Bartlett Lake

     I looked up to the second floor apartment where Adriana Robinson lived and shouted: 

"H-e-l-l-o! Anybody home Adriana! Where the hell are you? Aren't you ready yet?" For crying out loud--it never fails...I mumbled to myself as I started climbing the stairs: So, you are going to make me walk up all of these stairs. I hate stairs, I hate the heat, I hate the desert, and I hate Phoenix Arizona! Is it too much to ask for a person to be is ready when their friend comes to pick them up? I said as I grumbled my way up the stairs. 

When I reached the sliding glass door Adriana was there to greet me. She grabbed me and pulled me inside while she fought to keep her German Shepard from getting out of the apartment. Quick, come in do not let Blue out! She’s in heat.” I hurried into the apartment and immediately Blue jumped up on me. 

"Down Blue, down, bad dog, bad dog." Adriana scolded. 

"So that’s a doggie diaper. Pink, that is cute. How long does it last?" 

"About ten minutes what a waste of money." 

I watched Blue grab the diaper and pull it off. Then she clinched it between her teeth and shook her head violently from side to side. 

"Look Blue is killing the diaper." 

"It's not the first time and it wont be the last." Adriana said with a sigh. Not long after that there was pink confide all over the floor. 

"Yep, that was a good invention. And you actually thought she would wear that?” 

"No I did not, Bill did." 

"Well that's men for you." 

Getting Ready

     Nine-year-old Sandra, Adriana’s youngest daughter, ran down the long hallway and threw her arms around me. How is my favorite little rug rat? I asked as I whirled her small bird like body around the living room. 

Fine, as soon as you stop crushing me to death and making me sick. She replied playfully. 

Oh, sorry. Look what Blue did. 

She’s been doing that since last night. 

Do you think your mother should give it up? 

Yes, I’m tired of picking up the mess. 

Sandra! Do you have your stuff ready? Adriana interrupted. 

Yes I do." 

Then go put it in the back of Cynthia’s truck. 

Be careful, Sparky is back there. I warned. 

Okay I will. Sandra skipped happily down the hallway and did as she was told. 

What do we have here? Sleeping beauty? Good morning Natalia. How is mommy’s number one child? Natalia said nothing only smiled at me sleepily. Her hair was disheveled and eyes were half open; it was obvious that she had just gotten up. 

I’m sleepy, she answered, as she scratched her head. 

Oh, I know. I understand. I know what it’s like to be an eleven-year-old girl; well I once did, there, there, up all night watching TV?" I lifted her chin up with my hand so I could see her eyes. 

Stop it! I’m not awake yet. Natalia warned, turned away from me and went back to her bedroom. 

She’s a little testy, not a morning person no doubt. 

She’s always that way when she first wakes. Adriana said. 

"Well, let's get this show on the road! What's the hole up?" 

"I'm packing food, you do want food don't you?" 

"My lips are sealed, that is, until lunch time." 

I walked over to Blue and looked at the bald spot on her head. 

Adriana! I gasped, Blues head is getting worse. 

Oh, really? Like I don't know. Damn! I tried everything I could think of-all the vet medications; but nothing works. I don't know what to do." 

Well you better do something quick, Blue is starting to look like a four legged monk!” 

Stop that, that’s my dog your talking about! Adriana laughed. I think I’m ready to try the oil remedy. Do you mind if we stop off at Jiffy Lube before we go to the lake? 

Of course not. So, your going to try Bill's remedy?" 

I thought I'd give it a try...nothing else seems to work." 

I looked at Adriana and said, I’d rather have a dog that looked like a dog then one that looks like Fryer Tuck.” 

So would I, so would I. Adriana agreed. 

So, packed up all our worldly belongings and headed to Jiffy Lube.

Doggie Lube

I held up a small jar to the service attendant and asked in a sweet helpless girlish voice: 

“Would it be possible to get some used oil? I have my own jar.” 

“We are not supposed to give oil away.” Replied the Jiffy Lube attendant. I looked at Adriana and said, 

“Let’s give him the puppy dog pout look.” And that’s what we did. We sat there in my truck looking at him like Olive Twist holding up an empty porridge bowl. 

Again I repeated: 

“Can we have some oil please?” 

What could he do? 

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it, but first you have to tell me why you want used motor oil?” 

“It’s for Blue’s head, she has mange. She’s Adriana, Blue is her dog.” 

“Oil on mange…I never heard of such a thing.” 

“Well you have now. A couple of old timers from our apartment complex, told us all about it.” 

“That’s the strangest thing I ever heard.” The attendant said as he took the jar from me. 

“That’s not so strange, your still young. There’s a whole world of strange things waiting to be experienced.” A smirk spread across my face just then. 

“What are you up to?” Adriana asked. 

“You’ll see.” I opened the door to my truck and I yelled out to the attendant, “EXCUSE ME! Could you make that 10/40? After all…it is summer.” Adriana and I screamed with laughter as we drove away from Jiffy Lube. “10/40 that’s a good one, let’s nickname Blue 10/40.” Therefore, we did, to this very day Blue’s second name is 10/40. 

Are We There Yet?

