Scare Mom and Dad

A true story

In 1970, when I was in the twelfth grade I decided to scare mom and dad. I thought it would be really cute to hide under their bed and pop out them when they came to bed. They would see the humor and think it was funny. This is what I told myself. Kids everywhere...never a moments peace. That's what mom and dad were used to having had six children--so I went into their bedroom and crawled under their bed and waited there like a spider. I lay under their bed for 30 minutes waiting for them to come to bed. I guess I became bored and fell asleep. When I awoke it was to the sound of moans and groans. Oh, my God! Mom and dad were making love! And I was under there bed! There was no humor in this, this was a death sentence. If they knew I would suffer unspeakable horrors. What was I thinking? How could I have done such a stupid thing? If I lived through this I would forever be labeled a pervert. So, I decided to stay put until they went to sleep then crawl out of their room. The noise of the lovemaking was a constant reminder of my limited decision-making skills at the age of seventeen! And to make matters worse…the bed springs flexed up and down like a trampoline coming within inches of hitting me in the head! I closed my eyes and covered my ears and prayed not to be detected.

Finally they settled down to go to sleep. It looked like I was going to pull this thing off when Charlie, our house cat, found me! Meow! Meow! Meow! It was as if he was saying, hey you two look under here! Look what I found!

Charlie, hear kitty-kitty.” My mother called out.

Charlie was licking my face then he ran away from me. Meow! Meow! Meow! I heard my mother sit up.

“Quite that cat, I’m trying to sleep.” My dad ordered.

“Here kitty-kitty!” My mother called out softly. But Charlie would not come to her; instead he came back under the bed and started meowing at me. This time I was able to grab him then my mother planted her feet on the floor and her knees started to creak as she began to bend down. At that moment I pushed Charlie out to her.

“Gotcha! Mommy’s little precious.” Mom said. She stood up and got back into bed with the cat.

“Lay still damn-you.” She ordered Charlie.
“Good night Jim.”

“Good night peanut.”

Shortly thereafter my folks fell asleep, including that furry Benedict Arnold. I was safe for the time being. Yet I knew that the cat could wakeup my mother and give me away. I had to inch along under the bed on my back until my head was turned around and pointing to the foot of the bed. Then I could use the box springs to pull myself free from a joke gone bad. Because the wooden floor creaked at every movement it made me lived in constant fear of being discovered. I moved, stopped, waited, listen, then moved again. The minutes between listening seemed like hours to me. Finally I was out, I rolled onto my stomach and pulled myself forward like an inch worm. I was at the door now, I reached up and turned the knob, it creaked open. I laid flat hoping not to be discovered. I waited, and listen, the snoring continued. I stood up once I was in the hallway and walked to my room. Then and only then did I start breathing again. I crawled into bed rolled onto my back then suddenly my sister fell out of bed onto the floor. It scared the be-Jesus out of me. She had the upper bunk, it was a five foot drop! I sat up and looked to see if she was alright...she was, she was still sleeping. I laughed, got out of bed.

"Wendy, Wendy! You fell out of bed."

She didn't answer she just kept on sleeping. She wouldn’t wakeup, so I got her pillow and quilt and covered her up. She sure sleeps hard. I laughed to myself, wish mom, dad, and Charlie did.

“Wendy, we are going to have a good laugh about this in the morning.” And we did. I never told anyone about being under my folks bed until I was in my thirty's.

In closing I would like to say what I did was really, really, really stupid. But that's nothing wait until I tell you about the time I tried to put oil in my Volkswagen. Now that was really stupid, but, that’s another story. That story is titled My First Car.

The End

Written By: Cynthia E. Martin 7/28/1997

Last Updated: 02/15/00

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws