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MEET OUR NEWEST STAR COLUMNIST |
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UNCENSORED - UNEDITED - UNEDUCATED |
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A MESSAGE TO THE GUYS AND GALS OF THE RAG |
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DICK HEAD
The Voice of the Valleys |
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WAY ON DOWN |
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It seems that it's 30 years since somebody called Elvis Presley died. (I've never heard of him.) He sang something called "rock and roll", apparently. Some young people think that he was better than the great Caruso. Well, Sonny Jim, if you want to argue the toss with me in the Tretwat Workingmen's Club next Saturday, with your Brylcreem and your leathers, I'll give you a clip around the ear. |
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We LOVE what you're doing! Some people have suggested that we should try and work together. Others have said we should maintain our independence.
Can people from Aberdare work with people from Merthyr? Snakes and Rags...? Sounds like a weird recipe from Indian Cookery Made Easy. If you fancy a collaboration, get in touch...
Steve & Vix |
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Am I getting old or what?
Every day one of my grandkids brings me a copy of the paper with the news that somebody's dead.
I always said as long as my name isn't in the obituary column then I'd be alright.
When I worked underground at the age of ten, the old blokes used to tell me that people died every so often.
I didn't believe them, of course. I couldn't take them seriously. They used to send me off to the stores for a "long weight" or a "glass hammer"., and I'd trot off obediently on a fool's errand. I was only the apprentice, after all. I was young and I knew nothing of the world.
Now, I'm wise enough to remember everything. I know better than to listen to the idiots in authority. It's my duty to pass my vast experience on to my readers.
This is the first of my regular columns. It's part reminiscence, part pontification, part senile rambling. I'm old enough to be your granddad, so don't question it or you'll get a clip round the ear, Sonny Jim.
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THE PEOPLE'S PRINCESS |
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It's hard to believe a whole decade has passed since the nation poured out its collective grief over the death of a woman in a car. On the same day, Mother Teresa of Calcutta died. It seems that they both cared for the poor and unfortunate. I never saw either of them in Tretwat Workingmen's Club helping with the soup kitchen during the miners' strike. Some caring, that was! |
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PISSED OLD HACK |
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It's hard to believe that a whole decade has passed since the death of Jeffrey Bernard. This pathetic, self-pitying old hack became a national institution by churning out half-remembered reminiscences of the "good old days" of journalism, his dead-end jobs, failed relationships, tired old jokes, and general misanthropic bullshit. He spent every day on the piss, slating everyone he ever worked with and trying to pass it off as an amusing newspaper column. Luckily those days are long gone, and anyone who says otherwise will get a clip around the ear |
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