Someone once said getting there is half the fun, well in most cases it is, for some, however getting there in an old pickup-truck loaded with two adults, two medium size children, two big dogs, and enough previsions to feed Napoleon and his army during the invasion of Russia…well that is another thing. I glanced at Adriana as I drove and said: 

“This is an 1982 Toyota pickup truck. I think it is one of the most uncomfortable vehicles on the road.” I looked forward and continued our conversation, “As you can see it has very little, head, leg, and elbow room-like a phone booth on wheels. Damn, if I had it to do all over again I would have bought a truck with a king cab…my ex-husband rushed me into buying this little dilly. Still I shouldn’t complain, its’ a great truck maintenance wise. She gets good gas mileage, has over 100,000 miles on her and she is still running.” 

“Wow, wish I could say that about Bill’s truck.” Adriana said. 

“His truck is as big as they come like a 747 on wheels. I bet you use a half a tank of gas just backing up.” “It wouldn’t surprise me. Sure is comfortable though.” “I’ve been told that 1982 was a good year for Toyota trucks. I think that’s a true statement. I’ve had people come up to me or leave notes on my truck asking if they can buy it.” 

“Really?” 

“You bet.” 

“What’s it’s like on long trips?” Adriana asked. 

“Well, for people 5’6” and under, fine, but for tall people it is like riding in a foreign sports car. Not good at all, my ex-husband, who was 6’1”, had to stop and stretch his legs every twenty miles. That gets annoying after the third stop plus it takes forever to get anywhere. Traveling with him was like making the pilgrimage to see the Deli Lama. Forward, stop, forward, stop, forward, stop, it gets old real fast. To answer your question, okay for average size people, terrible for tall people.” 

We drove on along in silence for a while then I said: 

“George installed the air conditioning when I moved to Phoenix. Thank God. I couldn’t stand living in Phoenix without air conditioning. Poor Natalia and Sandra they must be dieing back there. Better check on them. Don’t want to stop and find their little bleached white bones back there.” 

I opened the sliding glass window behind my head and looked back briefly and yelled: 

“How’s it going back there? Still alive?” I yelled. 

Natalia answered, “There is no room back here! Sparky is sitting on me! Ugh! Dog farts! The dogs are taking up all of the room and we are hot!” 

“That’s nice. I’ll tell your mother.” 

I closed the window behind my head and said: 

“The girls said that they are doing fine. They’re having a great time!” 

We Arrived at Bartlett Lake 

“Look alive, we’re here!” I looked at Adriana, “I’m looking forward to stretching my legs. How about you?” 

“All I’m interested in is having a cigarette.” She replied. 

We got out of the truck and immediately were engulfed by hot dry air. I felt my skin tighten like shrink-wrap in a campfire. 

“Ah, feel that? The desert is out in full force today.” I said. 

“God is it hot!” Adriana said as she lit her cigarette. 

We started to walk to the back of the truck… 

“Hot…what this? This is nothing. Wait until September comes and the temperatures jump up into the 110-115 range; then we’ll talk about hot. This heat is nothing. I looked backed at the temperature gage I carried in my truck “right now it is only 103° and it’s still morning. I bet…” 

“Hey! Let us out of here!” The girls cried. 

“We are coming! Arizona is the hottest in the late afternoon. Yep, by then we should be…” 

“Hurry up we can’t move with these dogs in the way!” Natalia and Sandra yelled. 

“Ouch! Stop it Sparky! Ugh! Sparky licked my eye!” Natalia yelled. 

Looking into the rear of my truck I said, 

“You poor little dears…cooped up in here all this time. Everybody out!” 

The incarcerated made a quick exit. Dogs went to the bushes, girls to the bathrooms. 

“Adriana, give me a hand, please.” Adriana started clapping her hands together. 

“Very funny, it’s not like that hasn’t been done before. Help me get the truck unloaded.” I crawled into the back of the truck and handed things out to her. After unloading the truck, Adriana and I sat on the tailgate and waited for the girls to return. 

“We seem to be the only people here. Where is everybody?” Adriana asked. 

“It’s a week day, at work I suppose. Here comes the girls’.” Natalia and Sandra ran up to us out of breath and asked: 

“Where are we going?” I stood up and pointed to the lake: 

“See where that man is fishing?” “Yes.” “Not there.” 

“Now, do you see that outcropping over there?” 

“Yes.” 

“Not there.” 

“Cynthia, knock it off! Where are we going?” They laughed. 

“All right already. We are going to a small cove. It’s about a quarter of a mile beyond the fisherman. There’s a path leading to the cove. It’s worth the walk, it’s a privet cove, has soft sand, and some large rocks to jump off of. Come on, you’ll like it, trust me.” 

So, we loaded ourselves up like pack mules and trotted off to the cove. Oh, the burdens of joy; we look like beach supplies with legs. 

“Attention everyone! Look alive, all stragglers and deserters will not be left behind. Stay with the leader. “That’s me. I’m the leader; remember I take no prisoners. Sandra, get back in line, no passing, single file. Step…step…step…two…three…four…company MARCH!” We marched down a hill and up another hill, around the hill and over the hill, then down again. The trail was a mixture of gravel, dust, and coarse sand. I warned the others: 

“Watch your step here. This gravel is like walking on marbles.” 

“Are we there yet?” Natalia and Sandra asked. 

“No we’re not there yet!” 

“Are we there yet?” Natalia and Sandra asked. I said nothing. 

“Are we there yet?” asked Natalia and Sandra. 

“We’ll get there when we get there.” 

