I would sleep over at friends' houses on the weekends. We played army with G.I. Joe figures and I set up galactic wars between Autobots and Decepticons. We stayed up half the night throwing marshmallows and Velveeta at one another. We never beat the Rubik's Cube.
I got up on Saturday mornings at 6 a.m. to watch bad Hanna-Barbara cartoons like "The Snorks", "Jabberjaw", "Captain Caveman", and "Space Ghost." At the movies, the Nerds got Revenge on nthe Alpha Betas by teaming up with Omega Mus. I watched Indiana Jones save the Ark of the Covenant, and wondered what Yoda meant when he said, "No, there is another."
Ronald Reagan was cool. Gobachev was the guy who build a McDonalds in Moscow. My family took summer vacations to the Gulf of Mexico and collected "Muppet" movie glasses along the way. (We had the whole set) My brother and I fought in the back seat. At the hotel we found creative uses for Connect Four pieces like throwing them in that big air conditioning unit.
I listened to John Cougar Mellencamp sing about Little Pink Houses for Jack and Diane. I was bewildered by Boy George and the colors of his dreams...red, gold and green. MTV played videos. Nickelodeon played "You Can't Do That on Television" and "Dangermouse." Cor! HBO showed Mike Tyson pummel everybody except Robin Givens, the bad actress from "Head of the Class" who took all Mike's cashflow.
I drank Dr. Pepper. "I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?" Shasta was for losers. TAB was a laboratory accident. Capri Sun was a social statement. Orange juice wasn't just for breakfast anymore, and bacon had to move over for something meatier.
My mom put a thousand Little Debbie Snack Cakes in my Charlie Brown lunch box and filled my Snoopy Thermos with grape Kool-aid. I owuld never eat the snack cakes though. Did anyone? I got two thousand cheese and cracker snack packs and I ate those.
I went to school and had recess. I went to the same classes everyday. Some weird guy from the eighth grade always won the science fair with the working hydro-electric plant that leaked on my project about music and plants. They just loved Beethoven.
Field day was bigger than Christmas, but it always managed to rain just enough to make everyone miserable before they fell over in the three legged race. Where did all those panty hose come from? "Deck the Halls with Gasoline, fa la la la la la la la la", was just a song. Burping was cool. Rubber band fights were cooler. A substitute teacher was a baby sitter / marked woman. Nobody deserved that.
I went to Cub Scouts. I got my arrow-of-light but never managed to win the Pinewood Derby. I got almost every skill award but don't remember every doing anything.
The world stopped when the Challenger exploded. Did a teacher come and tell your class?
Half your friends' parents got divorced.
People did not just say no to drugs.
AIDS started, but you knew more people who had a grandparent die from cancer.
Somebody in your school died before they graduated.
When you put all this stuff together, you have my childhood. If this stuff sounds familiar, then I bet you are one, too.
We are children of the eighties. That is what I prefere "they" call it.