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1)Learn to lick your own stalker *ss. This way you can get a reward for pulling your head out every once in awhile. The dirty old darkness from up there where you look for the truth is also bad for your stalking complexion.
2)Kiss your own stalking behind because no one else will.
3)Whenever you get lonely for your victim just wind a brand new fat rubber band around your pecker and leave it there for 48 hours.
4)Always shower with those panties you stole from your victim pulled tight up over your face. Take lots of pics and mail them to the victim!
5) Lay out naked on a fire ant hill all summer to learn about pain and empathy.
6)Stop molesting the victim's pets. Call 1-800-ladyfingers when you need someone.
7)Improve your gonad size and function by signing everything you send to the victim and victim's friends!
8)Stalker gonads are kinda like Pinocchio's nose but the opposite, the more you act like a stalking wimp the smaller your gonads get. Soon enough your stalking gonads will shrivel on up and fall off 'cause you're being a stalker pussy by playing sorry *ss hide and seek games on your victim. A primo example can be seen in my guestbooks with all them alleged perpweed notes.
9)Go ahead and eat the raisins in your cereal. They look just like your gonads but I assure you they weren't chopped off another stalker perpweed! Raisins start out as grapes on vines and are sun dried into raisins. Kind of like what you all stalkers had before you started stalking!
10)When the police come on over to question you or search your place for evidence of your stealing from the victim, eat the goods and learn to love the taste of the victim's trash.
11)Whimper about fantasy death threat artists with special powers like the alleged perp does. It'll make ya look real smart and brave.
12)Floss your stalker teeth with tin foil. It helps you pick up secret messages about the victim.
13)Burn all your pubic hair off. The pain makes you tough and manly and it gets you ready to stalk.
14)Shave your face, legs and armpits, wear dresses, heels, panty hose and tampons. You'll really connect up with the victim this way! The victim's used woman things work best and all you stalkers know your can pick these outta the victim's trashcan!
15)Swallow a live rat whole without chewing. I dare you. Send lots of pics of the whole deal to the victim that way she'll know you're a man.
16)Lock yourself in a small dark closet and listen to Lady Lost's favorite song for 72 hours straight. Abstain from food and fluids. It excites stalkers and get you hooked in to the stalker boogie.
17)Build a great big fat file about your victim and send it to her! Remember to sign it so she knows you're real serious about stalking her. Leave nothing out or you'll keep seeing your gonads in that raisin bran cereal bowl.
18)Get your stalker pecker pierced and use the ring to yank at when you're trying to stay awake doing surveillance on the victim's place at night.
19)Develop some talent. You could be the next object in some famous freak show!
20)Repeat yourself 'cause you got nothing to say and it sounds good in your wacked out mind.
21)Embrace your stalker delusions. Someone has to be the pathetic pile of sh*t everyone hates!
22)Bananas are for eating not what you've been using them for when you're all alone and lonesome.
23)When cyber stalking type with your pecker. It's more like what you're doing anyway and it feels good to stalkers this way.
24)Stop hiding from your victim. If you've been at it for a while she already knows and the gigs up. Just admit it, stand up and be noticed and save your gonads!
25)By all means, pick a writer to stalk. This way you can upset yourself, blame her for your problems and threaten to sue her when she writes about being stalked!
26)When stalking a writer don't think the writing might stop if you stop. Damn no that'd be too f*cking logical!
27)Learn to stand on your head in a lit up barbeque pit while doing the stalker victory chant. Be strong and don't use any aids or props to say on up there now. The chant deal should last for an hour or better. The singe wakes up your senses and clears up all those mysteries about your victim!
28)Learn to play with wild skunks. What those little bugger shoot out fits your stalker personality.
29)Show the world what a great guy you are. Commit suicide. Remember to write some humdinger of a note and do it all alone and by yourself so you can look all brave for a change. The victim will remember you then and in a way you'll be in her life forever! Yep, just think how your stalker memory will live forever.
30)Eats lots of salt. Maybe a pound or two a day. It'll cleanse what ails you!
31)Bring your big fat case file on the victim to a psychiatrist! Don't pull anything outta there. That way you'll get the respect you deserve!
32)Just keep telling the cops you're not a stalker. They'll believe you 'cause they're ignorant, underpaid and they don't give a damn!
33)Deny deny deny and watch those gonads shrink before your very eyes!
34)Grow some sophistication. Start eating raw garden snails and video tape it to send to the victim. The victim might see you in a whole new light.
35)Hold onto your stalker obsession on that victim. Hell's bells, it's a fantastic idea to spend your whole life stalking. Why'd you wanna do anything else like have a real relationship, good job or education or whatever ya know. Nope, you're a piece of sh*t and you're life isn't worth a hill of old moldy beans so you might as well throw it away by stalking that victim!
36)Give your victim file to a shrink but don't confide in him ya know. After all only a stalker is qualified to understand his own self and how healthy that stalking his life to sh*t is for himself and the victim!
37)Sure it's perfectly natural to stalk a woman after she dumps you! That's why all that stalking causes such a sh*t storm! It's really the victim who is unnatural 'cause she doesn't know stalking for years, decades or a lifetime is just what happens after a relationship ends!
38)Stalkers can't have a real relationship but that's all ok 'cause they get a lifetime of dysfunctional relationship out of their victims. It's all good, right?
39)Use the victim's kids as a battering ram in your stalker games, like the alleged perp does! It makes you look strong, smart, and emotionally with it! Yessiree, using the victim's kids to f*ck with the victim makes any stalker look like a real good guy.
40)Using the victim's kids to f*ck with the victim shows your stalker love for those children and their welfare and all that. Yep, it surely does! This is double true when ya do it in public forums for all to see. Like the alleged perpweed, ya know. He wants every creep show in the world to know just where, what names and address, and at what house to find LL and her son 'cause he wants to make sure LL's son is safe ya all! That alleged perpwad wants it to be easy too, like as no one has to do any of their own research. It's them good stalker intentions shining through.
41)By all means, expect your victim to keep her mouth shut while you're stalking her. Sure now that's reasonable!
42)Pull those useless gonads off and mail them to the victim special delivery. It's guaranteed to freak her out and it'll sure show her your commitment!
43)Use Lady Lost's Singles Ad poem the next time you wanna look for a date. Honesty is the best policy. Get LL's permission first.
44) Save yourself and your victim. Super glue your face to the wall every time you get an urge! Use lots of super glue and hold real still while it dries.
45) Super glue your stalker hands to your pecker every time you get all lonely or feel like you gotta write your victim and scare her somemore. This sure does serve a bunch of purposes. It helps ya abstain and it helps ya, well ya know!
46) Have mercy on the world. Don't have any litters of baby stalkers ya all!
47) To abuse your own stalker self just read all them nice letters and all you've sent to the victims! Read em over and over and don't stop till ya see the light.
By Cyris
With some help from my friends.
Copyright (c) 2003
All rights reserved.
No rights to copy, print, download and all.
This stuff is all in my own opine.