“Are we there yet?” Adriana asked. [Laughing] 

“No we’re not there yet!” I said with mounting annoyance. 

“Are we…?” asked Natalia and Sandra. [Giggling] Abruptly I stopped walking, whirled around, and yelled, “NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET!” 

Where is the Beach? 

“Company halt! We have arrived.” 

A feeling of disillusion came over me as I gazed down at my “special cove.” Where is my beautiful cove? Gone…all gone! The lake covered everything! I was dumbfounded, thunderstruck, and surprised to say the least! I gasped. 

“I can’t believe it El NiÑo is responsible for this! The rains filled the lake beyond capacity. My special cove was underwater!” 

I stood there lamenting, screaming, gnashing teeth, tearing at my clothes and hair, throwing things down, and taking it rather badly. Adriana grabbed me and shook me out of it. “Look! The beach is the size of a postage stamp!” I cried. 

“Get a hold of myself. It is not the end of the world. It’s no big deal we’ll make do.” 

“Really?” I asked. 

“Of course. Adriana said. Now stop acting crazy your scaring the children.” 

Lake A Blow Dryer

Natalia and Sandra waded into the lake looking for something to float on while Adriana and I made our beach nest. Then we opened the mini-beach chairs, set them up at the waters edge, and sat down. 

I swished my feet around in the water and I said: 

“I hate the heat.” 

“I know Cynthia, you tell me everyday.” Adriana answered matter-of-factly. 

I looked straight ahead and felt the hot breeze skipping off the lake. 

“If I were a slice of bread, I would be crouton in seconds...God it is hot.” 

“I know, I know, now hush, I’m reading.” 

“Mom, where are our beach chairs?” Natalia asked. 

“I’ll field this one, you don’t have chairs. There wasn’t room for them in the truck. Hell there wasn’t room for you in the truck let alone two additional chairs.” 

“Where are we going to sit?” Natalia sulked. 

“Why didn’t you think about us?” 

“Sit on your towels.” Adriana said, calmly. 

“Where? There’s no beach!” Sandra with a smile. 

“Sit anywhere you want.” Adriana said. 

“My towel will get dirty.” Natalia complained. 

“And people wonder why I never had children.” I chimed in. 

“You shouldn’t bring chairs for yourself and nothing for us.” Natalia scolded. Adriana read on unmoved. As an appeasement, I gave Natalia and Sandra permission to sit on my blue tarp. Natalia looked around, "What tarp?" 

I sighed, stood up and said, "I’ll get it. Just give me a minute." 

The Wind Is Not My Friend

I got the tarp, unfolded it, and laid it out on the sand. 

“That tarp! I said. There happy now?” 

As soon as the words left my lips a gust of wind blew the tarp into the lake! The girls thought this was funny and laughed. I was not amused. I shook my fists at the sky (as is my way) grumbling and cursing the wind like sailors of old. Then I calmly collected myself, went out into the lake, retrieved the tarp, shook it out, and laid it down again. 

“There.” I said. 

And again the wind blew it into the lake. Everyone was laughing now. On my third try, I threw myself down on the tarp and lay there like a human “X”. 

“Quick get some driftwood, put it on the corners of the tarp.” I yelled. The girls did as I asked. I got up and examined there handiwork. 

"That baby isn’t going anywhere!" 

“That may be so, but where are we supposed to sit? The driftwood is taking up all the space.” That was true. Unfortunately, there was a slight glitch with my problem solving skills. Natalia and Sandra looked at the tarp then they looked up at me. 

"What do you call this?" They grumbled. 

"Well excuse me!” I remarked snidely. I believe engineers would call it, a design flaw…deal with it! At least I tried if you think you can do any better then I suggest you go for it!" That’s when Sparky and Blue walked onto the tarp and laid down on it. I shook my head, 

“Your on your own” and returned to my chair. 

After the girls settled down I attempted to open my pink and white beach umbrella. This was my favorite umbrella in fact it was my only umbrella. This umbrella was a gift from a former employer. The umbrella is pink and white, it is small…easy to carry, and represents a plethora of memories of a time gone by. Now my umbrella is here with me in Arizona. Once again it can be used to shade me from the hot sun. I took the umbrella from its protective plastic case; examining it like a samurai sword; then I opened up the umbrella. Oh the memories, I reflected on them for a moment tried to stick the umbrella in the ground, but the ground was too hard. I tried other locations, but nothing worked. Then I laid the umbrella on its side; walked over to my beach bag turned around and saw the wind blow it into the lake! Blah! A thousands curses on the wind…I bellowed. Then I held up my fist like Scarlet O’Hara did in Gone With the Wind and said, "As God is my witness I will make this umbrella stand up." 

I went out into the lake and got my umbrella. I did this six times! Each time I retrieved the umbrella I tried something different: I tried to anchor the umbrella down with large rocks, logs, bushes, children (they would not stay put), a weight lifter, you name it I tried it but nothing worked. It was as if the wind had a grudge against my umbrella or me. On my seventh attempt a large gust of wind grabbed my beloved umbrella turned it inside out-breaking most of the wires inside. I stood there holding this inverted object in disbelief as everyone burst into laughter. “Well I guess I won’t be needing this anymore.” I tossed the umbrella down and said: “So, what have we learned from all of this?” Laughing Adriana answered, “Not to open an umbrella in winds greater then 30 miles am hour?” “Precisely.” I answered. I finally relinquished my seriousness and joined the other in laughter. “Come over here and sit down, have a beer, you are wasting the whole day wrestling with that stupid thing.” Adriana suggested. I was too…so I did as my friend asked, besides my “special” umbrella was a goner. 

