| My New Life |
| It's 2001 and as I look back on the last 16 years (wow that's a long time) I can finally start to put the puzzle together. I once wrote a poem to my wife called 'The closer I get, the harder to find' it was a love poem, but the Phrase fits. In order to sort and understand what has happened, I needed it to be far away from me. I no longer panic when I think about the day I hit the floor in 91, nor do I have any anger toward the doctors who missed my MS. I only see facts now, not emotions. The fact is MS is a sneaky little vermin that prides itself on cowardice. How can we fight something we can't see or even know where it will be next week. If I broke my arm I would know not to move it! My feelings on this elusive foe have changed over the years. I will try to sum it up here. I don't fight MS, I just move around it. Since I can't stand toe to toe with it, I simply mirror it. It surfaces and I duck! If my left arm is failing I use my right one instead, this way I have beaten it at it's own game. How ironic is that? I think this is the biggest lesson I have learned. Don't be angry about a loss, find a way to overcome it. Keep moving away from MS as it tries to sneak up on you. If you take a hit then smile at your opponent, knowing you will win the next battle. Never give up or give in. Keep dodging and weaving and make MS miss you. I have done well in the last 5 + years since Betaseron. I have worked hard, I have had many good days. I have spend priceless hours with my family, that wouldn't have been possible if I was still that old 9-5 guy. So I have taken a little something away from the Monster. The monster tried to take my freedom, but I have found a way fool that Monster by taking the extra time I was given and spending it more wisely. There are some Monday mornings when I see everyone hurrying to work and I have nowhere to go. That can be a good thing. I have my whole day for me and my family. Maybe the monster will sleep in on that day and I will win again. They say a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work. I have enjoyed working on this page, it has allowed me to vent. That wasn't the purpose, but again, one never knows what they will get. I tried to write this as honest as I could and I sincerely hope the readers will find something they can relate to. Something to put away and recall when they need it. If have have made you smile or cry I did well. If I made you think, then I have done what I set out to do. I have a guestbook set up on this page and I beg you to sign it. I would also like to try and add somekind of message board, so I can hear the stories of others and share them with all the visitors here. Let me know if you would be interested in that. My door is open to anyone who has a question or just needs to vent. You can email me, there is a link on the main page. I have yahoo and MSN, email me for the addresses and usernames. Take Care and be happy and safe. May your monster sleep late tomorrow Thanks, Kevin |
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