used to control your mind. A short while ago i was on holiday and upon opening the door to the house i was required to force it open because of all the free papers. Now many people wonder why we are delivered free papers there has to be at least a decent reason why someone is paying for a paper to be printed and delivered and i have uncovered the reason. News papers have adverts in, free papers have LOTS of adverts in and the news print always sticks to your fingers. It seeps in slowly causing your brain to send out random electric signals urging you to buy and electric blanket and die your hair blue... yes the free papers are trying to cause you to age. You see think about it... who has nothing better to do than complain about a late delivery... if you are caught not delivering your papers then 'the elite few' a team of highly trained paper boys will hunt you down and pull you to before the greatest paper boy of all, ''no wait what are you doing here? what do you mean? noooooo!!!'' |