Swimming

Adriana and I stood in the lake the water was close to 90 degrees. I looked at her and said, 

“Warm isn’t it? Not very refreshing.” 

“True, but at least we won’t freeze to death.” Adriana said. 

“Ouch! Watch out for those bushes down there. I just got scratched by one.” 

“Here comes Natalia and Sandra.” Adriana commented. 

“Sandra! Natalia yelled, help me with this tree-maybe we can float on it.” 

The girls rolled an eight-foot log into the lake and started to push it out toward Adriana and I. We watched as Natalia got on the log. It sunk. Then Sandra got on and the log this time it didn’t sink. I walked toward the log, grabbed one end of it and pushed it away from me. 

“Log rigged for silent running. Run silent, run deep…Sandra! Lift your feet up!” 

Sandra glided through the water like a crocodile. Then Sparky, my Labrador, came to the rescue. He swam out to the log, grabbed the frayed end of it and swam back to shore. He beached both the log and child. 

“Did you see that?” I said in amazement. 


“That dog of yours is something else.” Adriana commented. 

“A Kodak moment too bad I am out here and my camera is on the shore.” 

We pushed the log back out into the lake and each time we did this Sparky fetched the log. 

“And you thought swimming was safe.” I joked then I hummed the music to the movie JAWS. 

Sparky continued to fetch Sandra every time she went out on the log. Eventually Sandra grew tired of this and let Sparky have the log. This made Sparky happy, he pulled the log ashore, stretched out in the sand and started to chew on the log’s splintered end. Meanwhile, Sandra attempted to join her sister on another log. By dog paddling her way out to her. Her splashing about did not go unnoticed Sparky saw her an d must have thought she was drowning because he swam out to save her. When Sparky reached Sandra she was winded, so she grabbed onto Sparky’s collar. He turned, and swam back to shore dragging her behind him. Once there, they parted and went their separate ways. 

“That’s my dog.” I said with pride.

Nothing To Do 

 I’m bored! I cannot take it anymore! Anyone want to go on one of my famous Death Marches?” “Death March? What’s a Death March?” Natalia inquired. “Oh, it’s just a little walk.” “And what’s a little walk to you?” “Oh, just a little…long walk, where the sick, wounded, and dying are left behind!” “Then what?” “Then nothing, you die I guess.” “I don’t get it, what’s the catch?” Natalia asked with a look of suspicion. “Nothing really! Dying is easy, it’s living that is hard…or in your case keeping up…that’s all. Your young, you’ll make it; so will Sandra.” I answered in an ambiguous way. “Does it sound like fun to you?” “Let me think, I’m not sick or wounded, I think so.” Natalia said laughing. “Well, then let’s go! Get you shoes on, the rocks around here are not our friends.” 

Walking Sticks

The dogs ran ahead of me as I bent down to pick up a long stick. I examined the stick closely. 

“This will be a good walking stick.” I said. 

“What do you need a walking stick for?” Asked Natalia. 

“For walking silly. Walking sticks help you to walk up and down hills; they keep you from falling down. Lots of people use walking sticks. Did you know that walking sticks have been used since the beginning of time? Moses had a walking stick or staff if you please, but he was an over achiever-frogs, snakes, Red Sea and all. We won’t be doing any of that today unless one of you girls have a hidden talents. Now, get your self a stick and let’s get going.” 

I started to lead the way up the hill with my trusty stick in hand when suddenly Natalia passed me. That didn’t last long, Sandra overtook Natalie then the dogs overtook Sandra. We all took off in a mad dash to the top of the hill. I went into high gear and overtook everyone except the dogs then I stopped suddenly and whirled around: 

“Now wait a darn-gone-minute! I shouted. This is my death march. I’m the leader. You’re supposed to follow me. What’s with all the passing?” There was no answer only a glint of mischief in their eyes. I knew what I had to do next. I threw down my walking stick and started running up the hill. I heard sticks drop behind me, and then I heard the pitter-patter of little feet-giving chase. We were all laughing now. Near the top of the hill my forty-six-year old heart became winded, so I stopped running to catch my breath. 

Between gasps for air I whispered: 

“Imagine we’re the von Trapp Family fleeing from Austria to Switzerland during World War II. Be very quite, or the Germans will discover us!” 

The girls looked at me as if I was crazy. Sandra said, 

“Who are the von Trapp Family?” http://www.foxhome.com/soundofmusic/som.html 

“Oh, good grief. Captain von Trapp was a widower, he was the first draft dodger, he had a million children, Maria was his governess, she taught his children how to sing and dance. The children and the governess ran all over town in clothes made from curtains singing all the time. They annoyed their neighbors so much that they had to flee to Switzerland to keep from being killed by the Germans.” "That’s not right! You’re talking about “The Sound of Music.” Natalia corrected. I began to laugh and said, “Very good Natalia, you know your movies.” I paused for a moment then said, “Did you know that Indians once used this lake?” 

“No.” Natalia and Sandra said. 

“Well they did." 

A Tall Tale 


“Long, long, ago, when the buffalo roamed the plans, before white man knew about this land, Indians used to come to this lake to get their water. Here they bathed, washed cloths, and watered their animals. That’s why these trails are still here worn by time; by the feet of Indians and livestock.” 

“Really?” Sandra asked all wide-eyed. 

“Certainly. Did you know that Indian women gossiped?” 

“No.” The sister’s answered. 

“Well, they did but mostly on washday-which was the 6th moon in the week and do you know that the Indians lost things on washday because they talked so much?” 

“No. What did they loose?” The sister’s asked with increased interest.

“They lost red socks...in all sizes. The socks would fall out of the baskets on the way back to the village. This happened all the time but mostly at night. Like today's mom’s the Indian women would come up with missing mates to socks. It was just as baffling then as it is now. Archeologists have found many socks in this desert. 

Natalia asked suspiciously, “r-e-a-l-l-y?” 

“Would I lie to you and your sister?” 

“Well, yes. There was that van Trapp thing and besides I don’t know you that well. You are my mother’s friend...what was the name of the Indian tribe?” 

“Well, that should be obvious Natalia. They were the “Red Socks.” I said this with a straight face then I paused to wait for Natalia's reaction. Natalia looked at me, then at Sandra then at the ground. 

“Oh, I think I have heard of them.” She said. After telling this tale tale we walked with our heads lowered looking for red socks. 

It took us only eight minutes to get to the other side of the cove and up a small hill. We followed trail after trail until we were almost at the highest point on the hill. We stopped to catch our breath and looked around for socks. 

“I don’t think we are going to find any socks today. This area looks like it’s been picked clean by other thrill seekers I think you better give it up.” 

Plastic Plant

“Look what I found!” It was a plastic potted plant with big tropical leaves about four feet in height. “What on earth is that doing here?” I questioned. 

“I don’t know. Maybe someone lost it.” Natalia said. 

“Your dad has a boat Natalia, have you ever seen anyone with one of those things on their boat?” “No.” 

“Must be a decoration of some sort. Boy, what some people won’t do to with their free time. How lame think about it what if you had that plant on your motorboat and you were pulling a skier and that thing fly's out of the boat and hits the skier. That wouldn’t be very smart. Some people...are so stupid…only in Scottsdale...how lame.” 

“I’m hungry, me too.” Said Sandra and Natalia. 

“Let’s walk back along the shoreline." 

Gruesome Discover

“ Cynthia the dogs hurt their paws!” Natalia screamed. Sandra and I came out of the water and looked at the dogs feet. 

“Oh, my God! How did this happen? There were deep gashes in the pads of the dogs back feet about an inch deep. 

“What on earth happened to you Sparky? I will never eat a steak medium rare again. Gross! I started to gag then Sandra gagged. 

Natalia asked: “How did they do this?” 

“My guess is that they stepped on something sharp or maybe the granite around the lake caused this to happen. Remember how it cut into our feet when we removed our shoes? Poor dog’s, I had no idea this would happen to them! Let's say on the sand close to the waters edge it will be less abrasive to the dogs paws. 

High Trail or Low Trail

“Cynthia, what do we do now?” Natalia asked twice. 

“I’m sorry…I was thinking if I go for help, the dogs will follow me so that is out. We do not have a first aid kit with us. I wish I had some duct tape. we can not carry them they are too heavy so it looks like they will have to walk…there is nothing else we can do. Let’s continue walking along the shoreline. This was a better way until the shoreline gave out.

Plant Mystery Solved

 

"I found another one of those plastic plants." Sandra yelled. 

"This is too much. There must be some other reason why these plants are out here." Shortly thereafter, I saw a buoy… it was surrounded by “plastic plants” just like the one’s Sandra found. Then an explanation presented itself to me and I had to laughed, “boat decoration, yeah right.” I laughed and pointed the buoy out to the girls then we all had a good laugh. The plants were buoy decorations of all things. 

"Oh, no!" I gasped. 

"Where is the beach?" Natalia said. The shoreline ended, it just stopped! There was a giant boulder extending out into the lake. 

"Oh, this is just wonderful!" 

" I knew we should have gone the other way.!" Natalia said. 

"Oh you did did you? Easy to say now the water here looks deep. Think I will swim out and see how deep it is. Stay put I'll be right back. I disappeared under the water and resurfaced it is deep, I can't touch bottom. 

"Well?" Natalia inquired. 

"Now what are we going to do? We should have never came this way." Natalia lamented. 

"Who made you the voice of woe? Be quite, let me think." So, we all sat down on a rock and pondered our situation. 

"We shouldn’t come this way." Natalia repeated. 

"Will you knock it off! Just calm down." 

From where we sat we could all see Adriana she was cooking the hot dogs. 

"Oh, great, now we get to smell food boy I'm so hungry." 

"Me too." Sandra said. 

"So, am I." 

"I know what we will do we will swim across to the other side." I said. 

"I can’t swim that far." Natalia protested. 

"Well, neither can I, but we can hold on to that log we can all cross the lake that way." 

"Oh." 

"Who’s game for a log adventure?" 

"I am." Sandra said. 

"Just think of food...food awaits." 

"I still can't swim that far." Natalia said. 

"I can always leave you behind as one of the sick and wounded." 

"I just don't know, I don't want to cross the lake on a log." 

