�Sure I was concerned about my friend Jim,� said Clyde. �He�s you know�.my friend and all.� But Clyde�s worries of Jim�s safety were the least of his concerns. Assuming that Jim had perished in the toppling debris of the Twin Towers, Clyde actually had planned out a tribute to Jim Kelly festival that he later dubbed as �The Tribute to Jim Kelly Festival.�
In this particular festival, the family and friends of Jim Kelly would celebrate his life rather than dwell on his death. �I actually got the idea from an old Star Trek the Next Generation episode,� said Clyde. �You see Tasha Yars dies in this episode called Skin of Evil. And when the rest of the crew reads her holo-will, she says that they should remember the good times in her life�.which lasted almost nine episodes. In any case I thought it was appropriate for the occasion.�
�Some people said I should have done the touching funeral speech Kirk did in Wrath of Khan. But Jim and I weren�t that good of friends. Sure we could say that his death brings new life, or of all the souls I have met in my travels his was the most human, but I�m saving that when one of my better friends die. Like Tim, or Bryan, or Paul�or my dog Monique, Christine, or that girl with the huge breasts I sat behind in my journalism class.�
But news of Jim�s �survival� reached Clyde before he could go on with his ceremony. All of his careful planning soon collapsed when the rumors of Jim�s death were greatly exaggerated.
�I was crushed when I heard Jim was still alive,� friend and lead singer of the Vetivers Paul Solecki comments. �Clyde had the Vetivers set up for a really great concert. We had multi-media presentations, posters, scrap books, even songs inspired by good ol� Jim. The television crew was gathered around Clyde�s backyard, and people we didn�t even know came to the festival. Then all of the sudden Jim�s mom comes yelling �HE�S ALIVE�HE�S ALIVE!� Sure we were happy and all, but Clyde really worked hard on this thing.�
Once the news crew was gone, and the guest had all left, Clyde was seen yelling angrily at a 11 ft tall painting of Jim they had made in his honor. �JIM YOU BLOOD SUCKER! I HAD THIS ALL PLANNED OUT DAMN IT! JIMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!�
We caught up with Clyde a couple of months later and asked how he was doing after this entire fiasco. �I guess Jim being alive is mostly a good thing�.mostly. I will tell you this, he�s no longer a Tasha Yar in my book.�
