Title: Memories of Death

Author: Cynthia Beckner (Shadelock)

Archive: http://www.geocities.com/cynthia2pooh/

Disclaimer: I don’t own them.

Series/Sequel: This is the sequel to Shattered Realities. If you want to read that, its on my website.

Notes/Warning: This is not beta read. It is my next dues. This does talk about the death of three main characters, but they are alive. If you don’t like death stories this isn’t really one of them.

Date: December 27, 2002

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Blair stood at the railing of the balcony to loft, watching the people below as they went past. He had been home from the hospital for over week now, but still hadn't been able to get himself to leave the safety of the loft. It didn't help that every time he closed his eyes he saw the body of his best friend, lying on the floor, dead. That had been a different reality though. He was still having troubles coming to terms with all that had happened, even in that of the reality. Somewhere inside me he was capable of killing one most important people in his life. Each day Jim asked for him to explain what was bothering him in hopes of helping them deal with it. How is he supposed to explain that he had killed Jim in another reality? He was going to have to come to terms with the actuality that he had killed Jim. He had realized as some point that both reality is had been true for him and somehow he just ended up staying in the one. Someone somewhere was watching out for him it would seem.

So he was in the reality where Jim hadn't come home early, before the drugs have taken effect, and so he was still alive. Instead had experience the effects by himself without anyone in harm's way. Blair didn't remember the experience but it was quite possible that he had been hallucinating about fire people again. In the other reality, those hallucinations had made him believe that Jim was his enemy. So doing, as he had in the police station garage, here tried to eliminate the fire people and Jim just happen to be one of them. That was in his reality though, he kept reminding himself. In his reality, he had been harmed Jim, Detective Camble was in jail, not still roaming the streets after killing Captain Banks and Blair.

“Chief,” came up all from the balcony doors. Turning around Blair found himself looking at his best friends who currently wore a look of concern on his face. It again what did he expects, Blair hadn't exactly been himself recently. “Dinners finished.”

“Thanks Jim I will be in, in a minute,” Blair answered back. Turning around once more he took one last look at the city and closed his eyes. That image was still there but for some reason it didn't have the same strength behind it. With a small smile, Blair turned around and headed back into the loft. It was time for him to tell Jim what he experienced.

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Blair sat on the couch meditating as Jim cleaned up the dishes from dinner. He wanted to find a center before this conversation started. Now that he was about to tell Jim what happens he found himself not as assure of himself as he had been on the balcony earlier. However, he had promised himself that he would do this and he wasn't about to turn around and walk away. Maybe getting it out in the open would help heal the last of the wound created by the experience.

“Blair,” a tentative voice said behind him.

“It's time we talk.” Blair didn't even look at Jim as he spoke. Instead, he opted to keep his eyes closed but that had been a mistake. Before he can stop it, he flashbacked to that bloody seen again. He also couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath that accompanied the flashback and opened his eyes, he found Jim kneeling in front of him. “I wish that I can forget and this conversation would never have to happen, but I can't.”

“There is something that you’ve been hiding from me since the beginning. I’ve seen it in your eyes every time you look at me. I saw it will you were in the hospital.” Jim stated as a continued to kneel in front of Blair. “I know that you were seeing and…” Jim trailed off as he wondered if he should even bring up the fact that some of Blair’s limbs wouldn’t move and others seem to move without any effort on his part.

Blair saw the hesitation and figured what had caused that. Simon had brought it up one time when Jim hadn’t been in the room. Blair hadn’t answered his questions about what was happening and he figured that Jim would understand once he explained everything.

“You're right, I was seeing something else to. Somehow, don't know if it was the drugs, the head injury, me been a shaman, or a combination of the three, but I was seeing to world so once. Wait, world isn't correct word, I was seeing to realities.”

“Explain,” Jim said.

“I was seeing you, but at the same time, I was seeing another possibility. I was seeing what might have been.” Blair looked away from Jim at that moment unable to finished train of thought. He once again found himself looking at the city outside the balcony doors.

“What might have been, Blair?” Jim asked, understanding that he was about to learn what had been haunting his Guide for almost two weeks now.

“What might have been?” Blair repeated quietly as he continued to stare as the city. “What the world, my life, would have been like it that night had happened differently. In the other reality you died by my hands.”

Silence. All Jim could do was look at his Guide and try to comprehend what he just said. He knew that the matter what happens in the other reality it hadn't been Blair's faults. The drugs given to them by Camble would have been responsible.

“Simon was almost always there. I think deep down the Captain knew that I couldn’t kill you in cold blood, no matter how things looked. So he stuck by me, and at times you in him stood in the exact same place. For a while I was afraid that vision of you was nothing more than myself denying what happened.” Blair fell silent; he took a deep breath and released it before continuing. “Towards the end he disappeared and the reality with Simon, the reality where you were dead, was where I was at. At the end, Camble killed both Simon and myself to keep his secret. In that reality, he is still loose to kill more children, but everyone knows that I didn’t kill you in cold blood. It's not much of a comfort. However, I woke up to you of my side but I can't close my eyes without seeing…” Blair’s voice cracked and he let out a sob as he leaned forward and was engulfed in Jim’s arms.

“Your home now and that is all that matters,” Jim commented. “It didn't happen that way, at least not here. I'm still alive and so you.” Jim continued to hold Blair as he cried out his frustrations, his fear, and his pain over what is happened. Even as he did this, he knew that it would be sometime before Blair got over its completely. It would be something that's would stay with him for the rest of his life.

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The Other Reality

Even as Jim and Blair dealt with all that happened, the other reality was morning the loss of three people. Jim, Blair, and Simon were being laid to rest on a rainy day, surrounded by family and friends. Camble stood there too. As the service went on his thoughts went to the next child that he would kill. He thought that maybe he should go for on that was older this time, after all wouldn’t it be fun to go after Simon’s son. Luckily, what he didn’t know was that Blair had left behind what he had known and even now Camble’s fate was sealed. By the next morning he would be dead too.

The end