"Well, suite yourself Sandra and I going." 

"What about the dogs?" 

"They will follow us they can smell the hotdogs too." 

"Come on Natalie it will be fun." 

"No, I don't want to." 

"Okay, see you on the other side." I got into the water and grabbed the log then pushed it toward Sandra. 

"What about the dogs?" Natalia asked. 

"They can swim across the lake, they will follow us once we are away from the shore. Now, come on." 

"No, I don't want to." 

"Okay then, bye." 

The Crossing

As soon as we started moving away from the shore the dogs protested. They barked and whining and carrying on like we were leaving them for dead. 

"See, the dogs don't want to swim across the lake." Natalia pointed out. 

"They will." 

"Sandra, this log looks familiar isn’t this the log you girls played on earlier today?" 

"Looks like it." Sandra said. 

"The wind must have cause the log to drift over here how nice the log is what we needed. Still it seems like a ( The Twilight Zone theme) Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do to me." Sandra laughed. 

"Are you really going to leave my sister behind?" Sandra asked. 

"Of course not, she’ll come after us just wait and see." Natalia watched us moving further away from her she suddenly yelled: 

"Wait!" We stopped kicking our legs, looked behind us, and watched Natalia get into the water. "I'm coming!" She swam out to us. 

I looked over at Sandra and said, "See told yah that didn’t take long nothing like the smell of food for motivation." 

Welcome Aboard 

"Welcome aboard, Natalia, please stow all luggage in the overhead compartment or under your seat. Fasten your seat belts, we will be docking in approximately 29 minutes. On behalf of Huckleberry Finn’s raft excursions we thank you for floating with us. 

"Natalia." 

"Yes sir." 

"Take the starboard side, that's right side of the log." 

"I will talk port side, Sandra you have the middle. Okay girls are you ready?" 

"Yes sir." They both answered giggling. 

"Then start your engines!" We all started kicking our legs like frogmen. 

"Thanks to Natalia we are actually going forward! I joked. What made you come after us?" I inquired. 

"I didn’t want to walk all the way back by myself" Natalia said. "And I didn't want to be thought of as the sick or wounded." 

The further we moved away from the shore the louder the dogs barked. They definitely were against being left behind. We called to them Sparky! Blue! 1040 come but they chose not to follow us. 

"Why won’t Blue and Sparky come?" Sandra asked. 

"I think Sparky and Blue are scared or unsure of themselves. They swim across when they see that we have made it to the other side. (I hope) 

"What if they don’t follow us, then what?" Natalia asked. 

"Then we have a problem let's hope it doesn't come to that. They will follow us, in due time so do not worry your little hamster heads over it." 

"I sure am hungry." 

"Me too." Natalia and Sandra said. 

"Ever cross a lake on a log before?" 

"No". The girls answered. 

"Neither have I fun isn’t it?" 

"Yes but it is also boring." Sandra said. 

"Torchure when you are hungry and you smell food. How is everyone doing?" 

"Fine." They answered. 

"What do you want to be when you grow-up Sandra?" 

"A helicopter pilot or a traffic reporter." Sandra said. 

"Really? What about you, Natalia."

"What, huh?" 

"What do you want to be when you grow-up?" 

"I want to be rich so I will have a job where I can make lots of money." 

"Wow, you girls really have it altogether when I was your age I thought girls married and had babies, not careers. You two girls really impress me." 

As we moved across the cove we engaged in conversation that didn’t go anywhere just to kill time, but nothing we talked about distracted us enough from the hunger we felt our stomachs. 

"Let’s kick harder...there are large fish out here they might think we are bait." 

"Are fish that stupid?" 

"Just stop kicking and you will find out." I teased. 

As soon a the shoreline within swimming distance Natalia and Sandra abandon ship and swam the rest of the way. 

"Girls you just participated in the Great Huckleberry Fin Log Crossing, and survived one of my infamous death marches, how do you feel about that?" 

"Pretty good!" Natalia answered. The little elf's ran toward the food. 

"Hay! Wait for me this is no way to treat captain!" 

Sparky and 10/40

The dogs barked in protest we had food and they had none. 

"Look at those two any minute now and they will be over here begging." Adriana said. 

"It is just a matter of time food will over ride fear of the unknown I know it works for me." 

"Let's save the dogs a hotdog." Adriana suggested. 

"Good idea!" 

"BLUE! COME BLUE! COME 1040!" We all yelled. Then suddenly Blue jumped into the water. 

"COME ON BLUE, GOOD DOG, YOU CAN DO IT!" We cheered on. 

"SPARKY! SPARKY! COME SPARKY come dumb dog!" But, Sparky just sat there barking. 

"Guess we know whose dog is smarter." Adriana teased. 

"Hay! Wait a minute Sparky is just waiting to see if 10/40 makes it over to this side. That is why he is not in the water. Dumb dog...I think not." I said all knowingly. 

Blue was half way across the cove when Sparky jump into the water. 

"Hooray! We all cheered! Here comes Sparky!"

"Food will do it every time." I said. 

We called to the dogs continually to encouraging them during their swam. Blue came out of the water first she greeted us and we greeted her with hugs and praises. 

"Good dog! Good dog! 10/40 ate her hotdog and was fast asleep when Sparky came ashore. He did not greet us he went straight for the food then laid down next to Blue and went to sleep. 

"Poor 10/40, she is so tired good thing she had sunscreen on her bald head. I joked. She's a George Hamilton dog." 

"It sure was a long swim for her, she’s never done anything like that before." Adriana commented. "Neither has Sparky come over here and look at their feet. 

Feeling Helpless 

"This is horrible how did this happen? It looks like someone cut their feet with a knife. Adriana said. 

"I know, I know." 

"The poor dears" how on earth are we going to get them back to the truck? 
"I wish I knew"if only we had a first aid kit or something to wrap around their paws. I don't have a First Aid Kit." 

" I feel so helpless." We stood there in silence looking at the dogs and thinking, finally I said: "Let’s go swimming maybe we’ll come up with an idea if we don’t force it."

"Sounds good to me." 

So, we entered the water together and waded out until we could no longer touch bottom. Then we swam over to a log and hung onto it. 

"This log is always around when you need it. I said. Let’s dangle." 

"What is dangle?" 

"It's hanging on to a floatation device and letting your body go limp. I think dangling is so relaxing." 

As soon as we did this our legs floated up on the other side of the log; we were suddenly on our backs floating and the log was starting to roll toward us. 

"Opp’s too much relaxing. Still it was fun once you get the hang of it." 

"What are you trying to do? Drown me?" Adriana teased. 

"Hay, easy"I did it to me too! Tell you what, let’s try it again, this time we’ll keep our legs behind us." 

"Okay, now what?" Adriana asked. 

"Now we think and dangle." Silence followed. "Did you think of anything?" 

"No, did you?" 

"Nope...maybe we need a refresher course in dangling? By the way, Sandra and Natalia believe that an Indian tribe once lived around here." 

"Cynthia! Have you been telling stories again?" 

"You bet I have. They fell for it hook line and sinker. Guess what?" 

"I can hardly wait...what?" 

"Sandra wants to be a helicopter pilot when she grows up." 

"That doesn’t surprise me. Last week she wanted to be a gypsy." 

"Now there’s a career with a future." We both laughed and I looked at my tennis shoes. 

"I just had a thought." 

"Yeah, what is it?" 

"Our socks! We’ll use our socks as a bandage. If we put them on the back feet of the dogs it will keep the sand and dirt out of their cuts." 

"That's a good idea...but how do we hold them up? Garters?" 

"Oh, a wise guy! Always technicalities with you, I don't know." 

We dangled again in silence. 

"Garters! Imagine the dogs in garters." We thought about it then laughed. 

"Okay, let’s get back on track here" shoestrings would work if we had some. My shoes are Velcro what about yours?" 

"Mine are slip-on's see." She showed me her feet and the log started to roll over us again. 

"Ahh! Stop that!" 

Again we dangled in silence. 

"Did I tell you about the Indians who used to live around here?"

"I can hardly wait. Tell me."

"They were the Arizona Red Socks." 

"Red Socks? That doesn’t sound like Indian name. Did you really tell my children this?" 

"You bet they should know some history." 

"What did you tell them?" 

"There’s proof somewhere out there yep somewhere there are some socks rotting in the hot desert sun, all that remain of a once proud Indian civilization. Yep…yep…yep one day you’ll stumble upon the lost socks.” 

"Oh, PLEASE! Spare me! How many beers have you had?" Adriana asked laughing. 

"Two, I stopped after that. The sun and the beer gave me a headache."

"I think it gave you a brain tumor." 

"I’VE GOT IT!"

"What? Brain damage?"

"Cute, real cute. No, I have an idea! A solution to our problem, we’ll keep the socks up by using strips of plastic!” 

"You know that sounds like it would work! Congratulations the transplant took." 

Stupid Fish

"I could dangle here all day...isn't this relaxing? Doesn't it make you want to...ahhhhhhhhhh!" Something just bit me! Abandon ship!" I yelled. 

We let go of the log and swam back to shore as fast as we could. Then ran out of the water. I looked back at the lake then at my wound. 

"What in the world was that?"

"I’ll tell you what it was it was "JAWS"! I was attacked by a killer fish! Look tiny teeth marks around my moll!" (The bite radius was the size of a thimble). 

"That stupid-fish must have though my mole was a bug! It doesn't look like a bug to me. 

It could to a fish...to me it looks like...oh never mind. Good thing we got out when we did I could have been attacked by a swarm of tiny fish!" I yelled at the lake, "Dumb fish! I hope you get eaten by a bigger fish or a fisherman gets YOU…YOU ASSASSIN!” 

"Can you walk? Adriana asked jokingly. Quick let’s get you to E. R."

"Stop it! Do you have any idea how close that fish was to my privet parts? Now that I think about it, that's a good reason not to go skinny-dipping in the lake. Little or not those teeth really hurt. Look…it’s all red do you think it will leave a scare?” 

"Cynthia, are you for real? P-l-e-a-s-e! Let it go! Maybe we should leave before you go into shock." Adriana teased. 

"Very funny!" I mocked back then we started to laugh. 

Then I added, "Lakes are dangerous! Anything could live in that lake it could be the home of the Lost Sock Monster for all we know. Socks just don’t disappear!"

Adriana shook her head back and forth in disbelief. 

"Okay, okay, it’s late, we should be getting home." 

"Lost Sock Monster...indeed!" Adriana mumbled as she walked away from me. 

The Sock Hop

"I hope this works." I said. 

I put my white socks on Sparky’s back feet and Adriana put her socks on Blue’s back feet. We tied the tops of the socks up with strips of plastic from a plastic bag and then waited for the dogs to pull the socks off their feet. The dogs gave us a toothy grin and just looked at us waiting for us to make the next move. 

"They sure look funny." I said. 

"It looks like dog garters." Adriana observed. 

"Walk dogs, lets see if you can walk!" I ordered. 

They walked like their back feet were stuck to fly paper, then as they realized that no pain was involved they started getting excited. They circled us and barked; then they danced around the camp a bit before running up the mound of dirt and rock to the trail that would lead us back to my truck. They ran ahead, stopping every now and then to see if we were still coming. They look so funny! Like dogs walking in snowshoes. 

"Perhaps this is how the phrase "sock hop" got started...one never knows." 

The dogs entertained us all the way back to the truck. We laughed every step of the way. 

The Short Cut

The ride home seemed shorter to me because I took what I believe was a short cut. I’m Captain Wrong-way-it’s what I do. If there is a wrong-way to go, I will find it. I am a trailblazer I know best. 

"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Therefore, if we drive down Pima instead of staying on Cave Creek Road it should be shorter. Eventually Pima runs parallel to Cave Creek," 

"I don’t think so, we’ll see." Adriana laughed. 

"Cave Creek is out there somewhere, we just can’t see it because the desert is in the way. Trust me all I have to do is make a right-hand turn up here and we’ll be back on Cave Creek." 

"Sure we will." 

"Would you trust me? I think I know what I’m doing!" I said in a tired voice. I turned right on Pinnacle Peak and drove for thirty minutes, eventually it brought us back to Cave Creek, but it wasn’t when I said it would be. It was pretty much the route Columbus took to the West Indies. 

"See! They do run parallel." I said sheepishly. 

"Parallel means side by side." Adriana corrected. 

"Yes, I know that. This is side by side! However, you have to think in another dimension." 

We looked at each other and burst out in laughter. 

"This is Captain Wrong-way at your service my dear, I’ll get us there sooner or later. Trust me." 

Home At Last

When we got to Adriana’s apartment everyone in the back of my truck was asleep. 

"Adriana, come here. Look, everyone is sleeping. They were all lying on top of each other, scrunched together; like human pretzels with fur. 

"I wonder how they can sleep like that and in this heat?" I whispered. 

"They can sleep anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Their kids, that’s what kids do." Adriana said. 

"Awe, well all-good things must come to an end we better get your offspring upstairs before they dehydrate." 

"I agree." 

"Stand back, let me handle this." Then I yelled, WAKE-UP YOU SLEEPY HEADS AND ROLL YOU HINNIES OUT OF BED! I SAID HURRY UP! MOVE IT, MOVE IT, M-O-V-E IT!" 

Then in a mellow voice I said: 

"I’m tired, I have the winkies and I want to go home." 

Cynthia's Got The Winkies 

Abandon Ship! The evacuated of my truck took a few seconds. The girls and 10/40 parted without a word. They walked up stairs like condemned men to the gallows leaving all of their things on the lawn below. 

"Adriana, what about this stuff?" Adriana who was leaning over the second floor railing: 

"Their kids, that’s what they do. I’ll get it later." 

Her head vanished and I heard everyone enter the apartment. 

"Well, if that don’t beat all,I said in a loud voice, I didn’t get one thank-you. I drove all the way to Kingdom Come and back and no one says thanks." 

"I heard that!" Adriana answered, as she leaned back over the railing, which startled me. 

"Thank-you very Cynthia now go home and take a nap, you old grouch. We all had a great time." 

Adriana said with a mischievous smile on her face. 

"Oh, you heard me." I answered more then embarrassed. "Man do you have good hearing. Well, I’ll be going now; I need to go save some face. See you tomorrow." 

"Bye Cynthia!" 

"Bye!" 

I drove to my apartment with a warm fuzzy feeling inside; I was thinking good thoughts about Adriana and her girls. Despite a few setbacks, like wilderness wrong turns, Adriana’s good hearing, the dog injuries and the absents of red socks around the lake, it had been a great day, we all had a good time and I have the bite-mark to prove it. 

The End 




Written By: Cynthia E. Martin 
On June 19, 1998 
Edited 1998-1999 By George Naanes 


Epilogue 


"These are the voyages of Cynthia and Adriana their one-year mission to explore Arizona’s sights (what there is of them--- in Phoenix) before Cynthia and her husband (George) move to Colorado. Star date 061698 10:00 AM we arrived at Bartlett Lake. I pilot the lack of space get your elbow out of my eye, pickup truck. I am Captain Wrong-way. Adriana Robinson is my navigator she was trained at the Academy of Hindsight, their motto, "Wasn’t that your turn?" 
Set a course for out there..."ENGAGE!" 

Winkies: Slang-For being tired, sleepy, cranky, and fussy. 

Did the used motor oil have any effect on 10/40’s (Blue’s) mange? You bet, it took months but eventually her hair grew back. Blue is no longer looks like a four-legged monk. January 2000, Blue was put to sleep because she had cancer. During her life with the Robinson's and me she went on many outings-- she had a good life. 



Copyright © 2001 by Visions West Inc. All rights reserved. Revised: 26 Jan 2001 16:43:24 -0800